Post # 1
On this site and others, there seems to be this huuuuuge theme where weddings end up being relationship-ending events between what were once good friends. Someone acts ridiculous – either a bride going crazy with their demands or bridesmaids showing utter disinterest, etc. I think that’s so sad and I just cannot believe that this is the norm. I assume that we hear about these things because they’re so emotionally challenging, but we just don’t hear about the times that wedding parties work out right and actually bring friends closer.
So let’s hear ’em!!
Post # 2
I think that being in a wedding bringing you closer to someone is an unrealistic expectation. And that’s not the point of a wedding party – it’s not a team building activity. My wedding party was amazing. We had no drama but it didn’t bring us closer. We picked the people we did because they were already the closest to us.
Post # 3
hikingbride : OK I see why you interpretted the question that way. That was my fault and I guess I didn’t word it properly. I was not trying to suggest that being in a wedding party should be used as a tool to become closer. You’re right – that IS unrealistic. What I was trying to get at is that being part of someones wedding, or having your friend be part of yours, should be a mutually enjoyable, happy experience that leaves everyone feeling valued and loved, rather than jilted and bitter and I wanted to hear about these positive experiences since there is sooo much negativity out there about wedding parties.
Post # 4
I haven’t necessarily been IN weddings but have attended weddings where it totally rekindled friendships – both with the bride and other mutual friends. My best friend from boarding school and I kinda drifted away in college and early 20s. We randomly rekindled our friendship a few years out of college and while I wasn’t in her wedding party (it was very small) I helped pick the venue, helped take care of rooming logistics, etc. She introduced me to some of her girlfriends AND my fiance through wedding planning and the wedding itself and we’ve all just gotten closer and closer these last few years. Man, I just smile thinking about the people I met through that day.
Post # 5
It’s not a team building exercise, and it’s not even the fact that it’s a WEDDING, it’s just that going through major life milestones with someone can bring you closer naturally.
I think my wedding did bring me closer to one of my best friends (or brought us closer again). When my husband and I first got together she had a hard time with it. Before my husband came along, she and I had always kinda been closer to each other than to the guys we dated. She was also going through a really terrible break up at the time.
But when my wedding came along and I was able to really include her and honour her in the whole thing I think it helped her realize that my husband wasn’t taking me away for her. She wasn’t expected to do anything planning wise and could wear whatever she wanted, so it didn’t have anything to do with contributing or not contributing. I think just going through it with me and knowing she was still such an important part of my life really helped our friendship.
ETA – I totally forgot that it actually re-kindled another best-friendship for me as well. My childhood best friend and I had drifted apart 5 years prior due to drama from a third friend that both of us just got tired of. She messaged me when I got engaged and came to the wedding and we’ve been good friends again ever since!
Post # 6
One of my good friends got married this June and I’m getting married next June. I think that our weddings have brought us closer because we live 2,000 miles apart and hadn’t seen eachother for years and then got to see each other twice in two months! But it wasn’t just the distance being closed that made us closer. Planning at the same time, having the same things to connect about, getting to spoil each other? I think it has brought us closer! It’s such an exciting time to be sharing with someone.
Post # 7
I’m more of the “it is what it is” camp. Nothing awful. By all accounts positive. Some I am still friends with. Some I am not for reasons unrelated to the weddings. It’s more of a “that was life at that moment in time” but no profound impact beyond that negative or positive. Shared stories are fun and a wedding is just another opportunity for a shared story. But that’s pretty much all it is.
I think it is the nature of this site. This is only a minute fraction of people and by and large people with perfectly lovely copacetic wedding experiences aren’t seeking out message boards to brag about it or ask how to deal with everything just being so darn lovely all the time.
Post # 8
Yes! I was a bridesmaids with 3 of my friends a while back. I shared a room with one of them the night before the wedding and even though we considered eachother best friends before that, we have been so much closer since. We stayed up till 3am chatting about stuff we had never talked to the other about before and the following day at the wedding was the first time we had spent any proper time with the other’s boyfriend. It was a really nice biproduct of an already nice occasion.
Post # 9
This happened to me! I hadn’t been as close with one of my bridesmaids for a couple of years, but decided to ask her as the rest of that group of friends were also bridesmaids. She ended up being super sweet and went unexpectedly above and beyond through the whole thing, and it definitely brought us closer together now.
Agree with PP that the nature of these boards will definitely elicit more posts about bridesmaid relationship drama rather than posts about how lovely everyone is. So I would say that there are probably a lot more positive stories out there that are never posted about.
Post # 10
Yep, sometimes….although not often. I became much closer with a friend during the planning process of her wedding. I was already married, and in the wedding industry. Our husbands are close and we were getting there but I helped her do A LOT during the planning process just out of kindness and my connections.
Post # 11
Planning my own wedding definitely brought me closer to my sister, who was my maid of honor and helped with so much of the planning. Then being in one of my best friend’s weddings with a group of girls I’ve know since we were 5 definitely brought us all closer together as we spent months planning the perfect Harry Potter themed bridal shower. It was a lot of work but so great.
Post # 12
My maid of honor and I definitely got closer and I even mentioned it in my thank you card to her and she agreed wholeheartedly.. we agreed to be better about staying in touch and we have.
Basically we are a LDR cus I moved away after college (we are high school friends) and we were kind of shitty at texting and stuff cus before then we never had to be good at it. My wedding opened up our communication channels a lot and so rather than just one big check in per quarter we started texting the little shit a few times a week. Now we talk when her cats teeth feel bad or my dog does a dumb thing or work is annoying or… Well just way more than the big stuff. It’s nice. 🙂