(Closed) Did anyone help pay for their engagement ring?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I actually paid for the whole thing upfront when we bought it together. We bought it during a sale, and I had all of the money in savings. We were both recently employed at the time and I got paid less frequently in larger chunks than he did, so I had savings and he didn’t. My ring was almost exactly 2 months of rent. We decided to split the cost of the ring, so he paid one of my months of rent in return.

Post # 4
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I guess I did.  It’s joint money anyway, so technically yes.  It got discussed because we had the marriage discussion, went shopping and talked about ring options (likes/dislikes/price), we picked one and bought it.  He still surprised me with the actual proposal.  There wasn’t a pride issue because it was our money, being spent towards our goals. 

Post # 5
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I wanted to, but he wouldn’t have it.  We’re doing a lot of non-traditional things for our wedding and this is just one he really wanted.  There are very few details of the wedding process that he feels strongly about, so I’m not going to fight him on the ones that are.

To help myself feel better I’m saving up money for the honeymoon as a surprise for him.

Post # 6
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

He bought the engagement ring (I had no idea he was going to propose) but we bought both wedding bands out of our joint account.  I’m not sure what’s normal on that as I’ve heard a number of couples who bought each other their band, where we just split them both even though my band was like 5 times as much as his.

Post # 7
Member
495 posts
Helper bee

If you can’t bring it up, maybe you need to rethink how you communicate. Is his “pride” really so fragile that an offer to give him some money for a huge expense will be hurtful? It’s hard to say how to interact with your SO if that’s the case.

As for us: We saw some rings I liked, and it was a conversation. I told him I would like a gemstone ring because it was more affordable, but that I might have an heirloom diamond if I asked around.

I said, “Are we going to take the cost out of our monthly split of expenses?” He said he wanted to cover it, which shocked me, but I also knew catering and stuff was going to come out of my account, so it seemed fair. (It was $295 for my engagement ring and both our wedding bands after the heirloom diamond was dug up, so possibly quite different from most people’s experiences. Ultimately, it’ll be paid for by our parents’ help with our wedding expenses, but I’d have kicked in any amount needed, and he knew that.)

Post # 8
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I  did.  We’re entering into a marriage in which we are equals and what’s mine is his/his is mine, so I had no issue doing so. HE was a little harder to convince, but I’m happy we did it.

Post # 9
Member
14444 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Our money was pretty much joined since we got engaged and completely joined after we got married, so even though I didnt technically pay for it.  I felt it was a joint purchase, espeically since I “loaned” (gave) him half the cost of the ring after he bought it for some of his investments.

Post # 10
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I didn’t help pay for mine, but I knew he wasn’t in the best financial situation so I didn’t look at any rings over $1500 and ended up falling in love with my heart shape ring which was around $1400 so it worked out. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, I didn’t even know he was going to propose…even if I did know he wouldn’t let me pay for it. (I usually don’t pay for anything when he is present).

Post # 12
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

I tried…but my FH is a tiny bit stubborn and even more traditional. It also didn’t cost an arm and a leg, although his rent is so inexpensive I guess technically is was 3 months worth!

Post # 13
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

he purchased the e-ring and band but I’m purchasing a wrap/enhancer for my e-ring today to keep it from turning around all the time….we tried to resize it to avoid an enhancer but since the band on my e-ring is so dainty and the stone is heavy, it turns regardless of resizing. *shrug* as mentioned before, it’s joint money

Post # 15
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

I was engaged previously, and I bought the ring because he was a totally broke student and I had a full-time job. It actually worked out very well because after we broke up, I traded the ring back to the jeweler for a pair of beautiful bird earrings (independent artist, she was happy to take the ring off my hands and cleanse/bless it so someone else could make it theirs).

Post # 16
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Well, it wasn’t bought outright, it’s on a specific credit card. But since we share a bank account, we basically both pay on it. I actually like it that way. I don’t see any need for him to pay for it all when it’s something that symbolizes our engagement.

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