(Closed) Did anyone have a "reception" as opposed to the typical party?

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

 I totally agree – some things are just really out of hand. We are in the very early stages of planning, but friends have mentioned things we could add that are just so unnecessary it’s ridiculous. (I won’t name anything for sake of upsetting anyone).

Post # 3
47421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

A “reception” is simply receiving your guests after the ceremony. it can take many forms.

We had what you call a “reception” for my first wedding. The ceremony was at 2 pm, reception with light refreshments from 2;30 to 5:00 pm. Mt parents were both alcoholics and there was no way I wanted an evening reception, by which time they would both be drunk and out of control.

Keep in mind that with the overwhelming presence that socail media has on our lives, you are not often going to read about cake and punch receptions. There is so much pressure to outdo each other, keep up with the ____’s, etc that people with lesser budgets and lesser receptions may feel pressure to simply not post.

People also did not used to travel across country for old friend’s, old college buddy’s, and old co-worker’s weddings. You may find they are reluctant to do so for a glass of punch and a slice of cake, mid-afternoon.

Post # 4
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

View original reply
hickoryhills :  If those things are not what you want then you could possibly have your wedding earlier in the day and be over by 6pm.  You could have an afternoon tea wedding, brunch or an early cocktail style wedding. I know that may not be typical of your fiance’s family.  I would have wedding and style that I wanted. I’ve been to cake and punch weddings they have been earlier in the day and over by a certain time. I’ve also been to an appetizer style wedding it was also over by a certain time with no dancing but they had cake. I enjoyed myself at each wedding. 

Post # 5
344 posts
Helper bee

I’m not an expert on wedding history but it seems like the super-rich always had these huge parties, and then over time, everyone else got the idea that they could/should too (in case that sounds elitist or something, I’m definitely in the latter group!). And at least in the US, over time everything has gotten super commercialized, weddings and babies included.

For me personally, I like the ‘big’ receptions, although the food doesn’t have to be fancy (I prefer buffets because you always get more) and I would be fine without alcohol, although I know that’s an unpopular opinion. Basically if I am going to a wedding, I’m gearing up for an all-day event. I would go to a cake and punch reception, but I wouldn’t stay long. And I wouldn’t travel a long way for one either.

Post # 6
314 posts
Helper bee

My wedding was tiny (8 people in total) and following the cermeony we had a champagne toast and afternoon tea in a B&B. The day then continued with other (non-hardcore party) things, but equally, it could have finished after the afternoon tea!  

Post # 7
72 posts
Worker bee

If literally 90% of our guests weren’t traveling, I would do cake and punch in a heartbeat. It seems like fun, and probably an even better way to get everyone up and talking to each other than a seated meal (even with a cocktail hour). 

Our plan is a compromise between a cake and punch and a modern long party. Morning ceremony, short snack break (not a real cocktail hour), simple seated lunch with toasts, and an afternoon of lawn games. For the partying crowd, we’ll have an after party at a bar literally six feet away from the venue and serve wine, beer, and pizza. Simple, fun, low budget. 

Post # 8
106 posts
Blushing bee

We had a small DIY afternoon tea wedding with 45 guests. We didn’t want the big party reception like you described. Our ceremony was at 1:15 and we served lunch immediately after. We had a tea bar and pastry bar. We didn’t have dancing or alcohol but no one seemed to mind. I thought it was perfect for us. 

Post # 10
4061 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We didn’t have the big party… We had our ceremony in a field then all drove to town and went to dinner. We had 60 guests and our favorite restaurant which is usually closed in the winter opened just for us so we had the whole place to ourselves. We ate and mingled. No dancing, no speeches, no cake cutting, no garter tossing, no receiving line. It was perfect. 

Post # 11
108 posts
Blushing bee

Different traditions have different customs. If you want to have a simple reception, do it! But there’s no need to put down those cultures or people that like to have a party or celebration after a marriage. We should all do whatever we like without feeling pressure of what others like or do.

Post # 12
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
bluseye :  Nicely put.


Post # 13
1644 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

Sort of. We just had a very small dessert reception.  Had cake and a couple other desserts with drinks so that people had a choice and then people peaced out.  And that suited us just fine. 

Post # 15
1239 posts
Bumble bee

You called all the extras “unnecessary crap”. A DJ is not crap. An expensive fresh flower bouquet is not crap. A 5 course meal is not crap. A carriage ride is not crap. Just because you don’t want to spend money on extras does not make it crap. You also implied that these things make weddings a “production” and not a reception. So yes you’re being very condescending. 

View original reply
hickoryhills :  

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