(Closed) Did anyone have to talk their bf/hubby/FI into a simulant instead of real dimnd?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
2547 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My heart was originally set on a custom made ring, with a pink-champagne colored sapphire, set in yellow gold. But it never happened. I’m a little sad about it. But maybe one day in the future I wil get it for myself for my right hand.

Don;t get me wrong I love love love my ring. But I do think about the custom made one, every now and then.

Your boyfriend makes some good points. I can’t see the asha not clouding over time. I believe its a relatively new product so people may not have that experience due to lack of time, when it comes to clouding. That would probably be my main concern.

Post # 4
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Asha is such a new product, at this point nobody really knows how it’s going to stand the test of time. I’ll agree with you that at least it looks good off the bat (not as good as real diamond of course, but def comparable), but I wouldn’t feel comfortable being one of the “guinea pigs” of asha. Plenty of people on this board have bought it, so I’m more content to check back here in a few years time and see how things are going.

To answer your question, I did not have such a talk with my man, and he picked my ring himself, and I couldn’t have picked one better, honestly. He has good jodgment πŸ™‚

Post # 5
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t know anything about Asha. We have a moissanite and that does have a lifetime warranty from C&C I just know that Asha is like a beefed up version of CZ with a diamond coating. 

Whatever you choose, the important thing is communication. Mr. Tattoo was not at all convinced about moissanite when I first brought it up. It wasn’t because he thought anything else but a diamond wasn’t acceptable, it was because he grew up hearing “a diamond is forever.” “diamonds are a girls best friend.” “Two months salary is what you should spend on a diamond.” 

So naturally he was a  bit confused when his future fiancee was against the diamond industry. I gave him every single bit of info about moissanite. I told him it was it’s own gem found in a meteor (that peeked his nerd side) and that since it’s found in very small amounts, scientists were able to recreate in a lab. It’s the same chemical makeup as the rare mineral. I showed him photo after photo and review after review. The reviews on this site and on betterthandiamond.com is what did it for him. These were reviews from real brides and not the ones on the products websites. (My review is actually up on moissaniteco.com and signed as Miss Tattoo) I never really 100% trust reviews on a website because they could be made up you know? 

there was only ONE bad thing about moissanite that I found online. Apparently some guy ordered a ring and wasn’t impressed. He took some bad photos of it in the dark and tried to say it was yellow. But 1 guy out of hundreds of great reviews wasn’t going to stop me. 

Mr. Tattoo said when the ring came in, he was shocked at how much it sparkled. He said the first hour he had it, he just kept staring at it and playing with it in different light. 


Here is my review and photos: 



*I do think there are some bees on this board with Asha. I can’t think of any off the top of my head. There are more on here with moissanite though.” 

Post # 6
118 posts
Blushing bee

I have an asha and I love it! When my husband and I discussed rings we both agreed that we would prefer to go the non-diamond route. In all honesty it was mainly about the cost. Not that he couldn’t afford a real diamond, but because we’re both too practical for that. Why spend thousands on a diamond, if not tens of thousands of dollars, when you can buy something that looks just as good or even better for a fraction of the price? 

I did have to do a bit of convincing though because he was worried I was just trying to be agreeable and would secretly be disappointed. In the end he bought me a round asha center stone and had it set in a band with pave set diamonds and I love it!

As for how it looks, when he took it to the jeweler to have it set the guy hadn’t heard of it before and was very impressed. I’ve gotten tons of compliments on my ring and no one has ever asked me if it was real or not. I can’t tell any difference in color or brilliance between it and the diamonds next to it. I mentioned to my girlfriends recently that it wasn’t real once and they all asked to see it again – I’ve worn it for 2.5 years now and they never noticed.

In the 2.5 years I’ve had it it hasn’t gotten cloudy at all. It gets dirty just like the diamonds, but a quick cleaning and it’s sparkling like new again. I have no reason to think that it will cloud over time, but even if it did we could buy a new one over and over without even getting close to the price he would have spent on a diamond.

Have you tried taking him to look at emerald and asher cuts in person? Perhaps he might like them more if he saw them in real life. I think it’s important that he likes the ring too, but you’re the one who will be wearing it everyday so I think your opinion should be more of the deciding factor. As far as going with asha, just show him reviews online and try to reach out to his practical side. Betterthandiamond has a 40 day return policy so if he isn’t happy with the quality he could always return it. Hope that helps!

Post # 7
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think that since you are so involved in the process, he should be listening to what you want a little more. If emerald cut is your favorite, that’s the stone you should get to wear and look at every day!

Also, people who have them seem to LOVE Ashas. If he’s worried about problems with the stone, think about how incredibly easy it would be to replace a stone, should you have to down the road, versus a diamond.  

Think of the thousands of dollars you’d spend on a diamond. How many times would be able to replace an Asha before you spend more than you would on ONE diamond? A lot.

I am personally in the “Bride should get what she wants” camp.

