(Closed) Did anyone give gifts and cash if you didn’t have a shower?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@not eggplant:  I think it depends on age.  My aunt likes to give everyone $25 in a card.   I personally would never give less $200.  

 

And, don’t fry me on this one.  But I have noticed in life, people that are well off, tend to give less.  

Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

These are probably wedding presents and I wouldnt expect more. It is possible a few people thought to send an additional present since there was no shower, but I wouldnt count on it.

What is average to give varies greatly between region and families. What you would consider “normal” may not be what your family considers “normal”. 

 

Post # 5
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t be surprised if they gave more at the wedding, in a card, but wouldn’t be offended if they didn’t.

Post # 6
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@not eggplant:  I’m shocked that you’re shocked, frankly.

There is no customary “per person” gift amount. People give what they can afford and what they would like to give. Certainly I could never afford to give $100/pp for me and my husband for the 5 weddings we’re invited to this summer.

Post # 7
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Are these people coming to your wedding as well?  They may very well be intending to bring an additional cash gift but I wouldn’t expect it.  If they’re not coming I tend to only send about 50-75 to a couple as its kind of all “profit” for lack of a better term. 

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree it depends on your family. I’m hoping mine can get there (DW, for my half anyways) and maybe help with some stuff (yay, free labour) but as far as gifts I’m not even sure what I’d want, if anything. Birthday/Christmas gifts for us are usually $20-$50 from each household, I’m not expecting more though I’ve received around $100 gifts on rare occasions if there’s something big I want/need.

Post # 10
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@not eggplant:  I’m sorry if I came off as too critical!! I think I’m self-conscious about not being able to afford the kinds of gifts that I often hear people on the boards describe as the minimum they would expect to give or receive at a wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ack.  I find these kinds of posts so off-putting.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with those gifts.  I actually thought you were potentially going to say “I’m worried they will spend more money on me at the wedding…that’s a lot.”  But, I should know better here on the Bee. 

Expecting a minimum of $400 from one family is obscene. 

Post # 12
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

They’re still gifts, regardless of the price spent.

Post # 13
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think I’m self-conscious about not being able to afford the kinds of gifts that I often hear people on the boards describe as the minimum they would expect to give or receive at a wedding.


I feel this same way!  Usually Fiance and I together give about $100…we just can’t afford more unfortunately.  Sometimes I’ll find a gift on their registry about that amount and then go and find it somewhere else for cheaper; I feel a bit bad but that’s really what we can afford.  I agree with others that these are most likely wedding gifts and not shower gifts.

Post # 14
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I assume when people invite me to their wedding, they want me there, not fishing for my gift… Maybe I’m wrong?  Any way, I don’t believe in the covering one’s plate theory.  If having a wedding is about raising money, sell tickets. 

Post # 15
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Each family ( unit) is going to give one gift. I don’t believe its customary to expect a gift or specified amount from each member of the unit etc.

When you make a registry you want to make sure you have a decent range in regards to price!  I’m not sure of your age but, most weddings I go to are 20 somethings and the registry is full of 20-60 dollar items, that are perfect for struggling young students etc. And they are thrilled! The big guns are reserved for probably older and very close people ( Read: parents, grandparents) .

Also your social circle is going to play a big role. 

The topic ‘Did anyone give gifts and cash if you didn’t have a shower?’ is closed to new replies.

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