(Closed) Did He Ask For Your Parents Blessing Before Or After He Got The Ring? (Poll)

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did he ask for your parent/s blessing before or after he got the ring?

    Had the ring before asking for blessing

    Got blessing and then got the ring

    Don't know

  • Post # 16
    14142 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I respect that others feel differently about this tradition, but to me asking for a blessing is not so different than asking for permission. H did neither. 

    Post # 17
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    DH and I picked out my ring months before he asked my dad for his blessing. I didn’t really want him to ask but he felt it was respectful and a gesture of good will toward my parents…and I appreciate that.

    Post # 18
    1305 posts
    Bumble bee

    My husband didn’t “ask”, but before he got in the car and moved down to be with me across the country, he stopped at my dads house and told him he intended to marry me.  My husband and my father are on VERY good terms, even before we were married, so it was not unusual or unnatural.  

    My father raised me, is a very good parent, and means the world to me.  He’s a great role model and made me the way I am today.  My husband telling him he intended to marry me didn’t mean that I’m not an independent woman or any of the stuff people are being so rude about on here.  

    I bet a lot of women bashing this “tradition” on here are also having a father/daughter dance and having their father walk them down the aisle.  Whatever.  I love my dad so I included him.  I know in my heart of hearts my father knows he doesn’t “own” me, and I know my husband never thought he did.  He’s just a wonderful father and I think my husband wanted to share the excitement with him.  My husband also told his parents before he asked me, and I don’t think that’s wrong either.  We had talked marriage for about a year while he was saving up for the ring, so clearly he intended either way.

    A lot of women need to lighten up.  Just because our fathers are involved doesn’t mean we aren’t independent of them.


    Post # 19
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Fiance asked my dad to church (mom passed 12 yrs ago) & then they did dinner. Dad was completely taken by surprise & had no clue my Fiance was going to ask. Dad didn’t just say yes, he talked through it (though my Fiance is the most amazing guy I’ve ever dated..I never complain about him). I think Fiance was nervous. 

    Fiance did not have my ring but had it ordered….

    Post # 20
    3716 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    annonywhatwhat:  After, but he tried before. It is a funny story. My husband has a very, very common name (like John Smith) and called my dad at work instead of at home or his cell. He also asked for him by his title instead of his first name. This is common protocol where DH works, but not at all at my dad’s office (personal calls all come through the cell). My dad’s secretary wrote down the message, but because there was zero indication that it was a personal call, it never clicked at who it was and my dad never called him back. DH was running out of time and finally was able to reach him the day before we left on our trip.

    DH asked because it was important to him and it was how he was raised. It was not important to me or my father. Heck, my dad didn’t ask permission from my mom’s father and my dad already knew we intended to get married (and he approved)

    Post # 21
    2454 posts
    Buzzing bee

    He had the ring and even showed my mom after he got her blessing. She rubbed it in my face that she got to see the ring before me, which actually isn’t true…. but whatever lol

    Post # 22
    2454 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’d like to add that my fi only did it out of respect and I’m not sure if he actually asked or just told her that he was going to marry me. The only reason he did it is because my mom had mentioned that she would like to be asked at some point, which I relayed to him. I personally, didn’t care, but she was a singlead mom and it matters to her. So it wasn’t a big deal to fulfill her wishes. 

    Post # 23
    943 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I don’t get why some bees are so negative abt this. It’s a sweet gesture. And not really asking permission but just showing respect to the father/parents. 

    My parents were part of the engagement as my husband did it when we went to the pumpkin patch with them and my nephews.. So he brought the ring over the night before to let them know the plan and show them the ring.. They were estatic and I was shocked the next day because I was the one who planned the trip. I wouldn’t have had it any other way! My and my husband had been together 5years before we finally got engaged, my parents had been waiting a long time for it to finally happened. I think it is very sweet for the man to talk to the parents and hope our daughters future husband does it. Many girls are very close with their dad and it makes dad feel  apart of it!

    Post # 24
    1685 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    My ring is being made now and he talked to my parents a week ago. So guess both although I don’t technically have the ring yet. 

    Post # 25
    1024 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Neither. He got the ring and didn’t tell a soul, and everyone found out after he proposed. We had been together for over 8 years, so in conversations through the years my father had always said “no need to ask, you have my blessing whenever you decide to propose.”

    Post # 26
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Rock Island Lake Club

    He never talked to either of my parents about it… but they weren’t in the least bit surprised when he finally asked me.

    Post # 27
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    no blessings. i don’t like that tradition, and we were also 30, so that’s a little weird.

    Post # 28
    859 posts
    Busy bee

    My DH actually proposed (with a ring) before he asked my father. He had been planning on asking my father first, but I had a health emergency and it looked like I was going to die. He decided that it was more important propose before I passed away then to talk to my dad. Luckily, I lived, and he asked my father for permission before we annouced the engagement. 

    While I didn’t need my father’s “permission” to get married I respect his opinion more than anyone else’s, and I would never have married someone he did not approve of. 

    Post # 29
    1320 posts
    Bumble bee

    None. We’re adults. Plus, I would know long before getting engaged if my family had reservations about my relationship, and it probably would be for a good reason. 

    Post # 30
    485 posts
    Helper bee

    Sometimes the Bee really confuses me.  Some posts are all about proper etiquette and traditions and then posts like this seem to throw all of that out the window with everyone being super progressive and independent.

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