(Closed) Did anyone feel sad about changing their last name?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yeah, I’m confused as to what to do with my name.

On one hand, mine is a very long complicated name and his is short and easy to spell. But on the other hand, I love when people ask about my name. Then there is the flow of things. I hate how my first name sounds with his last, and the two hypenated sound even worse! Fiance wants me to have his last name, he loves the idea of calling me Mrs. B. I told him he can always call me that as a pet name!

Long story short, I guess I’m still on the fence.

Post # 33
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

At first I was and wanted to combine our names (fiance was fine with it.) However, after the way my family has behaved towards my fiance and I, I’m glad to get rid of the name.

Post # 34
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m excited about taking his last name, but it’s bittersweet. I don’t LOVE my last name (I never thought it was pretty or anything), but it’s mine and I love my family. I’ve been [firstname] [lastname] for over 20 years. I’ve been saying my future new name to myself, and it just sounds so strange.

There’s also the fact that Fiance really doesn’t care for that side of his family. He has his mother’s name, and I can say I’m not excited about sharing my name with her. In the end, though, it’s just a name. We can take it and put our own meaning to it.

Post # 35
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
@agaldesign:  I totally get where you’re coming from OP, but I think you can definitely still be a feminist and take your husband’s name. I really like my last name, and I think I’ll probably keep it, but my maiden name is actually hyphenated, so inconveniences with credit card statements and airline check ins have always been a part of my day-to-day, but I also love that it is genuinely unique. I’m also reconciled to the fact that my kids probably won’t have my last name, but that won’t make them any less my kids. Just as you taking your husband’s name won’t change the fact that you are your parent’s daughter. Good luck and congrats!

Post # 36
Member
11535 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m another bee who took her maiden name as her new middle name, and I go by all three names. I love that this solution allowed me to maintain clear continuity of my identity, while still allowing me to take my DH’s last name.

Post # 37
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

On one hand, I’m really really excited to have a normal last name! His last name is a very typical last name, and I kinda like that. My last name is…not normal. Whenever I say it, I normally get the response of “…really? Wait, can you spell that?” It’s a common word, but NOT a common name. I’m looking forward to not getting made fun of any more.

On the other, it is a unique name and even though I was made fun of a lot for it, it was a good way to make jokes. I did enjoy it, and a part of me will miss it. 

Post # 38
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Carondelet House

I know this question isn’t for me, being that I will be keeping my name, but the sadness of leaving it behind was a large part of my decision.  I always knew that I couldn’t give it up– taking another name would feel like I was abandoning my family, which I couldn’t handle.  My parents took a lot of time when naming me to make sure that my name “flowed”, and I wouldn’t want to undo all of that hard work.  In addition, I *hate* the Mr. & Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName thing, and this allows me to avoid it altogether…plus, did I mention I’m lazy? 😉

Post # 39
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I absolutely hate my last name, plus it has no connection to my family – it’s my step-grandfather’s last name, my dad was forced to change his when his mother remarried so we’re not actually related to anyone with that name. I’ve always been keen to get rid of it.

My mum is freaking out though. I think she sees the last name change as some sort of symbolic thing where she’s “losing her little girl” (her words). I don’t have a middle name so I have considered becoming Kate (mum’s maiden name) (FI’s surname) but that might be too much effort.

Post # 40
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I do sometimes feel a little sad about not being Miss D_ (especially now there is the question of do i graduate a Miss or a Mrs? Which do I WANT on my degree?) but the blow is significantly softened by the fact Fiance is also going to take MY name (Mr and Mrs D_ S_).

Post # 41
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

my last name is THE name everyone called me in college. it was like i didnt have a first name. now, most people call me by my first name, but i still totally identify with the last name only.

i’m an only child and none of my cousins have my last name, so i was already the last person carrying on the name.

growing up, i always said i would keep my last name. but, now that i’m getting married, i plan to change it. maybe its bc i found the right person and want our names to match in some sentimental way? i also do like his last name.

when we first got engaged, my fiance said he’d take my last name instead. but we sort of let that idea fizzle out.

its totally weird and i imagine once i actually have to change it, that will be even weirder, but i’m ok with it.

Post # 42
Member
4269 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Kind of…. my dad’s side is from South Africa so my last name was really unique and has an interesting history to it. People would ask me about my name and I would then tell them about how my great great grandfather was a leader of the Boers and there is a city named after him. His statue is also in this city…. (some of you may have guessed by now if you are familiar with the country and it history).

Post # 43
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I feel similar! I love my last name and my family is so damn prideful about it And I can’t help but feel it too. My grandfather changed it from its original Polish spelling because he always wanted to be more Americanized, even though he was born here. It’s easy to spell, not common at all and goes lovely with my first name. I always said that if I married someone with a horrid last name, I wouldn’t change it, but oddly enough, I’m marrying a man with a very proper English name that I can’t help but be fond of.

 

my sister didn’t change her last name and that just seems to put more pressure on the topic. My dad just asked me yesterday ‘you’re not changing your name, right?’ I don’t particularly want to, but Fiance is so excited for me to. We shall see though. Im not completely convinced yet.

Post # 44
Member
5866 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I feel exactly that way, so I’m not changing it 😀

Post # 45
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s okay to choose not to change your name if you really don’t want to. I’m not changing my name either. It was never even an option in my view. My mom didn’t change her name back in the old days, and I’ve always liked my unusual last name. I am also proud of the professional accomplishments I’ve had with my maiden name.  

My Fiance took a while to accept the idea, but he has come around. He is also okay with my plan to hyphenate our children’s names (which I know is even more unusual). 

 

Post # 46
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Fiance is the one changing his name 🙂 He has two separate surnames so he’s dropping one and replacing it with mine, while I keep my name and add the name he keeps to it. So we’ll have the same name but neither of us has to change our identity too much to do it.

I’m VERY happy with this arrangement. As the only person to carry on my fathers name I really didn’t want to lose it. The warm tingles I get when I think of my Fiance taking my name are an added bonus.

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