DId he help?

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 31
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

thatgirlelle :  several people said the same thing as me. Language is important and if we don’t change the language we can’t progress. Would you say I helped plan my wedding? I help clean my house. Probably not because I’m female and its expected.

Post # 33
1812 posts
Buzzing bee

Not a whole heck of a lot. He had input on the cupcakes (of course) and his suit/shoes. I tried to get him to help with the playlists for the reception and our live guitarist (epic fail LOL). He did help me stuff things for the welcome bags. But as I think back…that was about it. He didn’t even really give opinions–I ran stuff by him and asked but he seemed to like everything I picked so ??? Hope he liked it all! 🙂 He says he did so I’ll take his word for it.

Post # 34
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

At first he fully believed that weddings were planned exclusively by women. However, I told him he had to pick 5 things, he picked the color scheme, save the dates, and as soon as he got into it he realized how fun it was to plan our day together. Instead of a day where he is just “there” it is our day and you can see that through all the little details we picked. I love how into planning and attentive to the small things. Honestly, I fell in love with him all over.

Post # 35
668 posts
Busy bee

I did the bulk of the planning. I would research and then present him with options– “do you like x, y, or z best?” And then I’d deal with contacting vendors and dealing with details. He did do some tasks on his own, though, like finding the officiant.

Post # 36
32 posts
  • Wedding: March 2018

I had predicted that he would want to have the most say in anything related to food. He has shown most enthusiasm for making meal decisions. We are given a choice between 4 course meal or buffet and he wholeheartedly voted for buffet option when he learned about the live meat carving station lol. 

He also helps me out by ranking things like website designs and vetoing invitation designs, which helps me tonnes as I most definitely need help narrowing down my options. 


Post # 37
4036 posts
Honey bee

I did almost all the planning. He went with me to choose the cake and the tuxedos and that was about it. If he had gone to choose the registry items, I’m sure he would have ended up in the TV section, of our local department store.

I must add that this was 40 years ago. My parents paid for everything (we made all the decisions). We married half-way through my senior year in college. He had already graduated and was working 3 hours away, so there were logistical problems.

I honestly don’t think he cared to voice an opinion about the choices/details; he trusted my judgement and knew that I prioritized guest hosting.

And after 40 years of marriage, it’s about the same. We paid for our daughter’s weddings; they made almost all the decisions. With the 1st he said two things “It’s 21 and up!” which almost all the weddings we attend are anyway, and “No pay, no say!” He said that a lot. We were getting all these suggestions and ideas from other people, who didn’t volunteer to contribute $1 and it got stressful, at times.

Post # 38
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

He pretty much left everything up to me and our planner.

The only things he cared about was the live band, top shelf open bar and bottles of Dom for champagne toasts.  Oh…and custom suits for him and the guys.

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