- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
So here’s the situation. We have a HUGE family (~150 people with aunts, uncles, and 1st cousins, nothing more extended) so we decided to have a family only ceremony and dinner with a big dance for all our friends and family afterward (it’s common in our area). Future Mother-In-Law had asked at the beginning if FI’s old babysitters could attend. Fiance and I both vetoed, saying it was family only, but we’d be happy to invite them to the dance- Fiance didn’t even care if they were invited either way but I’m fine with doing it for Future Mother-In-Law. I thought that was settled.
A couple days ago I got an RSVP from an aunt and uncle (siblings, they aren’t a couple) and they each RSVPed yes for themselves, and each for a guest- we gave all singles a +1. I was surprised- they’ve never had a date since I’ve known them, they’re both divorced I believe, and Future Mother-In-Law guaranteed me they wouldn’t bring anyone. I mentioned it to Future Sister-In-Law, who is a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and she asked her mother… apparently aunt and uncle decided to invite the babysitting couple as their “plus ones”! The babysitters “REALLY want to see Fiance get married” apparently.
Well, I’m upset because I don’t care how much they want to see Fiance get married, we have TONS of friends that we want there but can’t be because of budget and capacity constraints. We specifically vetoed these people, they probably were aware of it, and they decided to invite themselves anyway- I have a feeling Future Mother-In-Law suggested it. And yes, I realize that I did offer the aunt and uncle a guest, so it’s not like they’re new guests or adding to the total… what bugs me is the principle of inviting themselves to a wedding!
Plus, our church has a capacity of 125 and we have 150 invited… not something that was intentional, but we would’ve had to cut some family guests (FI’s because there are guests attending that he hasn’t spoken to in years) and Future Mother-In-Law wouldn’t have been happy, so she assured me that this and that person wouldn’t come, these people wouldn’t bring guests, all these people are Out of Town anyway, etc… and she’s giving us some money so I was hoping it would work out. I realize I messed up in going so far over capacity. But suddenly she’s adding guests that we didn’t expect.
So I don’t know what to do. I feel like since I did allow the aunt and uncle to invite guests, I can’t really say much, but at the same time Future Mother-In-Law knows what’s going on and she knows Fiance and I vetoed these guests and why… so I sort of want to let them know I’m upset. If I say something she’ll be mad at me and if I don’t I’ll be mad at half of FI’s family so… it’s a lose-lose situation for me.
At least if someone had added an extra +1 without asking I could just tell them no… but now I feel like my own wedding is out of my control… this seems to be a frequent occurrence lately.