POLL: Did guests respond to save the dates? The anticipation is getting to me

posted 9 months ago in Guests
  • poll: Did at least a handful of your guests voluntarily respond to your save the dates?
    Yes : (13 votes)
    18 %
    No : (56 votes)
    76 %
    Other- please share! : (5 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee

    I honestly didnt know you were supposed to respond to them? If I received one, I wouldn’t respond until invites came out with the RSVP information on it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1461 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I didn’t really get responses to my save the dates, other than several friends texting me that they received them. It’s funny how many people sent me a text photo of the STD on their refrigerator. Some out of towners made hotel reservations because I had the block info on the website, but honestly only a very few did that. I didn’t get any declines that I can recall.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1211 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    No- the whole point of save the dates is that you don’t need to respond to them, they’re more of an FYI kind of thing. (Plus, even if you have guests who reach out now saying they CAN’T come circumstances may change later to allow them to attend, so I wouldn’t count on that. Keep in mind that everyone who receives a save the date must receive an invitation, regardless of whether they informally RSVP ahead of time.)

    Post # 5
    Member
    699 posts
    Busy bee

    I got responses; BUT I didn’t send physical cards I send electronic save the dates. They linked directly to our website and RSVP system. Probably 50% of our guests responded after receiving the Save-The-Date Cards

    Post # 6
    Member
    2917 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    sierrameadow :  I didn’t send save the dates because we had a 4 month engagement and gave everyone a heads up while planning. But, when I receive save the dates I don’t respond to them, unless it’s someone I’m really close with I’ll usually text them or mention it when I see them next, but those people will most likely already know that I’m coming as we’ve likely already discussed wedding plans.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

    No. Save the date cards are just that – advance warning of your wedding date to your guests. There is no reason to get a response from them at this point.

    They will RSVP when you send out the official invitations.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I wouldn’t respond to an STD unless i definitely already had something booked the same day – another wedding, graduation, vacation, etc. If your wedding is in august people may already have vacation plans and might let you know, otherwise its more of a wait and see. I also found most people who DIDNT respond were no’s. So even if they know they aren’t coming, they just might not respond at all – even to invites. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee

    No one responded to mine. But my brother had a destination wedding in India and a lot of people told them they weren’t coming when they received the Save-The-Date Cards, but then later changed their minds and did come when the formal invitations went out. So you really can’t use an informal response from a STD to figure out the guest list.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

    I have never responded to Save-The-Date Cards of family or more distant friends/family. 

    However, if it’s a very close friend, I will tell them I’m going. I’m across the country so I always let them know I can make the trip and everything. 

    I wouldn’t expect out of town family to say anything. I didn’t have STD (we had a very small reception for family and friends bc we got married at the courthouse) but we had out of town family that never RSVP’d. We also had quite a bit of family out of town that didn’t say anything until aroudn the deadline for responding saying they couldn’t make it. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2662 posts
    Sugar bee

    We were having a Destination Wedding, so people who were going contacted me about my suggestions on flights and accommodations.  

    I still didn’t have any clue who was or was not going until I got the official rsvp back.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2811 posts
    Sugar bee

    About half of people RSVP’d to our save the dates.

    BUT that’s probably only because they had a link to the place on the website where you could RSVP. The only people that mentioned them directly to me are people I talk to all the time anyway. 

    If you’ve turned off the RSVP function on your website I doubt you’ll get responses until you send out your invitations. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    765 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    sierrameadow :  I sent an email calendar invitation to my friends titled “save the date & rsvp!” with a personalized message. Everyone that I thought would attend responded the same day or within 24 hours. A few out of state folks didn’t but that was expected.

    I also told them a formal invitation and more details will be sent 6 months before the wedding but that I needed an approx. headcount now to determine where to do the reception. 

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