(Closed) Did he ask your father first??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 62
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@NavyBride16:  That’s awesome! My dad would have loved that. I’m pretty sure they were drinking whiskey when they had the conversation, too!

My dad felt pretty strongly about it- not that he “owns” me or has any control over my life decisions, but I think it was a sign of respect thing for him. Fiance was happy to oblige and ask for his blessing. I totally get that some people think it’s old-fashioned or patriarchal, but that isn’t how it felt for my family. My dad is not really old-fashioned (we’ve been living together for 3 years plus summers during college) but he is quite sentimental. For some reason the “blessing” conversation was meaningful to him and that was ok with my Fiance and I.

Post # 63
3080 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Mine went and asked my mom and my dad. my brother was home that day too and heard the whole thing lol. 

it was for their blessing. Which my parents really like and were happy that he did that. I didn’t have a problem. I’m their only daughter so I thought it was cute 

Post # 64
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Absolutely! He knew better than to propose without my family’s blessing.  My parent’s and I are very close and my dad was SO happy and touched my husband asked him! My husband secretly took a sick day and drove up there (my family lives an hour and a half away) to take my dad to lunch and asked him then.

He certainly didn’t need anyone’s permission but it is just something to do out of respect and I think if you have respect for your future wife’s parents and family – you do it!


Post # 65
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My DH went to my house and asked both of my parents for my hand. He asked them in May and then asked me in July. My mother said she had the hardest time keeping it a secret for TWO months! lol finally, when it happened she was like “YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT FOR TWO MONTHS!!!” haha

Post # 66
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Mine didn’t, but I don’t have a very good relationship with my parents (they only had me to stay in the country).  I think it’s more meaningful for families that are close.

Post # 67
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yup he asked and I’m glad he did. He did it right before I was about to move in with him because he wanted to make sure my dad knew I would be taken care of. He’s so sweet ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 68
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

Nope. I proposed to him. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 69
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

He told my dad that he was going to propose soon, and then he did a week later. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 70
22 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

He asked. I was so happy to learn that he did. My dad was impressed with that as well.

Post # 71
1936 posts
Buzzing bee

No my husband did not. I expressly told him not too as I feel it’s an archiac tradition. If my family has issues with our relationship they should not wait 4 years into the relationship to voice them when he asks for “permission”. We got engaged and asked for their blessing after the fact.

Post # 72
2083 posts
Buzzing bee

Fiance got lucky – I don’t have a relationship with my real dad, and my step-father is now out of the picture. If he wanted to ask anyone, he’d ask my mom, and she adores him so that was a no brainer ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 73
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Fiance called my dad the day before we left for our trip. He said he forgot about it and didn’t have time to visit my dad to talk to him in person. 

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