Post # 1
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
I’ve tried on dozens of dresses and I plan on trying on dozens more.
So far, there have been a handful of dresses that have been decent, where I’ve thought, “Yeah, I could wear this.” But none of them have blown me away.
I think the problem is that the type of dress that I want (simple, chiffon, flowy) doesn’t look good on my body. My body requires a more structured dress with a corset, and that’s just not me. But there have been a few that, with the correct alterations, will probably look pretty good.
I’m okay with the fact that I’m probably not ever going to find “the one” but I’ve hardly even gotten excited over anything I’ve tried on.
Has anyone out there settled for a dress that was “just fine” because you couldn’t find “the one?”
Post # 3
Here! I like my dress, but never during the search process did I feel in love with any dress. There were things I liked and things that made me say “Oh, that looks nice” but I never got…swept away, you know? I never felt like I was looking for “the one” so I wasn’t disapointed that I never found it. I ended up choosing my dress solely because I knew it looked good, my sister liked it on me, and it had a corset which meant no alterations other than a bustle, keeping everything well within my price range. In a way I settled because I kinda feel like if I’d held out and looked harder, maybe I would have found a dress I absolutely couldn’t live without and was more my ideal dress (aka v-neck, which looks good on me but is hard to find if you want quality and a low price) and still in my budget, but I was tired of looking and tired of thinking about it. In the end I’m happy with the dress I chose even if it wasn’t quite what I wanted. I know it’ll look good and I didn’t break my budget or my heart over a dress I couldn’t afford.
Post # 4
I hate to say it, but I did. I really like my dress, but it was the right price and the most flattering of the ones I tried on. I didn’t feel like trying even more dresses on, and had a feeling that with my budget I wouldn’t find “the dress”. Hopefully alterations will help a little.
I’d think about your priorities: if it’s more important to find “the dress” or to stick with a budget, or whatnot. It might also be helpful to talk to a seamstress when you’re trying dresses on, to see what alterations can do to help you get the dress you love to be more flattering. It really depends on what is most important to you. But if you’re not happy with a dress, I’d keep looking. I ended up being happy with my dress even though it isn’t “the dress”, and so I bought it and haven’t looked back, at least not too much anyway.
Post # 5
Don’t get me wrong, I love my dress BUT I didn’t have that “the one” moment. The dress I chose had lots of details I liked, looked good on me, my mom and sister loved it. so I took the plunge. I didn’t think I’d find anything more “perfect” in my price range and for 20% off, I went for it.
Its more sparkly than I thought I wanted, bigger train, more formal than I wanted. I went back to try it on again (after we orderd) when I went for a veil, I really did start to love it. I was in a different mind set. I think when you’re TRYING to find something, its harder for it to be “the one”. Plus it was exciting to see what I was going to wear for the big day.
Even our DOC asked me if I really loved my dress b/c I showed her a pic and didn’t get super excited about it. haha Everyone’s different. But you should definitely like it.
A lot of girls find that what they THINK they want, isn’t what looks good. Its hard to get those pictures out of your head. You have till May next year? keep looking! and don’t stress out about finding “the one” – just find something you feel pretty in 🙂
Post # 6
I think “the one” is a myth. There are hundreds of dresses out there–how is it possible that only ONE looks amazing on a person’s body? 🙂 That being said, I think at a certain point, you just need to stop looking and say, “This dress has all the qualities I want, and I’m happy with it.” That’s what I did–so I guess you could say it’s settling, because I didn’t get that overwhelming feeling of KNOWING it was my dress. But I don’t know if that would have happened with ANY other dress that I could have tried on.
I think it also depends on your personality. If you’re the type of person to be emotional and cry when you put on wedding dresses, then maybe you’re more likely to have that feeling of “This is the one!”. Me, on the other hand, I’m not a happy crier. I only cry when I’m angry, lol. And I’m also really really indecisive. So it would have been out of character for me to have a feeling of certainty that “This is my dress!” And true to form, I had plenty of weeks of dress regret 🙂 But I ended up happy with my choice (because I didn’t want to end up wasting the money/dress I had already spent). Do I kind of wish I had found another dress/kept looking? Yes, I do. But I think my dress will look good on me, and that’s enough for me at this point.
Post # 7
Okay—-so i def had “the dress moment,” i fell in love with my dress the moment i put it on, and i did NOT want to take it off! lol but
i went into it thinking, okay i want this certain type of dress, and at first i only looked at those dresses. i wasn’t having any luck, when by bestfriend said, Ms. Yellow Birdie, these dresses are pretty, but i think i know what you should try on. she searched the racks and found a dress, i put it on, and bam! MY DRESS! but i had to step outside what i thought i wanted in a wedding dress. s0o0o0o you should step outside of your comfort zone and try on different styles, who knows—maybe you only THINK you want a simple chiffon flowy dress! lol hope this helps!!!
