Did anyone change the mind of their SO?posted 7 months ago in No Kids
- 7 months ago
- Wedding: September 2020
sassy411 : Of course I was/am still terrified of bringing kids into our relationship and the negative outcomes it could bring. It’s totally reasonable! There has been a plethora of research that shows that having children affects marriage in a negative way, plus the fear of the unknown is always present. I don’t see why that’s a crazy thought. Our relationship is great right now and adding kids might hurt our relationship, the thought of that is scary. Read up a little, I think it should be acknowledged by people pre children that this is a possibility and a reality for a lot of people.
Yeah 4 months ago was about when we started discussing children vs no children, got my timeline way off with my OP here. I thought it was longer ago that we started discussing it. Prior to 4 months ago he had only ever thought of being a dad in the glamorous “I get to teach them cool stuff and play games with them all day” type of way and since then we’ve been researching and discussing the realities of parenthood. Why is it a crazy thought that he used to live in fantasy land and then looked at reality and realized it wasn’t necessarily what he wanted? Have you never changed your mind about something when someone else pointed out something you’ve never thought of or given you a different perspective? I am personally not that rigid nor is my SO.
What you have pointed out though is that you’re right it hasn’t been all that long so I’ll keep that in mind and keep the discussion open and honest throughout the years and let him know that all of his wants, needs, and feelings are valid when it comes to wanting or not wanting children.
Just because something is scary doesn’t mean I don’t or won’t ever want it and just because someone used to think a certain way doesn’t mean they always will especially if they gain new perspective. I’ve had my mind changed about stuff in a day, 4 months of conversation and research is not “so quickly”.