(Closed) Did anyone else have a REALLY one sided wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mandypop:  My Fiance family lives on the other side of the world. We are probably going to do some kind of web/telecast thing so they can see but the actual ceremony is going to be pretty lopsided.

Post # 4
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are experiencing that right now.   There will be very few from his side, maybe 8 people.   I once saw a sign or read something about the joining of families, choose a seat, not a side or something a little nicer than that.  

I hadn’t even thought about the two sides at the church…shoot, need a plan.

Post # 5
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My wedding is the same way but my side is the one with no people. I only have a few family members that my family speaks to and some of them are not even coming. All in all I have 6 family members attending right now there are only 4 left to rsvp and we invited 125 people. All of his family is coming. I don’t know how this makes me feel. I guess I wish I had more family (or just decent family lol) and more friends but really most of the time I don’t care. It was weird for the wedding shower and stuff since I had no one but I think it will be fine on the wedding day. The only thing I am worried about is people trying to sit on the groom’s side and leaving my side empty, I want people spread out.

Post # 6
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

our ceremony is next weekend and my man in having a really hard time with how lop sided it is going to be. We sent invitations to all of his brothers, his mom, and several of his cousins, but non of them are comming, we have some mutual friends in town that are comming, but thats it for him. I only have my dad and step mom other than in town friends, but it is still difficult with so many people living so far away

Post # 7
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

yep, my fi will have about 90 people there, i will have about 5…but thats because ive moved to mexico to be with him and my friends cant afford to travel london – mexico for a wedding.

but my parents, my sis and 2 best friends are coming – and thats most important to me. the only thing i did ask of my fi was that i didnt want a 300 person wedding where i actually didnt recognise people – everyone coming ive met a fair few times

Post # 8
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ours will be pretty one-sided we think — Fiance has been married before, we’re getting married in my hometown, I’m inviting more people, etc. He’s okay with it though (because of those reasons). We made sure his best friends were all in the wedding so they would be there, and his immediate family will all be on hand. We’re having as small a wedding as possible, so I’m hoping it doesn’t appear too awkward, but I had already planned on doing the “don’t pick a side” thing. 

Post # 9
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ours was VERY one sided! It was one table of my husband’s family (and family friends) and six of mine!! We invited more of his people, but they didn’t come.

Post # 10
576 posts
Busy bee

Yes, we are also lopsided! From the very beginning I wanted a small wedding and requested we invite 100 people total (50 for him, 50 for me). I stuck to my guns and invited 50 people and had 37 rsvp yes. He invited…drumroll please….135 and had almost 80 rsvp yes. It bothers me a little bit that he let his side of the guest list get so out of control, and he did say that I could invite more to even it out, but I don’t want to spend anymore money. 

I’m not worried about it. We have a ton of mutual friends (that technically are his invites as he met them before I did), so we’re just going to ask them to sit on “my” side during the ceremony.

Post # 11
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OP we experienced the exact same thing you did.

We had a destination wedding and everyone was excited originally. In the end, though, it was only most of my family and friends that came. Only 1 of DH’s friends (and the kids) came. DH’s other groomsman couldn’t make it. His mother and step-dad were there… but all the other people from his side of the family who bugged me for invitations before I even had them made never even RSVPed.

I feel sad for him, but Darling Husband is a tough guy and he told me that he expected it anyway. He generally keeps them at arm’s length. His family lets him down very often so he said he wasn’t too disappointed. The only people he truly wanted there are deceased. =(

Post # 12
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ours will be one-sided, none of my Fiance’s family will even be invited to the wedding when it happens!

Post # 13
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Kind-of… we ended up filling in with friends but as far as his family goes… he only has his immediate family (as they don’t speak to anyone extended)… and his father passed away suddenly 3 month before the wedding… so his family consisted of his mom and sister.

It happens, not all my family could come because I’m from Canada and I live in NZ and we got  married in NZ.

I wouldn’t worry too much. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I cant answer any of those question for you but I can say I will be going through the same experience you are.

My FH literally just has no family I could seat his entire family at 1 table while mine will take up probably 10-12 tables.  I am really hoping this wont be a big deal – his parents have a lot of friends they plan on inviting but who knows how the numbers will work out.  We have considered having a sign at the ceremony something along the lines of”as two families are joining today we ask that you do not pick sides and sit where you please” – however, I am being really traditional with the ceremony so I am still on the fence – I’ve got LOTS of time to think though ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Let us know how it goes.  I am sure no one will notice and you will have an amazing day with the people who made the effort to be there !

Post # 15
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I have about 60-75 family members in the immediate area, SO only has 25ish total and we’re not inviting first cousins from either side (they’re all under 16) so that cuts his number in half. But he does have more friends than I do so we’ll say that it’ll even out in the end. 

As long as your Fiance isn’t super upset or anything (obviously he’s disappointed regardless), I would make the best of it. 

Post # 16
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Mine will be one-sided too. mostly my side…

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