(Closed) Did anyone backout and not help pay for your wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yep, My mom promised me a Dj and my dress, well I got my dress, thank God, but come to find out she charged it on my Gramma’s card, and now she says she can’t pay for DJ, well FH got laid off a month ago, and we were going to be “okay” but this hit us and now my brother who said he would pay for flowers moved out of state and isn’t even acknowledging the commitment, so IDK what to do. No advice for you yet, but I will let you know if I figure this out.

Post # 5
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m so sorry to hear, this must be very stressful!  My first thought is, if you asked her around the time her sister passed away, maybe she was distracted?  Would you feel comfortable bringing this up again now, or in a month, maybe preface with something like, “We are in the final stages of budget planning and I was just curious if you were still able to contribute?” 

I’m crossing my fingers for you that all works out!

 

Post # 7
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@lioness_89:  I am so glad that worked out for you!  I was in the same situation with FI’s mom (she had promised to pay for things but then never mentioned it!).  Luckily, she had been planning to all along and has given us the money in little spurts through out.   So I know your stress!  πŸ™‚  Will be sending good job-hunting vibes to your FI!  πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Haha, yes! My parents. Right when we got engaged, they let us know what the deal was – they were giving us the same amount as they had given my older brother for his wedding, to be paid directly to the vendors for whatever we wanted.

Fast forward a year into planning. My parents had separated, and my mother was living on her own for the first time in her life. I contacted my father to let him know I needed a vendor payment in the next few weeks, according to our contract. He contacted my mom, she wouldn’t let him. The line of credit was in both of their names, and she said she couldn’t live with more debt. A lot of woe is me relationship stuff between the two of them happened, mostly coming from my dad’s side.

Eventually he did take out the money and pay the vendor, against my mom’s wishes and not telling her. Mom said diddly squat to me about it until the week before my wedding. She goes, “oh, it’s so hard to live on my own” and also, “what does your father do with his money anyway? He makes $100,000/yr!” (not true, btw) (and yes, she left him to be with another man). I just laughed awkwardly and explained that we were counting on that money and had budgeted for it. I think she’s still under the impression we magically pulled a couple of thousand of dollars out of our rears to make that payment.

So yeah, my dad explained after taking out the money that he was sorry but he would not be able to contribute any more money to the wedding after all. I could not care less about that, but nice to know a little bit in advance. That stringing couples along with the promise of contributing money and then not ponying up… I don’t get it! It’s not like they were expecting anything before the other party brought it up! What’s up with that.

Post # 11
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@lioness_89:  why are you moving your wedding to two days before your cousin’s?

Post # 15
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Definetly understand where you are coming from! When Fiance and I got engaged (2 years ago) Future Mother-In-Law said she would pay for half the wedding. A few months later she said she would pay $10,000. A few months after that she said she’ll pay $5,000. Then she said she’s not paying anything and she’ll give us $5,000 for a down payment for our house and pay for the rehearsal dinner. She also said she would gift us our honeymoon to Hawaii. She said she would buy our plane tickets around Easter, now she’s saying she won’t buy them until summer time. Oh, and she’s now saying she won’t give us the $5,000 for a down payment.

But don’t worry! She was able to get enough money to treat her 2 neices to anything they want and she also went back to school to get her masters, so she’s all taken care of.

Can you tell I’m a little bitter?

Post # 16
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@lioness_89:  Yes, and by reading your other posts – glad yours seems to be worked out too! Honestly, I don’t know how we pulled it all off in the end. Got super lucky in a bunch of different ways. Best of luck with the rest of your planning!!

The topic ‘Did anyone backout and not help pay for your wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors