(Closed) Did anyone else get into a financial hole right after you got married?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 61
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Scarlett11 :  I highly recommend mint.com.  You can connect all of your bank accounts, credit cards, loans, etc to it.  Then you can setup a budget.  It will even alert you when you go over your budget.  Lastly, it has a tracker that will show you how much of your debt you are paying off each month and let you set up a goal to pay-by date.

Post # 62
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Agree on returning the pup. Another thing you have to consider ( which we didn’t) is doggy daycare costs. Our pup couldn’t be left alone for hours and daycare is $15-$28 a DAY! It adds up. We had a lot of surprise med bills too.

Post # 63
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

we have probably spent thousands on him alone the last few months. SHots, kennel cough, tick problems, grooming, special food…. Love him to death, but they are not cheap!

Post # 64
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

r06387 :  Joining the 4+ pages of people telling you not to get that dog. The first year of dog ownership comes out to about $1,300–and that’s assuming a spectacularly healthy, low-maintenance adult animal. You are unemployed, in debt and can’t even pay for the roof over your own head. Eat that deposit and donate the supplies you’ve already bought to a shelter. A pet is a luxury–and a responsibility–you cannot afford right now.

Were you networking and job hunting while in school? Most universities offer career counseling services to recent graduates and alumni, so hit that up ASAP. It blows my mind that you could be working for your in-laws this actual minute and you’re not. Get on that. You need a paycheck, and your husband obviously can’t support both fo you if he’s considering taking out a loan to make rent ffs. You graduated two months ago, time to let go of the idea of having your first adult job in your favorite field of study and start looking for a way to put food on the table. 

When you’re back on your feet financially, look at adopting from a shelter or rescue–which will cost about 15-20% of what that breeder is currently charging you. 

Post # 65
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Here’s the thing that really troubles me (aside from the puppy which you absolutely should NOT bring home as advised) you laid out all the reasons both of you are on the verge of broke yet you still seem to be living the same lifestyle as before. That has got to change immediately. If your husband is contemplating a loan to pay a basic expense like rent then under the circumstances his income is extremely insufficient. You’ve also stated there are two maxed out credit cards, however, you didn’t state the balances for either. Credit card spending limits can get pretty high. Out of five cards I have one thats $25k and another $20k (which keep $0 balances) so if I maxed out just those two I’d be in a pretty fat hole financially. Also maxed out cards have negative effects on your credit report and score which impact your ability to get apersonal loan. Sucky thing about credit is you can get all you want when your credit is great but when you actually need it you’ll likely get denied. Or you’ll end up with a really low loan amount and sky high interest thats only digging your hole deeper in the long run. This is a terrible idea and should not be an option. Cut up all your cards!

1.) Please don’t bring the puppy into your home. You can’t justify affording a pet with excuses. 2.) Change your lifestyle and spending habits to save. Cook vs. going out to eat, Netflix vs. movies etc.,  At least 90% of your money should now be focused on basic living expenses and reducing debt. 3.) I’ve explained why a personal loan is not wise in your situation above. I use an app called Personal Capital which is similar to Mint but I find it more detailed and helpful. Start researching ways to budget and keep track of where every dollar goes. 4.) Please use this as a learning experience. It seems you two were headed to trouble before your marriage by having a wedding you couldn’t really afford and didn’t budget properly for at all based on what you wrote. There is no reason you should have needed to use gifts to help pay for some of those costs. Marriage is hard enough but financial stress can kick it into the crapper faster than a lot of other issues. 5.) Good luck and best wishes. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 66
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Sounds like you can’t afford a puppy right now and as a dog owner I know how disappointing that is but get yourself right first and then revisit the idea later on.  Sell or return as much of the puppy stuff as you can.  

Paying off the credit card debt should be your #1 priority right now.  The interest rates are so high on those things it’s insane. Use mint.com to make a budget and get everything down to the bare minimum until you pay off those credit cards. No eating out, cheap/free entertainment, cancel cable, look into cheaper phone plans.  If you love dogs, dog sitting or walking can help you pick up some extra cash.  

Stick to your budget and once you’re done paying off the credit card debt, you should try to keep to the same amount of spending/savings , except now you can save for something else.  Build up an emergency fund of at least 3 months expenses. If you’re not already saving for retirement, set up an IRA for each of you and work towards contributing the max ($5,500 per year each).  THEN you can start saving for fun stuff- vacations, puppies, houses etc.  

I know it’s hard. Fiance and I never went into any debt but we’re having a hard time saving until we took a long hard look at how much we were spending and made a strict budget.  We saved up an emergency fund, maxed out our retirement accounts and are just now getting to the part where we can save for wants instead of needs.  It’s a bit of a rude awakening to realize you’re not living within your means but once you have it figured out , you’ll be golden!

