Did Anyone’s Husband Have A Best Woman Instead of a Best Man?

posted 11 months ago in Grooms/men
Post # 16
436 posts
Helper bee

I’ve been a groom’s mate (we settled on that because maid sounded well, a bit sexist and best woman sounded like it should be his wife). The aesthetics were fine, no one bated an eye because the entire groom’s side of the wedding party had all been friends for a decade+ and his immediate family knew and also the groom didn’t give 2 flicks what people thought. As for how to dress….I’d suggest matching the groom’s colors OR having one of those mis-match/gradient dress themes for all of the women in the bridal party; the BMs were in shades of purple for this wedding and I was in a grey dress that trended towards purple – bride bought the dresses.

It was harder/more awkward on me, I’d originally been asked to be a bride’s maid (decade+ friend of the couple and the bride asked me before he could)….then stuff happened and the party had to get redistributed, so a new maid was added and I was shuffled to the boy’s side. It wasn’t fun being left out of the bride’s photos with her bride’s maids – I was the only woman in the bridal party not in it. And I felt out of place posing with the boys, while in a dress.

Would have happily preferred a tailored suit for myself instead – no, not from Men’s warehouse (like another bee talked about, men’s suits look horrendously baggy on women) but a proper tailored tuxedo pants suit for women, just google for examples of how women pull that look off.

I had a boutonniere, also very awkward finding somewhere to pin it too that didn’t look weird and wasn’t drawing attention to the breasts – dresses don’t have a particular spot set out for a boutonnier to go into (unlike suits with lapels or the breast pocket), mine ended up at waist level and wouldn’t stay upright during the photos, required constant budging and fidgeting. Would have preferred a corsage for the wrist or a bouquet as well (although I think the bride didn’t get one for me for a clearer bride vs groom’s side distinction).

Post # 17
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

My husband had a best woman, they’ve been friends for over 20 years. I was totally happy with it, in fact it was my suggestion! He was leaning towards a male friend who he doesn’t actually see that often, so I asked if he’d considered the female friend as she’s much closer to him and sees him regularly. I’ve never felt any insecurity towards this woman, I’m perfectly happy if they go out somewhere alone or if he goes over for dinner with her while I’m elsewhere. She has a husband and two children, and she’s always been lovely towards me.

She wore a dress similar to the Maid/Matron of Honor, but longer and with different straps. She didn’t want to wear a suit and there were no other groomsmen so nobody to match. She had a wrist corsage as a buttonhole wouldn’t have worked with the fabric on the dress.

Post # 18
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I had a bridesman. He wore a blue suit (all the bridesmaids were in mismatched blues), but the same buttonhole as the groom’s side. It was good fun. He was also invited on my hen-do, but I have lots of male friends so it was mixed-sex.

I also know a couple who had a best woman 13 years ago when they got married! She wore a women’s suit that matched the groom’s side, and a buttonhole the same as them. From what I hear, she did a great job. She was a mutual friend of the bride and groom from uni and the couple in question also had a joint hen and stag do, so again everyone was included in wedding activities regardless of gender.

Post # 19
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my previous post, did anyone else have parents who were weirded out by the idea of a best woman/man of honor?

My dad initially didn’t like the idea at all, and my mom tried to gently nudge me to invite her to be a bridesmaid/stand on my side and have my husband pull in a couple more guys to his side and promote his younger half brother to best man (hubby and his bro have a great relationship, but they’re not super close due to a 12 year age difference).  Parents cited the super formal/traditional venues, but the the church, where it would be an issue, literally couldn’t care less.  It’s super liberal and the only thing traditional about it is the architecture.  Then when I made it clear that she would be wearing a matching dress and NOT a tux or pantsuit, their minds were put at ease.  I honestly think my dad was mostly worried about gimmicky attire being a distraction and inappropriate for the hyper formal reception venue.

Post # 20
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My husband had a Best (Wo)Man! Or, as she referred to herself, his Breast Man haha. It wasn’t really a big deal at all. Granted, we had a very relaxed approach to aesthetics and he also had a groomswoman. Everyone was just asked to dress in a similar colour scheme. Our photographer said she actually loved having some women in the mix because it was more fun to play around with for the pictures. 



Post # 21
2407 posts
Buzzing bee

I was the “best woman” in a male friend’s wedding about 15 years ago.  I wore a long black evening dress which due to the color had some continunity/cohesiveness with the tuxes the groomsmen were wearing.  I can’t recall if I had a corsage but I think I had a wrist corsage.  

Post # 22
9545 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

My husband had a groomswoman. She wore a dress to match the groomsmen and had a bouquet. She also planned/organized the bachelor party since his brother is a bit useless with stuff like that. 

Post # 23
3677 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

My brother had a best woman! He actually had 3 girls and 2 guys in his bridal party. The guys wore black pants & white shirts with suspenders and green bowties. Girls wore black dresses & a white ribbon belt with a broach provided by the bride & hand made bowtie necklaces. The bridesmaids wore black dresses with green ribbon belts & a broach

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