(Closed) Did anyone get kind of a strange reaction when telling friends??

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@nonoame:This is exactly what I’m afraid of. After the wedding all my friends said “you’re waiting to have kids, right?” And I maybe lied…

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My close friends were supportive. I got some weird reactions because I never was much of a kid person.

Post # 5
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I remember when my good friend first became pregnant years ago.  She was literally the first.  Although, I was extremely happy for her, I could in no way relate to what she was going through.  So to ask about the pregnancy was something I didn’t even know where to start.  I was in a completely different point in my life.  She was married and pregnant and I was in Grad School working on clinicals not even remotely thinking about marriage let alone children.  I’m sure your friends are happy for you, but they just don’t know how to relate to ask about it.  Don’t take it personally.

Post # 6
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Most people have been really excited, but I’ve had a few weird reactions. 
(1) One of my close friends from back east never replied to my email where I shared the news that I’m pregnant.  It’s been hard keeping in touch with my friends, since we moved across the country 2 years ago, but I would still consider her a very close friend, and I am beyond offended that she hasn’t said a thing yet.  I’m assuming that she probably just misplaced the email, but now I don’t even know how to start that conversation in case she didn’t. 

(2) One of my friend’s husbands hasn’t said a peep to us about the baby, and basically has not acknowledged that I’m pregnant.  Whenever I bring up anything baby related around him, he changes the subject immediately, in a very obvious non-subtle kind of way.  I don’t know what his deal is, but at this point I’ve taken the hint, and I just don’t mention the baby if he’s around. 

It really sucks when friends are anything other than hugely supportive about a pregnancy  Babies can definitely change the dynamics of a friendship, but I still sincerely hope that most of your friends are reacting in a more appropriate manner. 

Post # 8
Member
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Hey – first of all, CONGRATS!

I honestly believe that some people are jealous.  I know that’s something people always say on this site and in real life, “oh they’re just jealous”, but I think it really could be true in this case.

I remember having a hard time being all bubbly and happy for friends who had just bought a house, years ago before we bought ours.  I didn’t even want to go see it at first!  I *was* happy for them, but I was very jealous (I hope I hid my feelings better than your friends!).  I know it’s not the same thing, but they COULD just be jealous.

Post # 9
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We aren’t TTC yet, but almost all of my friends have outright TOLD me not to have kids for a few years…

Our plan is to start trying next summer.  I guess I can understand the apprehension because we are young (22/23), but (maybe its our region–living in the south) so many people I went to high school with have graduated college recently and are getting engaged/married.

I mentioned something to one of my friends about the future and she said “How many kids do you want?” I said “2 or 3 and I’m hoping to have the first one in about 2 years.”  She responded with “You are absolutely insane for wanting to plan every detail of your life.” What?!

I really hope I get positive reactions, but honestly some people just aren’t to that point in their lives and its hard for them to understand/relate.

And Congrats!! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

One friend said she wasn’t excited to come for Thanksgiving (we have a huge party at our house for brunch) b/c there will be too many babies there and now her mom will be putting even more pressure on her. Umm… thanks for being excited for me and wanting to be around my baby? I get her issue, but when a friend tells you she’s preggo, you can at least try to act a little excited!

Post # 11
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I hope I don’t come across as not excited in this situation but I’m so afraid to offend! I don’t know anything about pregnancy or child development stages so I probably ask stupid questions in an effort to make conversation about something I don’t know anything about.

Usually I just stick to asking about names and due dates but if someone is like “Oh my names are a secret!” Then it’s crickets. But if they do share, it’s fun to be like “Oh wow, I love that name, is it a family name?” Or something like that.

Maybe they just don’t know what to say because they don’t know anything about babies. :/

Post # 12
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My experience was a little different. I got pregnant when I was 19 and in college. I will never forget the reaction of this one girl. I told her I was pregnant, she looked at me with disgust, and kind of sneered and said, “I’m sorry”. I told her I wasn’t, and that was it. I never talked to her again. We had been rather close before that, it was kind of a shock.

Now, my friends keep asking me when I’m gonna catch up to them in the baby making department! I have to keep reminding them that I started the “Mommy Club” in our circle, and I’m quite content waiting a few more years.

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