Edit: another note about credit cards.  Once you pay them off, you can still use them responsibly to build credit and earn cash back but ONLY CHARGE UP TO WHAT YOU HAVE IN CASH.  Pay off the entire balance every month. Credit cards can be very helpful if used in a responsible way, but if you don’t think you have the will power you should cut them up.

Post # 67
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We just got a puppy for $1200 and then we dropped an additional $500 on supplies (car crate, kennel, food and water bowls, toys, beds) before we even took him home. Once we got him, we spent another $300 or so on shots and vet appointments, food, treats, more toys … And then there’s the cost of doggy daycare and training classes when I go back to work (I’m a teacher, so off in the summer.)

Puppies are SO expensive. It’s better to be out $300 than out an unexpected grand. 

Post # 68
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I can’t really chime in anything different than other PP’s have already done regarding budgeting and websites to help and how you should really work on changing your lifestyle.

I will absolutely reiterate one thing, as a dog owner, lover, and volunteer: DO NOT GET THAT DOG RIGHT NOW. I don’t care if you already have food and supplies. Think about if something even remotely small happens and you’re unable to pay for it. That animal may be suffering because you were too selfish to let it go to another home that would be able to better afford and care for it.

Post # 69
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Also, I have drawn up a document before explaining to my friends how our very Dave Ramsey monthly budget works with an example Excel file attached. If you’d like me to email that to you so you can get ideas, send me a private message with your email address. That goes for anyone, not just the OP!

Post # 70
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

1. Do not get the dog

2. Do not get another loan

3. Take job with in-laws

4. Get a 2nd job waiting tables

5. Pay off your debt

 

Post # 71
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

1) Look into some budgeting tools.  I love to spend money on luxuries and can be frivilous!  I personally use Mint.com to understand where the money I spend from my own checking account goes and where money from Darling Husband and I’s joint checking account goes.  After watching that for a couple weeks I could already see ways to better spend and budget money.  You can link up all of your accounts (credit cards, checking account, loans, etc.) to Mint and it automatically updates when you log in.  I really enjoy it.  I also know others who have liked Dave Ramsey’s stuff, especially for paying off debt. 

2) I highly recommend working towards an emergency fund.  Contirbute to this until you have at least 6 month’s worth of expenses saved.  You guys need to plan ahead.  You guys did not plan ahead very well when you planned your wedding and moving in together.  This will be a learning curve and may put stress on your relationship.  Try to take it in stride and remain as positive as possible!

3) You cannot afford the puppy and getting it right now would be very irresponsible.  I spend an average of $125/month on my two cats and anytime they need to go to the vet it is easily $500 depending on the situation.  I understand that you really want the puppy and may even have some supplies, but it sounds like you do not have the funds to deal with a personal emergency right now, let alone an emergency with a new dog.

4) Get a job!  Even if it is at a retail store….figure out how to start working at least 40 hours a week, even if it is through a bunch of different jobs.  I understand your newly out of college and probably want a good full time position, but you need money and you need it now.  Professional jobs often take months to aquire.  You can likely get a retail job, waitress position, etc. in the matter of a couple weeks if you try hard enough. 

Post # 72
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Considering the only other posts in the beginning of the thread from the OP were laughing off her situation and then not a peep afterwards tells me that she is still definitely going to get that puppy.

πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘

OP, my brand new puppy had all kinds of issues when we took him home (kennel cough which developed into a mild case of pneumonia, allergies to food, etc. and there is literally NO WAY to predict what will happen to your puppy when you take them home). We spent well over $2,000 on vet bills alone within the first two months of taking him home. I know EVERYONE else has literally told you the same thing, that puppies come with inevitably big expenses, but you don’t seem to think your situation is as dire as it is. 

Take the advice on this thread and live within your means. You can get a puppy when you’re back on your feet.

Post # 75
Member
8244 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

r06387 :  this is why it’s important to be complete in the information you give people when you ask for financial advice. $8k is definitely better than $30k, but it’s still a LOT of money and with interest it’s growing. I have lost track of how many people have come here and given their situation, disliked the advice they get, and then come back and say “well, actually my situation is more like ___”. Well of COURSE that would change the advice. But in your case it doesn’t, I’m glad you aren’t getting the dog but everything else PP have said is good advice. If you have the option to work for ILs DO IT. What are you waiting for? Especially since you say debt stresses you out (which I understand, it would stress me too). If you’re serious about reducing the debt and saving money you need to make a hard shift in your lifestyle. No app or budgeting tool can magically make that happen for you. It’s all basic addition and subtraction.  

The topic ‘Did anyone else get into a financial hole right after you got married?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors