Post # 1
Hi ladies! I’m marrying a Hindu guy so if we do use a Rabbi, it’ll have to be someone super liberal. But I’m wondering if anyone else has used a secular officiant and just incorporated some Jewish traditions? My main concern is A. finding a Rabbi who is okay with our situation and won’t impose all of the traditions and B. I dont want to start my Saturday night wedding so late! We will have maybe 2 religious guests out of the whole bunch so if they want to come after sundown, I won’t be offended.
What do you guys think??
Post # 3
I’m Jewish and FI is Christian. I didn’t want two officiants that we wouldn’t know, so a friend will be doing it. We will incorporate a couple of traditions, though. Not sure what you should do, sorry!
Post # 4
@seevan07: That sounds like a good solution. We have a whoooole separate other Indian wedding so I’m not worried about incorporating any Hindu traditions. Just don’t want ALL the Jewish ones and dont want to start things at 8PM when most NYC venues kick people out by midnight
Post # 5
Be very careful to check state law if you’re considering having a friend officate! In many states, using a friend ordained online can invalidate the marriage. And you won’t necessarily know that the marriage is invalidated until and unless it is tested in court–e.g., on death, divorce, or bankruptcy–at which point it will be too late to fix the issue.
Interfaith Family can refer you to a rabbi or cantor who will marry an interfaith couple. Or you could look at a secular officiant who was willing to incorporate some Jewish customs.
Post # 6
@2dBride: Thanks! Good to know. I’ll probably use Interfaith unless my planner (whoever that will be) knows someone.
After I posted this, my mom let me know that it’s important to her that we have a Rabbi or Cantor so that’s that!
Post # 7
You could probably go see a reform rabbi, they usually support and officiate interfaith couples. Im not 100% sure about the “earlier Saturday wedding” though. A cantor can also marry you.
Post # 8
We used a cantor for our wedding. My husband is not Jewish but was 100% okay with us having a Jewish Wedding. Our cantor was not affiliated with a specific temple – she actually tutors kids in her home and at their summer camps to prepare them for their bar/bat mitzvahs. It was a perfect match!