Post # 1
I haven’t seen my pro pics yet (maybe that’s why) but I’ve been feeling ‘appearance regret’ after the wedding! I know it’s silly, especially since I loved everything about the day! It was beautiful and I married the love of my life surrounded by all of my best friends and family! I just keep looking at the guest pictures and ruminating on how I could have looked better. Mainly, it was my hair. It was humid (which rarely happens in San Diego!) and my hair fell flat and frizzed a bit. I had always pictured my wedding day hair with romantic curles! I’ve also second guessed my choice in dress, thinking that it wasn’t as flattering, or classic as I originally thought. I think I’m just feeling the post-wedding blues. Has anyone else experienced this?
Post # 3
Yes, I did. I have struggled with dress regret, hairstyle regret, photography regret, timeline regret, didn’t-ever-take-off-the-veil-the-entire-night regret, and several other types of regret, including, at times, baguettes-in-my-e-ring regret. 🙂
It’s VERY hard to live in a world where so many images tell us that perfection is the standard, but, even after investing so much time, effort, and money into having the “perfect” wedding, ours didn’t quite live up to our vision.
I still struggle with some of these periodically, but it was fairly consuming in the days, weeks and months immediately after my wedding. It does get better with time, as you have the chance to begin to put everything into perspective.
Post # 4
I think you’re absolutely right about the expectation of perfection! I fantasize about our wedding being blogged on SMP or Snippet and Ink, and keep thinking, “Oh no! My hair might ruin it!” So ridiculous!
Post # 5
Anyone else? Please share!
Post # 6
@eimajleigh: YES I DID!
I thought for a whole week (prior to seeing the photos) that I was sure I’d have major muffin top armpit going on since I had my dress taken in 1″ at the top.
I felt I didn’t need that 1″ but I let the seamstresses convince me. The dress was so tight I had to take it off before dinner! I really wanted to keep that gown on but it was impossible to sit at the table. I was kicking myself majorly.
Alas the pictures were amazing and no muffin top like I envisioned.
Post # 7
I totally did! I did my own hair and makeup unexpectedly. I love the overall effect of what I did but I know I would have looked more polished had I gotten it done by a professional. Also, I changed into a reception dress that didn’t fit right. It bunched and made a pooch in about 15 of my pictures. But you can’t focus on those things! I saw your pics and you look nothing but lovely. Plus, pro pics make all the difference in the world. I’m sure you’ll feel much better aftet you see those. 🙂
Post # 8
A little bit; I immediately wondered if I should or shouldn’t have worn a beaded belt with my dress, but the belt actually came out really well in the pictures, so I think I made the right choice after all! Professional photographs make all the difference!
Post # 9
@eimajleigh: yes!!! Hair and makeup regret, big time!!! The hair flattened out so that the extensions went straight and my own hair stayed curly… Ended up doing an impromptu updo for reception!! So much for my $90 hairdo 🙁 my makeup totally melted off my nose and chin, leaving big gaps, but luckily you can’t tell in pics!!
Post # 10
Hi Bees! I’m glad that I read this post, as I’m struggling til this day with wedding regret. My husband and I got married May 2012. It’s going on 8 mos, and I feel that I still think about my regrets everyday. I’ve been trying to get over it, but it still “haunts” me. I didn’t like my make-up, nor did I treat myself like a “Queen or Princess”. I shouldn’t have picked the make up artist I chose. There was another lady who was AWESOME, but I didnt go with her as she was pretty expensive (I’m the frugal type). I regret til this day with ALL of my heart not going with the more expensive MUA. I deserved better, but my actions did otherwise. I really need to forgive myself and move forward. I didn’t care for my flowers either. They were okay, but could have been a lot better. My coordinators were nice too, but I wish I would have gone with a more experienced coodinator. My dress was “cute” but could have been better. My photographer was just okay as well. I liked my shoes, the DJ was amazing, the food was delicious, and the venue was very nice. I cut a lot of corners by using family and friends for “professional” services (coordinators, flowers, and make up), when I shouldn’t have. If I could do it all over, I would certainly spend the extra money on all things professional. I was told not to “skimp”, but I didn’t listen. I wanted to elope, but the hubby wasn’t having it. That made me very unhappy for several months. I basically had to “roll with it”. I’m nervous of how I’ll feel when we go to a wedding, knowing ours could have been a lot better than what I allowed it to be. Thanks so much for reading, and allowing me to vent!
Post # 11
I felt this way about my makeup but really, in the end, it doesn’t really matter too much because, like you said, you are marrying the love of your life.
I think the reason we experience regret is because we are told the lie that this is your one day to look pretty/have everything you want, etc. That’s crazy! There are plenty of other opportunities to buy beautiful dresses even ballgowns if you want to go to re-enactment events. If you don’t like some of your photos you can get them re-shot. Didn’t have enough time to taste your cake? Have it re-made.
I know it’s not exactly the same but it makes me mad that so many of us are sold the idea that “your wedding day is the best day of your life so it’s all downhill from there”!
Post # 12
All the time…and it is almost a year later. There is just so much build up/hype on how the bride “should” look…I just feel like I didn’t meet the expectation.
Post # 13
I have major regret over my make up – i kinda liked it at the time, but then after seeing the pictures… UGH! i look better without make up.
Post # 14
@eimajleigh: I forgot to mention…you were stunning on your wedding day! I remember so looking forward to your pro pics, I think we started posting on the same boards alot around the same time last year and I remember seeing your dress and having the WORST dress regret…seriously talked about your gown all the time and the “what if”
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
This is silly. We need to appreciate our wedding day for what it is and stop agonizing about it “being perfect” or if we were “princesses”. You made every decision about the wedding, so now accept them and enjoy your big day!!