(Closed) Did anyone have a "reception" as opposed to the typical party?

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 16
370 posts
Helper bee

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hickoryhills :  I mean yeah, you kinda did, so I agree with PP. But no there’s nothing wrong with it – there’s just different kinds of receptions. Calling a 4-course-meal reception crap is rude to those who put one on. This is a wedding forum and everyone does things differently – with probably the majority of people here doing a modern, hours-long, alcohol-provided (though not always!), music-to-dance-to reception with seated or buffet-style dinner. It’s just what’s done nowadays, and while not everyone does it, a lot do, so to say a huge production, crap, unnecessary, isn’t very considerate of at least 50% of the people here who are doing it.

Post # 18
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Sounds lovely. But maybe compromise and provide a dinner to out of town guests that evening or the day before?

Post # 19
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

My sister had a very simple reception about 11 years ago! It was in the gymnasium of the church they were married in. We had table cloths, floral centerpieces, balloons, etc, but nothing over the top. No DJ. In fact, there wasn’t even any dancing! For food, there were mini sandwiches, fruit/veggie trays, and other simple appetizers like that.

While I am having a larger reception, I am having a small, intimate ceremony. Less than 20 people, very close family and friends only. No big production, just plain and simple “walk down the aisle and get married” kind of wedding. I didn’t want to feel like I was on display or putting on a show while I said my vows to the love of my life. The large reception is basically a compromise so that we don’t offend anyone. Not that it really matters, but you know how families can be. And while I do cringe every time I swipe the “wedding account” debit card…. I do genuinely enjoy planning a big fun party too!

I think weddings/receptions have become more about impressing people than anything else. “Look at my designer dress, look at my elaborate venue, look at the gourmet food I’m serving”… I mean, I’m guilty of having a big reception, so it’s not like I’m putting down people who throw a lot of money at theirs…. I just think sometimes we get too caught up in others’ expectations. It’s good to take a step back.

Post # 20
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

My parents married when I was 7, my sister was 1 and my brother was in her stomach, in a court house and then went to the local indian for curry and cake, my best friend spent in excess of 40k+ on her wedding and both are very memorable (I know I was 7 but I have fond memories of the day) and very special days to me. 

Do what you wanna do. We’re personally having a big huge all day event and it’s more so because we have lived abroad for 10 years and have two big families who love us dearly so we want to spend the day celebrating with them.

Everyone has their own reasons as to why their wedding is the way it is so just do you. 

Post # 21
7866 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Many people in the area I grew up had church weddings with cake and punch receptions in the church basement. There were very few big parties. They have become more popular, of course, but there is no reason that a cake and punch reception or light appetizers with cake and champagne is not acceptable. Just be careful that your wedding and reception don’t go over the dinner hour. Most people will not expect a full meal for a mid-afternoon wedding reception.

Post # 22
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I got married at a B&B with a small guest list (less than 30 people) and I really loved it! We got group shots with all the guests right after the ceremony, we had a piano player for the ceremony and cocktail hour so there was music while people ate apps and drank, and then were had dinner. There was no DJ (though we did play music during dinner) and no dancing. After dinner, those who wanted to could take a shuttle to a local pub where were drank and ate and there was a live band and dancing there. It was a fantastic night and I loved how relaxed and easy it all was. 

Post # 23
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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hickoryhills :  I agree 100% that weddings have gotten out of hand. If people can afford a big production, great! If not, they shouldn’t get so much sh*t about doing a more low key affair. I have a lunchtime wedding on a Sunday and got so many comments about how early it was. And about the fact it was on a Sunday! That was the only way I could provide all of the expected amenities without breaking the bank. My original wish was for a private ceremony and a restaurant reception which got shot down. 

Post # 24
2214 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Weddings have got our of hand. I was so careful to not get carried away with unnecessary expenses. 

We had a beautiful church wedding, wonderful food and alcohol.  Our decorations were just table flowers and candles. We did no DIY, no photoboth, our friend was the dj. It was wonderful. Some brides have to remind themselves , nobody notices your guest book or cares!!

Post # 25
1155 posts
Bumble bee

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dobby98 :  Well said. The use of the word “crap” was off putting, to say the least. 

Post # 26
490 posts
Helper bee

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whitecollarbee :  Same. We had what the OP might call an “over the top” reception, but we opted out of a plated lunch and did a buffet instead, with 1 signature mocktail, sparkling grape juice, and a soda bar instead of alcohol. I cared more about decor and music, anyway. And everyone said the food was so good that they didn’t care about the alcohol! (protip: the majority of our guests were family members who did not drink. Hence, instead of spending an obscene amount on alcohol at the reception for a few friends, we invited our friends up to a hotel room we booked for a friends-and-cousins-only-no-parents-allowed boozy after party! So much cheaper and more chill.

Post # 27
1400 posts
Bumble bee

We had a 1pm ceremony then straight to lunch and then lawn games and a bounce house for our party. We kicked the last stragglers out at 6pm, worked on some clean up and were in pj’s by 9.

I know various groups of friends went and after partied. We were invited, but decided to snuggle instead.

Post # 28
4034 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

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hickoryhills :  My wedding was incredibly unconventional, but our original plan was to have an intimate, immediate family only ceremony and reception in the same venue (that my aunt was going to get us for free). Then we had our wedding paid for by a TV show, but still ended up having an intimate brunch reception and that was that! Wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Post # 29
2618 posts
Sugar bee

Closing this thread now as it violates the TOS by criticizing other people’s choices. OP is welcome to re-word her post for some less critical responses, if she hasn’t gotten enough ideas yet.

The topic ‘Did anyone have a "reception" as opposed to the typical party?’ is closed to new replies.

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