Post # 1
My boyfriend’s best friend is a woman. It’s completely platonic and she is a friend of our relationship. When we first became serious, I was skeptical of male/female platonic relationships. But I tried to keep an open mind. We visited her in Jacksonville on a road trip because he wanted to introduce me to her as his girlfriend. After meeting her, I really like her. She’s a nice person and I can completely see that they are just friends. I have to admit that I did cross a boundary because I wanted to confirm my suspicions. He was sleeping one evening and I checked his cellphone. All of the messages were absolutely platonic and he was even asking her advice about what engagement ring he should pick for me and sent her screenshots of various rings. My suspicions were completely wrong. So, has anyone out there had a Best Woman in there wedding? He has guy friends but they aren’t his best friends, just guys he has a good time hanging out with on occasion. He’s known her for 10 years and they talk on the phone regularly. To be honest, I like her and would feel that it isn’t right to have just one of his guy friends stand in as the best man when clearly that’s not his best friend at all. I’m also thinking about wedding aesthetics. Like how it would look at the alter and what will my guests think? When I first found out his best friend is a woman, I confided in my mom and she said she totally believes men and women can be platonic friends. Maybe if anyone asks, she can straighten out those particular questioning guests. Has anyone had a best woman and what was your experience like? Thanks.
Post # 2
I didn’t personally but I went to a wedding where the groom had a Best Woman instead of a best man. Her dress matched the groomsmen’s ties/vests and she stood by him and I thought it was awesome. Everyone who knows him knows she is his best friend and I don’t think anyone had anything negative to say.
Post # 3
NikkiBee18 : Did the best woman have a boutonnierre, corsage, bouquet, or no florals at all?
Post # 4
I have not, but my boyfriend recently stood up at a friend’s wedding as a bridesmaid. He said the experience was awkard (because he couldn’t be fully involved in the bridal party but wasn’t really invited to the grooms party events) but generally it went off without a hitch. He had a boutineer no bouquet
Post # 5
One of fiance’s “Groomsmen” will be a female friend and she will also be the only girl attending his bachelor party. They go back a long time and she is one of his best friends so I have no problem with it.
I really wouldn’t be concerned about what random guests think, if they have any issues then it is 100% their problem.
You know there is nothing going on and that this is a completely platonic relationship so don’t get stuck on her genitals.
Post # 6
Not quite the same, but I have a male “bridesmaid” (i’ve decided to call him a bridesman haha) on my side when we get married. He will wear a tux like the other guys but he will have a different tie (that matches my bridesmaids) and probably a different bout.
I’d imagine your fiancés best friend could have a dress that’s black (if the guys are wearing black suits! Or gray or whatever color) and carry a bouquet that is small and matches the guys’ boutonnières 🙂 Thats what I’d picture as making sense, at least!
Post # 7
laureng1 : I wanna say she had a wrist corsage.
Post # 8
laureng1 : I did!! My Dh didn’t have a lot of close male friends at the time, so it just made sense that his best female friend was his “best man”. She wore a women’s pant suit that matched the color of the groomsmen’s tuxes, and everyone was saying how great she looked! We also considered having her wear a bridesmaids dress instead, but I did all different shades for them so we weren’t sure what color she would be in. I did consider having her get a charcoal grey (that matched the tuxes), but we all liked the pant suit idea better.
Like you, I was concerned at first what my guests would think, and I sort of struggled with the idea, but I came around to it and I’m glad I did. No one said anything negative about it (at least, not that I know of.) In fact, anyone who said anything about it thought it was kind of cool.
ETA: she had a boutonnière. I gave her the option of either that or the wrist corsage, but she wanted to match the other groomsmen, so she chose the boutonnière. I would have been fine with either option.
Post # 9
My Brother-In-Law had a best woman when he and my sister got married. She wore a lovely black dress.
Post # 10
My husband had his sister stand up on his side as his best woman. I love his sister but didn’t want to feel obligated to put her on my side. His guy friends kind of suck in a lot of ways so it was a move that made sense. His sister deserved the honor.
One of his guy friends was a douche about it but ultimately it was the right choice. She worse the same dress style as my bridesmaids but in the suit color of the other groomsmen.
Post # 11
I was my brother’s best women. I wore what the bridesmaids wore. My husband has a good friend that is a women, we contemplated having her stand on his side but decided to ask her to officiate.
Post # 12
My husband had a best woman. She and him had been best friends for like a decade or something.
She wore the same midnight blue dress as the bridesmaids (at my insistence) but with a lacy black shawl and corsage to differentiate her from the bridesmaids. She was totally down with wearing a tux or pantsuit and eagerly offered (she wanted an excuse to get a nice pantsuit haha), but I’ve never been a fan of that look, and with the wedding and venues being so formal and traditional, it would have looked kinda gimmicky and out of place.
Also, around the same time, a friend and I were groomswomen in another wedding and the groom reeeeally wanted us to wear the same men’s suits as the groomsmen. Even with extensive tailoring (which would have been more than the suit), we would have looked ridiculous. We vetoed the suits (after a hilariously disastrous session at Men’s Warehouse) and got ourselves some silver gray dresses that matched the suits and were a similar style to the bridesmaid dresses (which we were not able to get in gray in time). We looked fine, ultimately. And this experience made my no to husband’s best woman in a tux a much harder no.
Post # 13
I have a Man of Honor instead of a Maid of Honor! Friends for over 20 years now. FH loves it and is getting him a suit made that is reverse of the groomsman colors. So not quite the same as your question but similar.
Post # 14
My hubby had a female “honored attendant” (because I said I was the “best woman” lol). We had different colors for my side and his side so we just asked our attendants to wear whatever they wanted in those colors.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Just recently I went to a wedding where the groom had a best woman (his sister). It was really sweet that she stood by his side, they’re really close. She wore a dress to match with the groomsmen’s ties, not a bridesmaid dress, went to the bachelor party and not bachelorette, etc. Not the same as what you’re asking, but it can be done! I know it might be a bit weird to explain to others that she’s a friend, not as obvious as a sibling.