(Closed) Did anyone NOT go overboard on Bridesmaid gifts?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it depends on your regiobud wedding budget and what you are asking of BMs. Is few months ago, I thought these were ridiculous gifts too, but I’ve found myself buying more and more. all of my BMs have been super helpful and since the wedding is Out of Town for all of them, they are going to be putting up quite a bit of $$ ($180 bm dress), so I wanted to try and “pay them back” some in gifts. However, I am really fortunate to have my parents funding the wedding, so this is one of my only major expenses. I surely would not have the money had I been paying for the wedding.

finally, only you know your BMs. Do you think they would expect a lot? Have they been to a lot of ritzy weddings. Hopefully you have awesome BMs that would be there for you no matter what so any gift is a nice one. Also, weddingbee tends to favor the extravagant, in that the people who post about Bm gifts are the ones who did something awesome, and people with more modest gifts tend to keep them to themselves.

Post # 4
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I once was in a wedding where it was clear she had raided some dollar store bin for random knick knacks that had nothing to do with any of us (I got some little sign that said how much I hated the outdoors — I don’t hate the outdoors). I wish she had just given us all a nice handwritten note about what it meant for her to have us be in her wedding, but the complete lack of thought was actually much worse.

However, it doesn’t have to be completely extravagant either. I’m all in favor of practical gifts, so I got my bridesmaids these awesome travel jewelry rolls and some nice robes (and I’m paying for their hair). My Maid/Matron of Honor gave us all gorgeous silver ball earrings that we wear all the time. As long as it’s thoughtful, I don’t think the price you spend matters as much.

Post # 5
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I wasn’t planning on spending a bunch of money on my Bridesmaid or Best Man, but after being in a friend’s wedding and not receiving much from her (especially since her budget is nearly 2x’s mine) it just feels like we spent all our money and time for her but she didn’t show a lot of appreciation. Not that I’m super into gifts, but the way the situation was handled in general makes it feel like what we’ve given wasn’t that appreciated. I will probably spent as much as my budget can handle. 

 

Post # 6
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsFutureG:  I had 3 bridemaids. One was my cousin and my aunt paid for her dress and alterations and stuff. The other two my mom purchased their dreas bc she watched some wedding show and one girl was crying bc she couldn’t afford the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. So, my mom felt it was her duty to pay for them. I purchased their shoes and jewelry, then gave them each a $30 gift. (I did put some thought into their gifts tho.)

 

For the groomsmen, I (my husband and I shared finances for years before getting married)  paid for all of their tuxes, and we gave the best man a bottle of liquor. 

 

However, I should note that we didnt have a bridal shower or ask the bridal party to help with wedding planning. So, an expensive gift wasn’t really warranted IMO. 

 

Post # 7
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I got them each a candle and a pashmina, they loved it. Compared to what I see on here most girls get a lot more! I felt bad at first but I knew it didn’t matter in the end.

Post # 8
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t think I went super overboard. My wedding was a Destination Wedding so I paid for their dresses and shoes since I didn’t want them spending more than they already were to attend, and I also got them each a scarf that I thought reflected their personal taste and a cute print from etsy. If it wasn’t a Destination Wedding I probably would have gotten them just the scarf and print.

The last wedding I was in we got cheap jewelry to wear the day of which I have never worn again, and I didn’t mind that at all considering it came with a heart felt note and a big hug!

Post # 10
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I plan to order pashminas they can wear for the wedding if it’s cold and a starfish and pearl necklace.  I will also plan to write a thank you note.

My expectations for the bridesmaids are modest because we are having a budget wedding.  They are encouraged to shop sales to find their dress (mismatched BMs) and I have let my Maid/Matron of Honor know I do not expect a shower or bachelorette since this is my second marriage.  I am letting them do their own hair and makeup and pick out their own shoes too.

Post # 11
Member
49 posts
Newbee

I didn’t. Mostly because I couldn’t think of anything they’d all want other than $$ or a giftcard and that’s kinda impersonal. I got them custom jewelry to wear to the wedding and a monogrammed pashmina and a nice card. I also paid for their nails and makeup. They all seemed happy and grateful for it.

Post # 12
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsFutureG:  I couldn’t afford the dresses either….my mom generously offered to pay that one herself. Have you already picked out a gift for them? If not, I would appreciate the bride paying for my room one night as opposed to another gift I probably really don’t need. 

 

Post # 13
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsFutureG:  I am spending over $200 each per girl for 6 girls. However, last year I was Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding that I spent a lot of money to be in and coordinated her shower and bachelorette and she gave us $1 KEYCHAINS as a thank you gift and no cards or anything. It stung a little. I dont need nor was I expecting a $100 gift but she could have put a bit more time and effort into showing her appreciation.

Post # 15
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m making necklaces for my BM’s, buying the ties for the groomsmen, and writing everyone thank you notes.  I won a Mary Kay makeover for them, too.  I might put together a cheapo little thank you bag for all of them as well with chapstick, nail polish, and some candy or something.  

If I could go the whole nine yards and get them monogrammed bathrobes, and buy all of their dresses for them, and get them a horse-drawn carriage complete with booze and Prince Charming, I would!

Post # 16
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think I’m going overboard. Earrings ($10 each at Kohl’s, paid for with Kohl’s cash), necklaces that I sourced/put together, and I think I’m going to DIY a tote for them. Maybe some other small stuff if I find something. Card/thank you letter. My expectations aren’t very high for them, because they all have busy lives and I don’t need any help with anything.

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