(Closed) Did anyone else get into a financial hole right after you got married?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 91
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

LilliV :  hahhahaa I was only talking about myself and I also would never spend 30k on a wedding. That’s ridiculous.

Post # 92
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

i am in a similar situation. We recently got married then moved to another state for my job (I also just graduated) but dh has not found a job yet (he had one that he refused, long story). Anyway we are pretty much out of savings, my cc are close to max (I had to use them to go to job interviews) dh luckily does not have any ccs. I have a lot more debt then you, trust me. I just tell myself that this shall too pass. You can’t do much until both of you guys are working. Once dh gets a job the priority wills be to pay back my mom, pay off ccs, put money back in er funds, save money for future and pay off our student loans.

Post # 94
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

$8k is still a LOT of debt, espc when you dont have a job. 

Dont delude yourself

Post # 95
Member
330 posts
Helper bee

r06387 :  being a responsible pet owner is so much more than having supplies on hand. Puppies need a round of shots every month for the first few months and they need to be spayed / neutered at six months – this will add up to hundreds of dollars in the first few months. 

What will you do if your puppy gets into something that he shouldn’t have? My brothers dog swallowed a pair of earrings as a puppy = $400 and that was at the regular vet. If you end up at an emergency vet after hours of your regular vet, you’re looking at an unexpected bill that will be double the cost of a regular vet bill. 

Post # 96
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

r06387 :  I came into marriage with a lot of student loan debt, Darling Husband and I both had car loans and very minimal credit card balances. We were lucky to come out of the wedding with no debt due to contributions from parents & strict budgeting and planning. We took the same mindset when deciding to tackle our other debt…aside from the parent contributions of course.

Many people here have mentioned Dave Ramsey’s program, I too highly recommend it. From budgeting tools to “snowballing” your debt (google that and you’ll get a lot of tools that’ll help you set it up to attack them efficiently).

I felt like the process would take us years! But once we got rolling last Nov, accounting for every single dollar we spent, budgeting a month in advance (you don’t change the pattern if you’re looking backwards), we started finding so many areas we could save and plowed through it! We paid off ALL of our $55k in debt by April. That’s 6 months – and during the holidays! It is such a freeing feeling. Yes, we had 2 incomes but our debt was significantly higher than what you’ve mentioned, you can easily do it if you both are truly on board and stay focused! 

PM me if you have any questions along the way. Good luck! 

Post # 97
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

onepeople101 :  My point is that unexpected situations arise. Not typically on that scale but vet emergencies easily add up.

Regardless, monthly care expenses for the dog would be money not spent on their debt.

I never said anyone was rude for not spending 15k so I’m not sure where you got that from. However, I would say you’re entirely wrong about people being more sympathetic to animals over people. Until you’ve heard the situations in shelters, seen slaughter houses, read about species devastated by man’s practices…I would say humans win by a long shot for getting more compassion.

The fact the OP was more concerned with losing 300 over doing what’s best for a living being (as far as being in a home that is financially stable) is a testament to where compassion commonly lies.

Post # 98
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Oh lordy.  OP, it is very obvious that you are going in blind with this financial thing, so it is time to educate yourself.  You are also making a ton of assumptions like “I’ll get a job by the end of the month”.  You know what?  My husband was let go from his job in mid April and SURPRISE!  He still does not have a job despite sending out dozens upon dozens of applications every week.  So please don’t assume you will magically have a job at the end of the month.

Budgeting is actually easier than you are making it.  It’s all about living below your means.  Tracking what comes in and tracking what goes out.  Like others have said, Dave Ramsey’s programs are a great way to get control of your money.  He is all about giving every dollar a “name”.  Basically you tell every dollar where it is going to go.  That way you don’t feel out of control of your financial situation.

Cut EVERYTHING you don’t need.  That includes the puppy.  Right now you cannot give a puppy all that it needs and to assume that you will “make it work” is insane and cruel to the animal you want to adopt.  Cut vacations, cut coffee shops, cut dinners out, cable…EVERYTHING.

Debt is never good.  Even student loans which many people say are “good debt”…they can be crushing.  Obviously you took out a loan for your wedding which is one of the dumbest financial mistakes you can make.  I’m not trying to be harsh here, but you need a reality check.  The WORST thing you can do is take out more debt to “take care” of your situation.

Your role now is to get a job ANYWHERE to help contribute to the finances of your household.  Target, Starbucks, a grocery store, waitressing…whatever you can find.  Anything additional coming in will help.  You probably don’t want a job in retail or in a restaurant situation but frankly you have no choice because you have dug yourself into this hole.

Post # 99
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

r06387 :  It didn’t happen to us, but that’s because we were already living together a year prior to getting married. We were in a lot of debt before. Please, don’t take the puppy. I don’t have any advice other than learn to realize it’s between eating out or living on the street at this point. Cook at home, movie in? Try to maximize you’re savings. You will both get back on you’re feet.

ETA: Let me just point out, if you are trying to hide the elephant in the room you are never going to over come this. You’ve already identified a spending issue, so you both need to sit down and talk about spending and what OK and what’s not.

Post # 100
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We had lived together for about a year and a half before our wedding, both having student loan debt, and I wasn’t working at the time. Shortly after the wedding (which was 99% funded by my parents) we moved abroad. His company didn’t pay for the move since it was a requested transfer and not an offered transfer, and only paid for his flight. My visa, the moving expenses, my flight, etc were all out of pocket. We essentially had nothing by the time we were done and had found a place to live. 

It’s been almost two years since we moved. I’m 100% debt free (we paid off the last of my student loans over a year ago, yay!) and we are actively saving for a house. In less than five years we’ll have over £30,000 for a downpayment. And this is with neither of us having a high paying job (he’s a translator, I’m doing website work for a small business).

Budgeting is one of the most important life skills you can have. We don’t go out to eat for months at a time. I cook all our meals from scratch (partly because it’s cheaper and partly because of dietary necessity) and we rarely drink. To us, luxury is getting a pint of Ben and Jerry’s when it goes on sale for half price. Because our goals are to not have debt and to be able to afford a house within ten years, and the UK housing market isn’t cheap.

Y’all need to have a sit down, come-to-Jesus moment where you work out a monthly budget (bonus points for including weekly meal plans that you STICK TO when you’re grocery shopping).

Post # 101
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

r06387 :  you’re considering working with your IL? Girl you BEST work with your in laws. 

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