(Closed) Did he ask your dad before proposing?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Did your FI ask your dad permission to marry you before proposing?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 152
    Member
    2170 posts
    Buzzing bee

    nope, i’m no one’s property and I could care less if my dad, in particular, approves. He does like my husband but I am not a fan of this tradition at all. 

    Post # 153
    Member
    282 posts
    Helper bee

    We live pretty far from my parents and my fiancé was apparently too nervous to do it over the phone so he sent a Facebook message to my mom haha. Both my parents were thrilled.

    Post # 154
    Member
    72 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2017 - The George, Christchurch

    I had mentioned to my SO that it would be nice to mention to my parents. My Fiance did that. He didn’t ask for a blessing,  more told my dad of his intentions of proposing while we were going on holiday. My dad turned around and said of course, you are already like family. He didn’t tell my mum as he didn’t think she could contain her excitement when she saw me before going on holiday. It’s not so much about asking for permission anymore. It’s a personal thing.  

    Post # 155
    Member
    903 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    My dad isn’t around so no.  Fiance told my mom 4 years before the proposal “you know I’m going to marry your daughter someday.”  They talked about it in the time leading up to the proposal but my mom didn’t know when, where, or how.  It was a total shock to everyone except him.  I wasn’t upset about it.. I’m not one for traditions ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 156
    Member
    358 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    He told both of my parents that he was proposing that night, but didn’t “ask permission”. I am a grown independent woman, I would have been offended if he asked. 

    Post # 157
    Member
    6952 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Nope nope nope. He didn’t and I didn’t want him to. I love my dad but I’ve always thought this tradition is silly…as has my dad! I’m sure if my Fiance asked his permission my dad would’ve laughed and said he needed MY permission. 

    Post # 158
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    My Fiance would have asked my father, but my father passed away a long time ago. Instead, he asked my mother, which was very sweet. 

    Post # 159
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Yes my fiancee wanted not only my parent’s blessing but his family’s blessing as well before popping the question. 

    Post # 160
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    My Fiance didn’t ask my dad, but we live halfway across the country from my parents. He proposed a few months ago in February, and the last time we saw my parents was in August. We’ve been together 2.5 years, and he had only met my parents briefly (lunch) before visiting them in August.

    He and my dad went on a hike when we visited, and my dad did ask him at that point, what his general plans/thoughts were about me and him. My Fiance told him that we were both very serious and were seeing where things went. ๐Ÿ™‚ Well, we now know where things went and where they’re going! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 161
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I am a fan of the asking for a blessing. Not so much because I have be “given away,” but because of its symbolic value of having my current family provide a blessing as I start my own family. 

    My fiance did call my dad first to ask. Although he didn’t really ask. We’d been dating since high school (we’re now 27), so my fiance barely got the words out before my dad said “YES I’ve been waiting for this!!” To me it’s moreso that he included them in the planning and they knew I was going to get engaged. I am very close with my parents and so is my fiance so I definitely wouldn’t expect anything different given the relationship he and I have with my parents. They didn’t know when the proposal was happening, though, so when we called to tell that we were engaged, they were still surprised.

    Post # 162
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee

    Nope. He asked my mom. ๐Ÿ™‚ Which makes sense in the context of my family. So, she knew and kept it a secret for almost two months…which kind of blows my mind because we’re really close and talk all the time. Honestly, it never crossed my mind that he’d ask either of my parents. 

    Post # 163
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Yeah my dad is a banker so he did it in such a sly way. He told me he was going to go talk to my dad about his business stuff but was actually going to go ask. lol. 

    Post # 164
    Member
    417 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016 - Vineyard & Winery

    Yes, he did.  I’m 37 and he’s 46…and he still felt strongly about asking my father for his blessing, which I really appreciated. 

    We live on the West Coast and my family lives on the East Coast.  We planned a 4 day weekend to visit my parents so he could meet them for the first time.  We figured after he met them, he could then call my father when he was ready to “ask”.  However, 2 days in and he and my father were getting along famously…so he took it upon himself to ask that weekend! 

    My parents were ecstatic and extremely grateful that he asked.  But, they’re very traditional.  What works for one person doesn’t necessarily have to work for anyone else!

    Post # 165
    Member
    788 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    MrsA44:  Not engaged yet but my Fiance knows that he needs to ask my dad first. I’ve told him that would be important to my dad so he knows. He wasn’t surprised when I said that.

    It’s definitely not really asking for permission but more of a blessing for the marriage. My dad would never say no…but he would like that recognition.

    I also like knowing my parents will know before it happens because my mom will need time to process the idea haha! Not that she doesn’t love my SO…she does. But I’m her baby and in her eyes I will never be old enough to get married. It will be nice to know that when I tell her I’m engaged she already knew it was coming! Win win! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 166
    Member
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    He asked both my parents and my sister on Saturday! I told him it wasn’t necessary but he wanted to. We already knew the answer. So sweet ๐Ÿ™‚

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