(Closed) Did Anyone else get engaged without a "proposal"?

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

Yup! Just like you, we both came to a mutual decision with the blessing of our parents, and then planned engagement related things together. This is mainly because a proposal on the knee is not really part of our culture.Β 

Post # 3
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We made the decision to get married, picked out a ring together, and then told people that were engaged. If you’ve agreed get married, then you’re engaged. It doesn’t have anything to do with him being down on one knee or presenting you with a ring.

Congratulations on your engagement, and happy planning!

Post # 5
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

View original reply
spaceship54321 :  Us too! We’ve been together since we were teenagers and just made the decision one day that our relationship was ready for that next step. We are currently in the process of saving up for my dream ring that we picked together and have begun planning our October 2018 wedding! Fiance sometimes feels guilty, like I missed out on the surprise of it all (I definitely don’t feel this way) so I agreed to let him formally ‘propose’ when our ring finally comes in. 

Post # 6
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
spaceship54321 :  I did have a proposal, but I know a bunch of couples who just came to a decision to get married. We had that discussion, and decided we were ready for marriage, but my fiance wanted there to be a ring and a formal proposal. Honestly, it would have been easier if we didn’t have the proposal – due to my work schedule, there are certain times of year that are much more convenient to get married, but I didn’t want to look at venues or get started planning until the “official” proposal happened, making time more limited. I feel like having the discussion then just being engaged is very practical πŸ™‚ Unless you’re feeling like you’re really missing something without the proposal, go forward, plan, enjoy being engaged!

Congrats!!!

Post # 9
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Congrats on your engagement!

I got engaged without a proposal or a ring. Like you, we talked about it and came to a mutual decision to get married. It was an easy, stress free, wait free, and conflict free situation. We just decided we were ready and started planning. 

Some of my friends thought the lack of traditional proposal and ring were strange, but they just have it ingrained in their heads how engagements are “supposed” to happen. It doesn’t bother us in the least. We’re just excited to get married!

Post # 11
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

My SO is so frustrating lol. We had a discussion and decided we want to get married but my SO does not officially consider us engaged until after he proposes with the ring. I just want to start telling everyone I’M ENGAGED but I can’t because by his definition we aren’t. UGH. So I’m waiting but I just want to start planning already!

Congratulations to you both! I hope you guys enjoy this exciting time in your life πŸ˜€

Post # 12
Member
2432 posts
Buzzing bee

His “definition” is wrong.

Post # 13
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Yes…we’ve definitely done things our own way.

Discussed getting married.

Bought a diamond.

Booked flights (they were on sale), then booked a venue (destination wedding/elopement).

Ordered a dress.

Took diamond to a jeweller to make a ring.

I know when he picks it up he still wants to “pop the question” but with the security that I will definitely say yes given I’ve paid the venue deposit sealed

 

We consider ourselves “unofficially engaged” as we aren’t really telling anyone our plans until the ring is in place.

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