Post # 8
I am with yellow birdie!
I thought I wanted an all satin dress with lots of beading in A-line (I did not want a princess dress with a long train) – However, I fell in love with a huge ball gown made of tons of tulle and tafetta with absolutely NO beading (aka a princess dress with a 5 FOOT train!). It is THE ONE and no other dresses compare. (I found the dress early so I got to keep looking to make sure it was the one)
If you having trouble finding something you love try on the other dresses and maybe you will fall in love!
Post # 9
I had the same problem where all the dresses I really loved were just completely wrong for my body. I would fliip through a magazine and find ten dresses that I would die to wear and then a minute later realize that they were all too fitted, too structured, blah. So in the end I made myself try on a lot of dresses that I didn’t love but would probably be good for my body type. And in the end, I don’t love my dress, but I really love the way my body looks in it. Plus it wasn’t very expensive. 🙂
Actually, my dress sounds like exactly what you are looking for. The three words I would use to describe it are simple, chiffon, flowy. It is David’s Bridal V9743. It is one that I saw a million times in pictures and was never really blown away but when I tried it on it was the most flattering thing I had tried on in a wedding dress. Have you tried this one out?
Post # 10
I’m glad you wrote this! I too tried on dozens of dresses and liked many of them. I chose one that I think is beautiful, flattering, affordable and appropriate for my venue. But I didn’t have that ‘knew as soon as I saw it’ ‘everyone burst into tears’ ‘totally meant to be’ moment that so many brides describe. I kept thinking maybe I was missing something.
First, I put a deposit on a dress and immediately started having second thoughts, so clearly that wasn’t it. Next, I tried on a bunch more dresses and narrowed it down to three. I held off deciding for a few days, then bought the dress that was most on my mind. I haven’t had any regrets about this one. Next time I see it, I hope it’s at least ‘strong like’ if not giddy love!
P.S. Fiance and I fell in love practically at first sight, so at least I got to feel that way about SOMETHING.
P.P.S. I also found that the dresses I imagined wearing (flowy chiffons) were NOT what looked best on me. I agree with others about scrapping preconceptions.
Post # 11
@ rachel leigh: I just finished saying that I discovered flowy chiffons are not for me. The only exception was the DB gown you chose. It’s so romantic and flowy yet more fitted and structured than most gowns of that type — a great compromise. And the train…stunning. Your photo doesn’t show all the gorgeous detail! This was one of my top pics. GREAT dress, and you wear it well. Congrats!
Post # 12
Love the dress I wore. And I don’t think I could’ve found one better for me. But I didn’t have that WOW moment either, at least, not the first time I tried it on… I guess it was more like: the more I wear it, the more I love it kinda thing.. So it worked out great!
Post # 13
I think it is so different for everyone. I’ve heard from a lot of friends that they just got stressed out and confused and nothing seemed like “THE DRESS”. I think the whole process can be overwhelming. I also think a lot of people like the idea of something without considering what works for them. Think back to dresses you’ve felt confident in and what makes you look and feel amazing. Rather than have it be about the dress, have it be about you and how you feel. Dont settle but be real to yourself too!
I was so worried I wasn’t going to find “THE DRESS”. I found as I looked through wedding mags that I didn’t see myself in any of the dresses. I finally came across 3 I liked (out of hundreds of pictures) and then after researching found out 2 were WAY out of my price range. Feeling like I only had one option I went to look at dresses with my mom and walked in the first store and saw the one remaining dress on a mannequin. I couldn’t believe it but I had to try it on. My mom was worried that I would hate it and be super disappointed so she made me try other options, but it was perfect, won’t need alterations or anything. I honestly feel like it was sheer luck for it to have turned out that way and I don’t think that there needs to be so much pressure on having “THE MOMENT”!
Post # 14
I got a “the one” feeling, but I don’t think that everyone HAS to get it. I wouldn’t stress yourself out too much over this. Find a dress that you love and looks great. Maybe it’s not the dress you thought you would pick, maybe it is. Whatever it ends up being – you’ll be a beautiful bride.
Post # 15
I fully expect to have this experience. I love J.Crew, but I do not have a J.Crew body, I am curvy and I have always had big boobs (and a bigger booty). Therefore, of course, I would love a simple sheath, or something that looks kind of um, Grecian, like the Queen in 400? You know…the impossible dress that ALMOST makes the model look a little chubby and out of proportion? The dress that you know is made for someone size 0, without boobs or hips? The one that actually just drapes gently off of your clavicle to the floor? The one you cannot wear a bra with, under any circumstances?
So I am doing the best for me, the best I can. I know that Maggie Sottero would prob work great, but it just isn’t my style…but I want the most flattering dress I can find.
So, I have decided to just tap into my alter ego. If I end up with a poofy dress with a corset, whatever. I’m going to have FUN! And look hot.
Post # 16
@ jadeblue: aww shucks! Thanks!