Post # 8
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Also, how could he not love this?!:

Post # 9
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think I posted on one of your other threads. So, sorry to repeat. I have a moissanite. There was no problem convincing my Fiance to go that route as it saved him lots of money which is one of his favorite things (money and saving it). From what I understand of moissanite, rounds are the best way to go but I have seen other cuts and they are just as pretty! Also, you can order a loose stone and check it out to make sure it is what you want and that you do like the cut, etc. Moissanite (again, I don’t know about the asha) still come with a lifetime warrantee that covers the color and clarity from C&C. Hm, what else… My 1 carat sparkles and I love it! I do not regret going that route. It saved us money and I really did not want a diamond. Somehow, you need to convince your future Fiance that it needs to be something that you love and not necessarily all his taste. It can be done! πŸ™‚

Post # 10
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I went with moissy. Luckily, I didn’t really need to do too much convincing with my SO, he came on board pretty easily since he already knew diamonds were a scam and pretty much only wanted to buy one because he thought I wanted one. I wanted a 1ct or larger stone, but when I found out how much diamonds cost, I could not justify that much money on a piece of jewelry. I thought to myself “There must be a better way”. I went to Google, eventually found moissanite and it’s a dream come true! My moissanite is gorgeous and I couldn’t be happier with my decision! I agree with you, why pay more when you can have the same thing for a fraction of the cost?

To convince your SO, try talking about all the negatives of diamonds. Their prices are inflated artificially and their reputation is manufactured. Does he really want to spend thousands of dollars to buy into something like that? Diamonds are only so popular because of clever advertising, they are really not that great at all.  

Also, moissanite is even more sparkly than the clearest, most perfect cut diamond. That doesn’t sound like a cop out to me!

Ashas are long lasting CZs because of their coating, but they are still not going to last forever like diamond or moissanite will. Moissanite however will never fade or change colors and it is actually tougher and less likely to crack than a diamond. It will look just as gorgeous 100 years from now, so if he is concerned about longevity, moissy might work better.

So far only two people (besides myself and my SO) have seen my moissy, and both completely think it is a diamond. They didn’t doubt it for one second. Seriously, no one will be able to tell without special equipment.

Post # 11
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

This one’s kind of tough.

On the one hand, I can see his point: he worked and saved to get you this ring and yes, it may reflect badly on him if other people see the ring as “fake.” (yeah, that’s ultimately THEIR problem, but can be hard on a guy’s pride)

But at the same time, there are a couple things that strike me as being a little *too* concerned with “keeping up with the Joneses” sort of attitude, one being that round cuts are “the best” (they are the most common, classic, and the cut throws the most light, but at the same time, “best” just seems a little strange) and that it must be a real diamond and the concern over emerald and asschers looking “fake.” I mean, he seems to be hung up on seeing the ring as symbolic of his financial prowess or something.

Although I am not necessarily a fan of the whole, “It’s MY ring; it should be EXACTLY how I want it!” because I like the idea of a ring as a blend between the two people’s tastes, I do think that you shouldn’t have to wear a ring that you’re not crazy about and it doesn’t seem fair to me that he’s basically saying that he’s only interested in getting you a ring that makes HIM happy. I wonder if maybe you guys can start at ground zero and just get online and look at a bunch of different rings and talk about them together–there’s a lot of stuff out there besides just round halos and emeralds with baguettes.

If, however, you found an Asha ring that you really like, is there a way that he can get an independent jeweler to copy the ring with a real diamond to satisfy his interest? The diamond might have to be smaller, but you could get the design similar.

(btw–my ring was modeled after the Harry Winston ring you love, but with an asscher center stone instead of a emerald cut. My diamond is lab-grown (which is chemically the same as a diamond; just not from a mine), which we did in part for ethical reasons. Perhaps that’s a card you can throw out there for his consideration. FWIW, you can tell him no one has ever asked me if my ring is fake, asscher cut and all πŸ™‚

Post # 12
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t have to talk him into it. When he saw the price difference between moissanite and a dimaond he was on board. Ha ha, although first I showed him the moissanite ring I wanted and he was like, “1000 dollars?!!!!” And I was like, “This would be 5,000 if it was a diamond.” He had no idea.

Post # 13
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

But some family members I told were definitely confused and didn’t seem to approve (my superficial cousin, my gma.) I remember wearing it to a bridal shower and all my similiarly aged cousins’ jaws dropped when they saw my ring. I only told two of my cousins– one who thought it was awesome and one who actually held her 1.5 carat rock up against it to compare it.– hers was about $10.000 and look identical to mine. That made me smile.

Post # 14
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

it looks like asha stones are very reasonably priced. let’s say it did cloud one day, I bet it would take many years. maybe by then you could afford to replace it with a different stone.

I’m tired of people thinking that diamonds are the only thing an engagement ring should have and anything else is sub-par. an engagement ring and wedding ring should be whatever you want it to be!

Post # 15
38 posts

I have suggested moissanite to my boyfriend and he’s all for it. The way I see it, it looks like a diamond and only someone really experienced in jewelry would be able to tell – I certainly couldn’t tell. I’d rather save the money on the ring and use it for anything else like our house, vacation, furniture, etc… it just doesn’t make sense to me to spend thousands on a little rock that does nothing but sit on your finger, especially when you can get the same looking thing for much cheaper!

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