Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2019 - Mountains
I sent out STDCs (I prefer abbreviating save the date cards as opposed to STD haha) a few weeks ago, well in advance of our wedding. Our STDCs had the date, city, and website. All of the guests on my side are out of state and some will need to travel across the USA. The anticipation and curiosity is getting to me. I know that a number of my Out of Town guests will not be able to come because of finances or logistics (which I totally understand) and a few of my friends have already reached out that they are coming. However, I am kinda hoping (I know this sounds bad) that some extended family reaches out telling me they aren’t. If we have a number of declines, I would like to invite 2 more couples but I would prefer to send STDCs to these 2 couples by the end of next month if possible.
Did folks get many responses yea or nay to their STDCs? Just curious
Post # 2
I honestly didnt know you were supposed to respond to them? If I received one, I wouldn’t respond until invites came out with the RSVP information on it.
Post # 3
I didn’t really get responses to my save the dates, other than several friends texting me that they received them. It’s funny how many people sent me a text photo of the STD on their refrigerator. Some out of towners made hotel reservations because I had the block info on the website, but honestly only a very few did that. I didn’t get any declines that I can recall.
Post # 4
No- the whole point of save the dates is that you don’t need to respond to them, they’re more of an FYI kind of thing. (Plus, even if you have guests who reach out now saying they CAN’T come circumstances may change later to allow them to attend, so I wouldn’t count on that. Keep in mind that everyone who receives a save the date must receive an invitation, regardless of whether they informally RSVP ahead of time.)
Post # 5
I got responses; BUT I didn’t send physical cards I send electronic save the dates. They linked directly to our website and RSVP system. Probably 50% of our guests responded after receiving the Save-The-Date Cards
Post # 6
sierrameadow : I didn’t send save the dates because we had a 4 month engagement and gave everyone a heads up while planning. But, when I receive save the dates I don’t respond to them, unless it’s someone I’m really close with I’ll usually text them or mention it when I see them next, but those people will most likely already know that I’m coming as we’ve likely already discussed wedding plans.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
No. Save the date cards are just that – advance warning of your wedding date to your guests. There is no reason to get a response from them at this point.
They will RSVP when you send out the official invitations.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2019 - Mountains
kimmacph : very interesting, I turned off the RSVP portion of our website until we send out invitations later in the spring
futuremrs2020 : sparkosity : fair enough, I’m really referring to relatives I haven’t seen/talked to in almost 20 years! Parents are covering all of the wedding costs so they needed to be included. These aren’t people I’m close with unlike my friends that have let me know in passing.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t respond to an STD unless i definitely already had something booked the same day – another wedding, graduation, vacation, etc. If your wedding is in august people may already have vacation plans and might let you know, otherwise its more of a wait and see. I also found most people who DIDNT respond were no’s. So even if they know they aren’t coming, they just might not respond at all – even to invites.
Post # 10
No one responded to mine. But my brother had a destination wedding in India and a lot of people told them they weren’t coming when they received the Save-The-Date Cards, but then later changed their minds and did come when the formal invitations went out. So you really can’t use an informal response from a STD to figure out the guest list.
Post # 11
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
I have never responded to Save-The-Date Cards of family or more distant friends/family.
However, if it’s a very close friend, I will tell them I’m going. I’m across the country so I always let them know I can make the trip and everything.
I wouldn’t expect out of town family to say anything. I didn’t have STD (we had a very small reception for family and friends bc we got married at the courthouse) but we had out of town family that never RSVP’d. We also had quite a bit of family out of town that didn’t say anything until aroudn the deadline for responding saying they couldn’t make it.
Post # 12
We were having a Destination Wedding, so people who were going contacted me about my suggestions on flights and accommodations.
I still didn’t have any clue who was or was not going until I got the official rsvp back.
Post # 13
I’ve never responded to a STD card.
Post # 14
About half of people RSVP’d to our save the dates.
BUT that’s probably only because they had a link to the place on the website where you could RSVP. The only people that mentioned them directly to me are people I talk to all the time anyway.
If you’ve turned off the RSVP function on your website I doubt you’ll get responses until you send out your invitations.
Post # 15
sierrameadow : I sent an email calendar invitation to my friends titled “save the date & rsvp!” with a personalized message. Everyone that I thought would attend responded the same day or within 24 hours. A few out of state folks didn’t but that was expected.
I also told them a formal invitation and more details will be sent 6 months before the wedding but that I needed an approx. headcount now to determine where to do the reception.