Post # 1
Did anyone get kind of a strange reaction when telling friends you were pregnant??
I just felt like after I told my friends there were some awkward pauses… like crickets. I only have really one other friend that is married and a few that are engaged so I suspected to have some different responses but I feel like my friends have kind of distanced themselves from me since finding out. Like when they ask (if they ask) about my pregnancy there is an awkwardness??? Did anyone else experience this?
Post # 3
@nonoame:This is exactly what I’m afraid of. After the wedding all my friends said “you’re waiting to have kids, right?” And I maybe lied…
Post # 4
My close friends were supportive. I got some weird reactions because I never was much of a kid person.
Post # 5
I remember when my good friend first became pregnant years ago. She was literally the first. Although, I was extremely happy for her, I could in no way relate to what she was going through. So to ask about the pregnancy was something I didn’t even know where to start. I was in a completely different point in my life. She was married and pregnant and I was in Grad School working on clinicals not even remotely thinking about marriage let alone children. I’m sure your friends are happy for you, but they just don’t know how to relate to ask about it. Don’t take it personally.
Post # 6
Most people have been really excited, but I’ve had a few weird reactions.
(1) One of my close friends from back east never replied to my email where I shared the news that I’m pregnant. It’s been hard keeping in touch with my friends, since we moved across the country 2 years ago, but I would still consider her a very close friend, and I am beyond offended that she hasn’t said a thing yet. I’m assuming that she probably just misplaced the email, but now I don’t even know how to start that conversation in case she didn’t.
(2) One of my friend’s husbands hasn’t said a peep to us about the baby, and basically has not acknowledged that I’m pregnant. Whenever I bring up anything baby related around him, he changes the subject immediately, in a very obvious non-subtle kind of way. I don’t know what his deal is, but at this point I’ve taken the hint, and I just don’t mention the baby if he’s around.
It really sucks when friends are anything other than hugely supportive about a pregnancy Babies can definitely change the dynamics of a friendship, but I still sincerely hope that most of your friends are reacting in a more appropriate manner.
Post # 7
Yeah i do understand that ppl are in different stages and sometimes its hard to relate, but it still makes me sad. Partially bc I too moved accross the country after marrying and my friendships are so important to me and I dont want to lose them. I also know for a fact that I most likely wont have a baby shower or anything like that and thats just a bit of a bummer too. This next part might sound extremely selfish.. but espeically when I know when my friends do get to the pregnant stage they’ll expect the whole 9 yards; and I might feel kinda jipped (embarressing admiting that!)
Post # 8
Hey – first of all, CONGRATS!
I honestly believe that some people are jealous. I know that’s something people always say on this site and in real life, “oh they’re just jealous”, but I think it really could be true in this case.
I remember having a hard time being all bubbly and happy for friends who had just bought a house, years ago before we bought ours. I didn’t even want to go see it at first! I *was* happy for them, but I was very jealous (I hope I hid my feelings better than your friends!). I know it’s not the same thing, but they COULD just be jealous.
Post # 9
We aren’t TTC yet, but almost all of my friends have outright TOLD me not to have kids for a few years…
Our plan is to start trying next summer. I guess I can understand the apprehension because we are young (22/23), but (maybe its our region–living in the south) so many people I went to high school with have graduated college recently and are getting engaged/married.
I mentioned something to one of my friends about the future and she said “How many kids do you want?” I said “2 or 3 and I’m hoping to have the first one in about 2 years.” She responded with “You are absolutely insane for wanting to plan every detail of your life.” What?!
I really hope I get positive reactions, but honestly some people just aren’t to that point in their lives and its hard for them to understand/relate.
And Congrats!! 🙂
Post # 10
One friend said she wasn’t excited to come for Thanksgiving (we have a huge party at our house for brunch) b/c there will be too many babies there and now her mom will be putting even more pressure on her. Umm… thanks for being excited for me and wanting to be around my baby? I get her issue, but when a friend tells you she’s preggo, you can at least try to act a little excited!
Post # 11
I hope I don’t come across as not excited in this situation but I’m so afraid to offend! I don’t know anything about pregnancy or child development stages so I probably ask stupid questions in an effort to make conversation about something I don’t know anything about.
Usually I just stick to asking about names and due dates but if someone is like “Oh my names are a secret!” Then it’s crickets. But if they do share, it’s fun to be like “Oh wow, I love that name, is it a family name?” Or something like that.
Maybe they just don’t know what to say because they don’t know anything about babies. :/
Post # 12
My experience was a little different. I got pregnant when I was 19 and in college. I will never forget the reaction of this one girl. I told her I was pregnant, she looked at me with disgust, and kind of sneered and said, “I’m sorry”. I told her I wasn’t, and that was it. I never talked to her again. We had been rather close before that, it was kind of a shock.
Now, my friends keep asking me when I’m gonna catch up to them in the baby making department! I have to keep reminding them that I started the “Mommy Club” in our circle, and I’m quite content waiting a few more years.