Post # 1
…and is totally overwhelmed by it?
I married into an Italian family and sometimes it just wears me thin and stressed. I come from the opposite kind of family that just keeps to ourselves. I’m not used to company barging over at all times or calling non stop or just the incessant ‘interest’ in us. I’m kind of a loner and I like privacy and having our own time to do nothing. And we have a child now so it’s become overkill. I love them but I just get overwhelmed. On the one hand it’s nice, that deep interest in family. On the other hand it gets to feel smothering at times. We try and set boundaries but it kind of goes unnoticed or ignored – and really it’s not my DH that gets bothered at all, just me. And then I start to look like the bad guy who doesn’t want his parents over. At 6 o’clock on a Sunday night at dinner and bedtime? No – I don’t want company then! Sigh…
Post # 2
LOL! I come from a large Samoan family (6 girls, 4 boys) which makes 10 children! Our family gatherings are loud, busy and overwhelming for my husband who is one of two children.
I was totally used to family coming over unannounced and staying until the early morning, attending 3 different family functions a weekend and helping out wherever possible even if you don’t personally know the family members. It has been a huge learning curve for my husband, and I applaud his effort and I applaud yours too!
I totally understand your frustration, especially the ‘looking like the bad guy’ problem – my husband got that all the time. Thats when it was MY responsibility to speak up and say we need everyone out at a certain time. Or we cant come, as we are tired/have plans. I love my family with my whole heart, but when I married my husband – he became my family.
I hope things get better for you bee! Communicate with your husband and remind him thar YOU are his family now.
Post # 3
My fiance has a very large Vietnamese family. We live out of state though so privacy isn’t too much of an issue currently. We will be moving there eventually but I do enjoy our visits when we see the family.
My fiancé has seven siblings alone. The cousins are endless…lol.
I deal with more stress from my small family.
Post # 4
I can relate. My family is really close and I felt like there was always people over when I was growing up. That was until I married DH who is Mexican. There is literally a baby shower, birthday, or random party EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND! It gets tiring when I want to just stay at home and not put on pants
Post # 5
My SO will be marrying into a BIG FAT BRAZILIAN family. There’s so many of us and we are exactly like the family in the movie hehehe
Post # 6
Not me, no. But Fiance is marrying into a Big Fat Canadian family. We added up my side of the family that needed to be invited to the wedding (close enough that we see them at least once a year and keep in touch regularly) and we reached 80 people. That left out the vast majority of my parents’ cousins and their families, who are probably offended that they aren’t invited, but we just can’t afford it!
Post # 7
Is this your family and are you called Debra?
Not helpful…but I hope you got a chuckle!!!
I do sympathise….I have the big fat italian family! I do try to put boundries in place but my family have a short attention span!! They need reminding every so often as they forget….
My husband is a saint!! everytime I tell him we have a family ‘party’ or my mum gives me the SHITS! He quotes Marie Barrone to me…..
‘it comes from love!!….’
another option to the random drop ins at 6pm….pre empt and call them and tell them you are going out…they won’t drop by if you are not at home. *wink wink*
Post # 8
I just rewatched that movie recently and the similarities between my family and the movie family are numerous/hilarious! Luckily I’m marrying someone of the same background and it’s relieving actually. I used to date white Americans that had small nonintrusive families…always having to explain so much and convince them that having family around a lot of the time is fun haha.
My Brother-In-Law is from the Czech Republic and from a very small family. He had to adjust quickly to our family dynamic but he is such a good sport.
Post # 9
not me but my fi. I have over 150 cousins. My mom is one of 14. She my mom had the smallest amount with 6 kids. My fi is one of two. But his dad is one of 9 but only 4 of his aunts/uncles had kids.