(Closed) Did anyone NOT do RSVPs?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Even though you are doing buffet style food you still need and approximate number of guests attending unless you’re going to go off of how many you invited and just pay for the waste if you have a lot of people not show up. 

Post # 3
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We are having a very small wedding with only 30 close friends & family. We arent doing the traditional mail back RSVPs but we are doing is just having them RSVP by email. I talk to all these people on a regular basis anyways. So we feel thats good enough. 

Post # 4
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

will seating be a complete free for all?

Post # 7
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

littlehatjones :  I think online RSVPs will be great for you! I just think you will end up paying a lot of money if by the off chance people don’t come and that would really suck. 

Post # 8
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I didnt do rsvp cards – we just put Darling Husband phone number on the invite and asked them to text if they were coming. Most people did that but also alot just told us verbally whether or not they were coming. Do either online or something like this – you do really need to know how many are going to come and it’s not difficult to do. 

Post # 9
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I got married in my in-laws house, and I didn’t do RSVP cards. I had a note on the informal invitation to RSVP by phone to me. The ones who didn’t call me also didn’t come, and we had a bunch of girls from my old job who wanted to come, and it balanced out fine. Ours was buffet style too. We had just enough leftovers to know that no one went hungry, without feeling that we wasted any money.

Even though the venue is big enough, I would still do table assignments. Many would like to skip the dreaded “searching for a seat” trauma I always feel at events without assigned tables. Those who want to will get up after eating and form new groups at the unoccupied tables.


Post # 10
47258 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Many a couple has been surprised by some of their invited guests who rsvp’d no. Even if you don’t care about seating, your venue will care about the numbers. There is a huge difference in the amount of food needed for 80 people vs 100 people.

You will also have unnecessaary tables setup, and need extra centerpieces and other decor that will go unused and make it appear that a lot of people chose not to attend.

Post # 11
7480 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

littlehatjones :  Even with a buffet, your venue will still want numbers. As PP mentioned, many people can be surprised by the number of declines they receive. Do you really want to be paying for extra meals?

I also hate open seating so I think that’s another great reason to do RSVPs.

Post # 12
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

For us, we just instructed guests call the Father of the Groom to RSVP. The wedding was mostly family, and he wanted a special job. Saved the hassle of waiting for RSVP cards.

Post # 13
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with a PP that personally I hate it when there is no direction as to where to sit. People will be worried that they shoudl save the good spots for ur immediate family, for instance. It’s stressful for guests IMO so I would at least do table assignments. 

Post # 14
4246 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Your venue will still need to know numbers.  They plan the buffet based on how many people are coming.  You are likely charged based on how many people are coming (per plate).  They will also set up tables based on numbers.  So…if you have 100 instead of 150, they would likely take down a couple tables so it doesn’t look so cluttered.  You also don’t want only a couple people at each table, it’s a lot more fun when people are sitting together and interracting.

If you don’t want to do traditional RSVP’s, you can do an online system.  However…some of your older relatives likely will not have a computer.  How will you accommodate that?  Also if you don’t have an actual card for an RSVP, it is more likely to be forgotten about it.  If you had a smaller guest list, say 20 people, it could work to have people phone you.  For anything over 100 that sounds like a pain in the butt.  I could see someone texting me whose number I don’t have saying “I’m coming to the wedding, can’t wait!” and me having to track down that number.  It seems to just add an extra step.  Again…if it’s an intimate wedding that would make sense, but honestly the RSVP cards are super easy.  Set your deadline a couple weeks before you need an actual head count so you have time to track people down.

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