(Closed) Did he ask your dad before proposing?

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Did your FI ask your dad permission to marry you before proposing?
    Yes : (187 votes)
    65 %
    No : (99 votes)
    35 %
  • Post # 136
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    My father has been very passive about my relationship with my fiance so I told him he didn’t have to ask my dad’s permission. Especially since I think it’s stupid to “ask his permisson” for me and “to give me away”, I’m my own person. I did tell him I’d think it great to ask my dad for his blessing but didn’t care either way.

    Post # 137
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Nope. I did tell my fiance that I thought it would be kind of cute if he told my Dad before – not to ask permission at all but more to say, I’m going to propose, what do you think about that? However, we both knew that my Dad might be a bit disappointed in him if he did ask, as he sees things like that as really sexist and archaic.

     

    Post # 138
    Member
    256 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    We talked about getting engaged for a month or two before we really did. Any time it was around my parents, they would jokingly say “You better ASK US FIRST!” I also thought it was a cute and respectful thing to do so I told Fiance he should call before he proposed. I also asked him that he ask my dad NOT to tell my mom (we planned our “proposal day” so I knew when it was happening). Then after he gave me the ring, we went over to my parents house and surprised my mom, and she was very happy that Fiance called my dad first.

    Post # 139
    Member
    893 posts
    Busy bee

    My mom actually said “no, he doesn’t have to ask. There’s no point pretending our permission or approval actually matters!” She seemed to think it was funny since I always do whatever I want anyway.

    Post # 140
    Member
    8663 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    MrsA44:  My husband knew that I did not want him seeking anyone’s blessing before asking me if I wanted to get married. My parents aren’t particularly old fashioned but my dad did half-joking say to him “I don’t recall you asking my permission to marry my daughter.” My husband just said “that’s because your daughter told me not to and she scares me more than you do!” which made everyone laugh and my dad replied “smart man”.  

    Post # 141
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - White Oak Plantation

    Mine did : )

    Post # 142
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    my Fiance and i are not traditional, but he knew my parents are old fashioned…so he actually asked them secretly while I was at work. I actually never told my fiance to ask my parents b/c somehow the idea of “asking for permission” never crossed my mind, but after finding out he did ask my parents I was so shocked and touched, my parents mean the world to me and it’s really heart warming to know that my fiance cares and respects my parents.  Bottom line is he wants me to be happy. 🙂

    Post # 143
    Member
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    Family is everything to me, so if he hadn’t gotten their blessing I wouldn’t have said yes, no matter how much I loved him.  

     

    I told my husband this LONG before he ever proposed, so he made a point of going to my aunt and uncle (my dad’s sister and her husband) to get their blessing since my father passed about 3 weeks after we started dating. 

    Post # 144
    Member
    214 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Cambridge Mill

    That is one tradition I LOVE, not asking, but blessing. My dad passed away 4 years ago, so my Fiance asked my mom, and then asked if she believed that we would have his blessings also. It was super sweet and thoughtful when I heard about this afterwards. 

    Post # 145
    Member
    311 posts
    Helper bee

    Darling Husband came to my dad for his blessing before he asked.  I thought it was a nice gesture and had my parents SO excited.  Also, it allowed them to prepare a mini-celebration for us the day we got engaged.  

    My brother on the other hand, when he got engaged I asked if he had talked to her parents before (they had been together for many years before the engagement and he is very close with her family) and he scoffed and told me she wasn’t chattel! haha  I didn’t see it that way but apparently they both found it to be offensive.  

    To each their own I guess!  

    Post # 146
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2015 - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

    My parents have yet to meet him face to face, so nope! 

    I would have liked to have known him and my dad had a conversatuon, but circumstances didn’t permit unfortunately!

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  Soon2B-MrsC.
    Post # 147
    Member
    773 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview

    We had talked for a few weeks about marriage prior to getting engaged. I told him that it was important to me that he asks out of a blessing rather than permission. My parents came to visit for a week and he waited until my parents were helping us stain our deck before asking (I had taken the dog for a walk). My dad said, “you picked a fine time to ask”. haha

    Post # 148
    Member
    760 posts
    Busy bee

    My Fiance knows my relationship with my dad (divorced parents since I was 3) so he felt no need to ask a man who barely knows me if he can marry me. My dad was hurt at first because he thought my Fiance asked my mom, but he asked neither. My Fiance only met my dad about 5 times in the time before we got engaged a year ago, so why bother?

    Post # 149
    Member
    216 posts
    Helper bee

    Mine hasn’t proposed yet, but I know he asked for my parent’s blessing when we saw them end of last year. Good thing that I knew he was having that conversation, as they can’t keep a secret and were busting a gut trying not to tell me!

    My dad was surprised that he asked for their blessing, said it wasn’t necessary but was absolutely thrilled that SO wanted to include them and felt like he was showing them a lot of respect (we’re Asian, that earned him big points!)

    Of course, that now means it’s not just me waiting with baited breath…

    Post # 150
    Member
    1027 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Mine asked both my parents 😀 glad he did 

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