Post # 1
I’ve been a lurker on the boards for a while now. I recently got engaged to the love of my life!
Instead of a formal proposal, we just came to a mutual decision that we want to get married. No ring, no surprise, or anything. We then proceeded to look at venues and booked one that we LOVE for next year. I know that my Fiance will do all the pomp and circumstance with a ring soon, but I feel like it’s more of a formality than a necessity….especially considering the fact that all of our close friends and family already know. I’m still overflowing with excitement and happiness knowing that I get to marry my best friend in 10 short months!!! My friends don’t understand this at all lol!
Did anyone else get engaged without a formal proposal? Please share 🙂
Post # 2
Yup! Just like you, we both came to a mutual decision with the blessing of our parents, and then planned engagement related things together. This is mainly because a proposal on the knee is not really part of our culture.
Post # 3
We made the decision to get married, picked out a ring together, and then told people that were engaged. If you’ve agreed get married, then you’re engaged. It doesn’t have anything to do with him being down on one knee or presenting you with a ring.
Congratulations on your engagement, and happy planning!
Post # 4
I completely agree with you! Unfortunately I feel like some people don’t take it seriously because I don’t have a ring yet. I’m too excited to care though :).
Post # 5
Us too! We’ve been together since we were teenagers and just made the decision one day that our relationship was ready for that next step. We are currently in the process of saving up for my dream ring that we picked together and have begun planning our October 2018 wedding! Fiance sometimes feels guilty, like I missed out on the surprise of it all (I definitely don’t feel this way) so I agreed to let him formally ‘propose’ when our ring finally comes in.
Post # 6
I did have a proposal, but I know a bunch of couples who just came to a decision to get married. We had that discussion, and decided we were ready for marriage, but my fiance wanted there to be a ring and a formal proposal. Honestly, it would have been easier if we didn’t have the proposal – due to my work schedule, there are certain times of year that are much more convenient to get married, but I didn’t want to look at venues or get started planning until the “official” proposal happened, making time more limited. I feel like having the discussion then just being engaged is very practical 🙂 Unless you’re feeling like you’re really missing something without the proposal, go forward, plan, enjoy being engaged!
Post # 7
Honestly that’s the main reason why we decided to move forward with just a discussion. We knew we wanted to get married next year, and venues get booked really quickly. There are some things that I’m going to do after the “proposal” like shop for a dress, but all of the major things have already been discussed and decided on. 😁😁
Post # 8
Hahahaha! My friends feel like a missed out on something too. They think the surprise is ruined, yada yada. Honestly I still don’t know when I’ll get my ring or what it’ll look like. That’s still something to look forward to even though I know it’s coming. I’m guessing it’ll happen around the holidays. I’m so excited now that I think an actual “proposal” might send me completely over the edge.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Congrats on your engagement!
I got engaged without a proposal or a ring. Like you, we talked about it and came to a mutual decision to get married. It was an easy, stress free, wait free, and conflict free situation. We just decided we were ready and started planning.
Some of my friends thought the lack of traditional proposal and ring were strange, but they just have it ingrained in their heads how engagements are “supposed” to happen. It doesn’t bother us in the least. We’re just excited to get married!
Post # 10
Yay!! Congratulations!! That is exactly how mine went 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
Post # 11
My SO is so frustrating lol. We had a discussion and decided we want to get married but my SO does not officially consider us engaged until after he proposes with the ring. I just want to start telling everyone I’M ENGAGED but I can’t because by his definition we aren’t. UGH. So I’m waiting but I just want to start planning already!
Congratulations to you both! I hope you guys enjoy this exciting time in your life 😀
Post # 12
His “definition” is wrong.
Post # 13
Yes…we’ve definitely done things our own way.
Discussed getting married.
Bought a diamond.
Booked flights (they were on sale), then booked a venue (destination wedding/elopement).
Ordered a dress.
Took diamond to a jeweller to make a ring.
I know when he picks it up he still wants to “pop the question” but with the security that I will definitely say yes given I’ve paid the venue deposit
We consider ourselves “unofficially engaged” as we aren’t really telling anyone our plans until the ring is in place.
Post # 14
I don’t think his definition is necessarily wrong.
Thank you!! I consider people engaged once they actively start planning a wedding. It doesn’t sound like you are quite at that stage yet, but hopefully it’ll happen soon! Has he hinted at a time frame?