(Closed) Did anyone else offer up their own diamond???

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

I offered up my great-grandmothers diamon ring.  My Fiance told me that he wouldn’t propose until he could afford the ‘ring of my dreams.’  I’m not really sure what he thought this ring was supposed to look like but he had it set in his head that this is what he had to get.  I finally convinced him that the only ring of my dreams what what ever ring he put on my finger.  This still didn’t change the fact that he couldn’t afford a ring.  I had offered this ring many other times but he turned it down but once he saw that I wanted him and not a ring, he consented to have my the stone reset.  We’ve ordered the setting and we’re actually going today to see it in person and get the whole process rolling.

Post # 4
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

it’s very sweet to use a family diamond. it’s not about the money, it’s about carrying on a piece from someone important to you. you seem to be overly concerned with him spending money on you, and that’s not what engagement rings are about.

Post # 5
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know a few girls who have family diamonds! 

Is money the reason behind him being only “pretty sure”?

PS my mom was the same way, though!

I’d solve the two-stone issue by having a 3-stone ring. Your SO could buy the matching third stone and the setting!

Post # 6
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am wearing Mr. Shef’s Great Grandmothers diamons but in my own setting. I like the idea of having a part of his family and the meaning behind it. I am also excited because we not only have HIS great grandmothers diamond in my gorgeous ring, we are coincedentlly getting married on MY great grandmothers wedding anniversary. Both have passed (mine more recently) and I think it is the perfect way to honor both of them… even if the wedding date choice was totaly be accident. lol. Plus, Mr. Shef isn’t the richest college student in the world so had he not been able to get his grandmothers diamond I know my ring would not be nearly as pretty as it is. It saved him money that he could put toward the setting and I LOVE it!

Post # 7
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I don’t have that option, unfortunately, but if it were, I would definitely offer him my family’s diamond.  I think it would be a great way to start our new family.  I also really like the idea someone mentioned of a three-stone setting that includes both grandmothers’ diamonds, with him buying the last diamond!

Post # 8
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My FI’s sister offered up her family diamond to her Fiance to use in her ring; I think it’s incredibly sweet and she wasn’t “shortchanged”–that way, there is more money left to spend on other things!!! 🙂  

Post # 9
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just curious, why is $15K the magical number?  And what is a “decent sized diamond”?

Post # 10
Member
759 posts
Busy bee

So funny that this post came up!  I actually was thinking of posting the same question. 

I’ve been hashing out this same situation for a few months now. Mom mom passed away 5 years ago and left me all her jewely, including two diamond rings, one which is her “upgrade” wedding ring.  I’ve been SERIOUSLY thinking about offering it up to my Boyfriend or Best Friend to use as my engagement ring cause I know it will be a while before he could afford to buy me one. 

I didn’t know if that would make me seem embarrassingly desperate, but I know (well at least I’m pretty sure) he’s holding off til he can buy one and with his current job situation it would be a couple of years. But I think it would be awesome to wear my mama’s ring and I wouldn’t have any problems with the fact that he didn’t spend money to buy the diamond (I would change the band).  To me it’s the whole fact that he wants to marry me is what counts.  🙂

Post # 12
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wait . . . your boyfriend is living in your house and is not paying ANY bills?

Post # 13
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’ve mentioned that he’s not ready yet. Don’t rush him, just enjoy you’re time together and when he finally proposes, it will be a surprise. You don’t want to think you bullied him into proposing before he was actually ready. Now he knows there are options, let him choose what to do, when to do it and how to do it. When I was waiting, I was so anxious but a part of me knew I wouldn’t get a proposal for a year or two because of money. I even offered to use my promise ring as an engagement ring. He said no, that he wanted to buy me a brand new ring. Again I didn’t think it would happen for a long time, but he surprised me earlier this year.

Post # 14
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Wow, it sounds like you are re-evaluating important things in the relationship and maybe at this point marriage shouldn’t be on the table? Or maybe after some adjustments? The way to handle finances could often be a dealbreaker and even more so if you feel like he’s not contributing —> not treating you like you should..

Post # 15
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@EleanorRigby: Yeah I agree about the household bills thing: red flag much? If the relationship is dysfunctional like that, I don’t think the OP should be fishing for an e-ring at this point in time.

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