Post # 1
Hi bees –
Did anyone do marriage prep sessions with a licensed, secular counselor? We have our first session this week with a marriage counselor who also does marriage prep. I’m excited. FH really wanted to go the Catholic route (which we did!), but I was disappointed that our pre-marriage retreat through the Church was mostly just trying to push us to not use birth control…they gave us eight (!) pamphlets about natural family planning. I was hoping for something that would give us tools to strengthen our relationship/prepare for the commitment of marriage.
What was your marriage prep like? What kinds of topics did you talk about (in-laws, finances, children, conflict resolution?)?
Post # 2
weddingbee deleted my answer but half a sentence so I just deleted the whole thing
Post # 3
Yes, we did both. We talked mostly about conflict resolution. My h7sband and I both try to fix problems, and some problems are not fixable, so it was especially helpful in learning how to provide support through hard times rather than just trying to fix things.
We also discussed backgrounds and such because our counselor wanted us to be on the same page of what we wanted our relationship to be. We also learned that celebrating in the good times is more important to a relationship than comiserating in the bad times.
Post # 4
yes. my country provides subsidies if you complete a pre-marriage preparation course. it was very helpful and forced us to talk about things that we had kind of assumed we would talk about someday but never got round to. it was also useful in getting us to open up to each other more.
Post # 5
Yes we went this route and were very happy. We brought up a few topics relevant to us (anything is game), but she also focused on our communication, which was a perfect anchor.
Post # 6
erosie: My fiance and I read up a lot on what to talk about before marriage. We compiled a non-religious, non-judgmental guide here: http://schoolofeverafter.com/guide/. Let us know if there are any topics we might have missed!