(Closed) Did he ask your father first??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Fiance didn’t ask. We both decided that since I am an adult and my own woman, he didn’t need my father’s permision. 

Post # 4
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

He didn’t ask for permission, but he informed him a few days before that he was going to propose and asked for his “blessing” I guess you could say. I never expected it, nor would I have wanted to ask permission, but I’ll admit I was pleased that he talked to him beforehand. I wish he had talked to both my parents rather than just my dad though, but Fiance is a bit more old-school than my liberal family, lol.

Post # 5
11535 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My DH and I were in our mid 40s when we met. 

I had never been married, and he told me on our second, in-person date (we had met online a couple of months earlier) that, if he asked me to marry him, he was going to ask my father, and he later did.

I loved that he wanted my father’s blessing before he proposed to me!

Post # 6
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Fiance asked for my father’s blessing. I didn’t expect him to and if he had asked ahead of time I would have told him it was completely unnecessary: I’m my own person, we had been living together for 4 years already, my dad and I have a complicated relationship, etc etc etc. Also, quite honestly I would never have thought in a million years that my Fiance would be willing to…so the fact that he did ask totally blew me away and I think made me cry harder than the actual proposal itself.

Post # 7
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

FH didn’t. We decided that because we were adults he didn’t need permission or a blessing.

Post # 8
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My dad felt really strongly about my husband asking him first, even though I thought it was silly. So he did, which I thought was very flexible of him 🙂

Post # 9
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Fiance did ask my Dad in one of the coolest ways!  Him and my Dad love to drink Whiskey when they are together so he got him a flask that was engraved with this:

Jim:  I would love to have your blessing to take your daughter’s hand in marriage.  Love Marc

I love it!!  My Dad couldn’t talk I guess!  Amazing!

Post # 10
7425 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I don’t talk to my dad, so Fiance didn’t ask him.

Post # 11
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Mine didn’t and I would be offended if he did. I also don’t knock people who think it’s a must to get married.

Post # 12
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

He asked him after his dad freaked out about being disrespectful and not getting dad’s blessing.  FI’s family is pretty traditional so they told us not to tell anyone until we talked to my parents (we told his parents first cause they’re local).  It was kinda funny/cute to see my grown man Fiance get scolded about disrespecting my dad.  It didn’t really make any difference to me, and I guess my dad understood, he said he saw it coming.  Not sure how he felt about it.  I’m glad Fiance asked me first.

Post # 13
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

SO asked my grandparents last week (who basically raised me) and they gave him their blessing and requested that he ask my mother too (who I’m not especially close with) but anywho, all three gave their blessing.

 I was really happy he asked my grandfather, it was really important to my Opa that he be a part of it.

Now I just gotta wait for the ring!

Post # 14
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yes! They even went ring shopping together and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Asking my father was a must for me.

Post # 15
9071 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My husband attempted. We live in Oklahoma, our families live in California. He attempted to call my parents immediately before he proposed and neither answered the phone. Hah.


Post # 16
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Nope. I greatly dislike that old tradition and would have been insulted had Fiance even considered asking my father. I don’t have a problem with other’s who do ask, it just is something that I dislike for me.

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