Post # 1
First of all, I know this is a touchy subject and I promise that I am not looking to start a debate. I am just very curious. I want to hear from women who have ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED either vaginal birth or c-sections or both.
I was reading online the other night on other forums (yes, I got into the weird part of the internet) and there are a lot of women out there who are very upset that their vaginas have been “ruined” by their vaginal deliveries. They are disappointed that no, it didn’t go back to feeling how it used to, and insist that their sex lives are now less satisfactory than before. Most complaints were about it feeling looser or less sensitive (fewer complaints were about it looking different since that’s not as important to many people). A lot of women were expressing desire/need for reconstructive surgeries.
Of course, there were also piles of women who insist that after 3 kids, their vaginas are “tighter than ever” and that the sex got better. Good for them, but it’s a lot easier to admit that things are great than admit that things suck.
So it left me wondering.
Please only share if you’re comfortable doing so. I understand that it’s far easier to share when you’ve had positive experiences, so I’ve added a poll if that helps.
Also, the majority of women were upset personally with their bodies and in some cases noted that their husbands didn’t notice or care about any differences. So, I’m not asking if your partner still likes your vagina, I’m just asking about any changes you’ve experienced and how you perceive them.
Final note: this thread IS NOT about the benefits of vaginal birth, nor is it a place to list the pros and cons of it. I am aware that a c-section generally requires more recovery time than a vaginal birth and that the two carry different risks to both the mother and baby. I don’t care about those statistics right now, and I do not believe that a woman who delivers vaginally is a better mother than someone who delivers by c-section. I’m just looking for information since the general consensus on the other forums was “WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS!?” and I’m wondering if your experiences were similar or not.
Post # 3
I have had two vaginal births and actually felt tighter after #2. I had an episiotomy and still tore with #1 so I had a lot of stitches. After that healed things didn’t look that much different.
Sex has defiantely still been good (obviously since #3 is on the way). I have talked to DH about this and he says that there isn’t much difference at all and he really has no filter so he would tell me the truth:)
Post # 4
My having a vaginal birth did not effect my vagina. However, having a child has effected my sex life! haha
Post # 5
I like that you included the last option for people like me, lol!
Post # 6
Cash000 EXACTLY! Ha ha ha!
Post # 7
Thanks for copying your response from the first attempt at this thread!
Haha, I had to! I think there will be a lot of “watchers” on this one (like me). 🙂
For some great answers by ladies who posted on the first attempt of this thread where the poll wouldn’t show up, click here
Post # 8
Wait- seriously- I have had 2 vaginal births- one with an episiotomy and one where I tore naturally a little bit.
Recovery/ after effects were not a big deal in my experience. I honestly can’t tell the difference.
Post # 9
sorry, random post – got it to work JP!
Post # 10
Will check back to see poll results later! I am also very intrigued. Great topic, Juliepants!
… I also voted for the last option LOL
Post # 11
Great responses from the original thread:
I had a vaginal delivery. Two years later, I would say it is all still the same down there. It took a lot of recovery time, lets say 4 to 6 months for me to feel back to normal. I had stitches, and they take forever to heal. Plus, it didn’t feel awesome again for awhile, that is why I say 4 to 6 months.
Well, I had a c-sec after pushing for two hours failed me. Afterwards I had a lot of problems from pushing due to how she was positioned (mostly pelvic floor issues, and rectum changes) and because she was stuck, but sex is INCREDIBLY better now. I have a little bit of muscle loss from pushing, but it’s not blown out or anything. 🙂 Something happened from pushing, though, as I can now orgasm within two minutes of sex. while before I couldn’t finish until like, 20 minutes WITH help.
within 6 months I was normal.
I had a vaginal delivery. My vagina is certainly not as tight as she once was and she also had some tears on the inside, leaving her more sensitive. However, our sex life is still great. I don’t feel any different and still orgasm as much as I ever did (which is luckily, 2-4 times/session). My husband says he notices a difference, but still finds me sexy (if not sexier) and enjoys sex. The tears had left me more sensitive to rougher sex/prolonged sex. I can’t go for as long as I once did because of the tears. It starts to feel a little raw. My husband is intact and sometimes says his foreskin doesn’t get pulled back as much during sex because my vagina is looser. This sometimes leaves him feeling a little raw if we go for too long.
Overall, we are still rocking the sex life!
Post # 12
I’m also interested to hear the answers on this post. I have numerous amount of friends who have children and I have heard all the stories but I like to get all kinds of perspectives from every angle. I also chose the last option on the poll cause I love voting in the polls 🙂
Post # 13
Having a vaginal birth didn’t “ruin” my vagina. From what my doctor told me the tightness and good feelings during sex are directly related to how often you keep up with your kaegels, which you’re supposed to continue doing after child birth. My daughter’s father said it was even better than before because things felt just as tight, but I lost some of my inhibition after my daughter was born (in a good way, I used to be very shy in the bedroom), but I think that was more a personality thing for me. The tightness feels the same to me as it did before (and he agrees). We split up a number of years ago (my daughter is 9 and we split when she was pretty young) and my now Fiance says I feel the same, sometimes tighter, than other girls he’s been with. We’re very open, sometimes to the point of Too Much Information lol. I really do think the key is to keep doing your kaegels and since it’s a muscle (or lots of muscles) things will go back to how they were before and you wont get “ruined”. For most people, of course there are the exceptions. Hope this helps! 🙂
ETA: I had some tearing also (which I think is common) so needed some stitches. We waited until about 8 weeks after delivery to have sex. Tried after 4 weeks, but my body wasn’t ready. Even though the stitches had healed it hurt pretty bad, so we stopped and waited longer. After 8 weeks it was great.
Post # 15
Me too! I’m curious and watching this thread!
Post # 16
I had a vaginal delivery 20 years ago and everything went perfectly for me. I had no tearing and after waiting the allotted time (I think 6 weeks, maybe 8) sex felt amazing and just as good as ever. Nothing was different, except it was a little tight and more sensitive, but in a good way. Nothing looked any different. If you get a good doctor and have a healthy delivery there should be no problems. Then again, breastfeeding didn’t harm/change my breasts at all and I didn’t get many stretch marks either, so maybe I was just lucky.
Edit: Agree with the fact that kegels definitely work.