Did he (or she, or you) get down on one knee?

posted 1 year ago in Proposals
Post # 31
3085 posts
Sugar bee

We did not have what you would think of as a “will you marry me?” Proposal.  Neither of us got down on one knee.  We started discussing the possibility of marriage about 6 months into our relationship.. from the perspective of “hey it’s way too soon but I do want marriage some day. Is that something you want someday, too?”  Then we kept checking in and discussing how we felt about things, what we thought we needed to work on before getting married (Ex: we both agreed we wanted to live together for about 2 years before getting engaged).  On average, the topic of marriage came up maybe every 5-6 months.  

We were on vacation and having a glass of wine and cheese plate in a fancy hotel bar when the topic organically came up, and we mutually decided we were ready.  So we declared ourselves engaged and when we got back home, started the process of figuring out rings (we have very different style so each worked with a different jeweler and designed our own.). Once both the rings were ready, we just started wearing them, although we did go out to dinner to celebrate. 

also, thank you for making your topic so inclusive.  As a queer bee in a lesbian marriage, it can feel kind of lonely and like I don’t belong with how heteronormative so many things are phrased in regards to engagement, wedding planning, weddings, etc.

Post # 32
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

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@peanutbutterandjam:  my husband proposed on one knee in a quiet part of our favourite museum, I loved it. My sisters fiance spontaneously proposed sat on a bench, on a boat watching the NYE fireworks, no ring as he just decided to go for it in the moment. They went ring shopping together after getting home from the holiday, she loved her proposal too! 

Post # 33
476 posts
Helper bee

He was the one that proposed (kneeling), but I didn’t really care about the kneeling or not part. I did care that there was a ring involved though, even if it was 3 sizes too big and we had to pay extra for it to be recast to the right size.

And as for asking, I personally would have been fine being the one who proposed (I even asked out my own prom dates as a teenager!), but DH really wanted to be the one to so I was ok with that since it seemed like it meant a lot to hi, to have control over the proposal. 

Post # 34
1933 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

No, not on one knee and no ring. I think we were sitting on a low wall? It was perfect just the way it was 🙂

Post # 35
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

He did the classic down on one knee. Initially when we discussed it he wasn’t thrilled with the idea as it felt kind of foreign to him (of course, he’s never been down on one knee for anyone else before!), but after I told him I thought it was a sweet gesture and I’d like it, he didn’t press the point further and surprised me by indeed getting down on one knee for the proposal. It makes me happy to know that it makes him happy to make me happy.

Mind you he didn’t stay on one knee for long, just long enough to pop the question. He did his official speech just before this, while we were strolling on a secluded trail in Banff.

And yes he did have a Tiffany ring ready 🙂 I had no input on the ring whatsoever but I didn’t mind, I never looked into rings before anyway so I had 0 ideas or preferences in mind. I thought it was natural for him to pick one out for me and surprise me with it. All I wanted was that it would be a diamond ring.

Post # 36
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - France

No, I didn’t care for the whole theatrics of getting down on one knee and we were alone in my bedroom. I told him no big gestures because I don’t like the attention. I don’t remember the words he said but remember thinking it was perfect even if the ring was too big.

Post # 37
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

He didn’t kneel because he didn’t propose. We discussed it together and decided we wanted to get married 

Post # 38
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My ex-fi did, and I thought it was what I wanted, but when he actually kneeled I told him to get up again because I really didn’t like it after all! I surprised myself with my reaction. It didn’t feel romantic to me like I’d expected, it felt weird and grovelling! I much preferred being face to face. 

My husband did not, but he proposed very early and I said no until 7 months later, so also hardly the conventional dream! 


Post # 39
1555 posts
Bumble bee

My fiance is very traditional so it didn’t surprise me that he went down on one knee to ask.  I couldn’t have cared if he did it on one knee, sitting, standing or standing on his head!  I was just so delighted to be asked.  Although I did suspect he might be about to ask when he suddenly started breathing funny, as if he was very nervous (he was!)

I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing, but I don’t know anyone in the UK who discussed a proposal or chose a ring beforehand, as I see mentioned so often on this forum.  Usually, there is a sense that the relationship is moving toward marriage, but the whole ‘pick out the ring I’ll propose to you with’ or ‘where would you like me to propose?’ thing doesn’t seem to happen here.  Each to their own, but I’d find it odd personally – if I knew beforehand how, when and where my fiance was going to propose and I’d already told him I’d accept…well, we’d already be engaged so the proposal would feel redundant!

Post # 40
9366 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

He dropped to a knee and pulled out the ring – I thought it was sweet. It’s not like he was hanging out down there for long though! I pulled him up to hug him fairly quickly and we were standing next to each other when I actually finally took a look at the ring and he put in on me. 

Post # 41
654 posts
Busy bee

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@gimmepretty:  Same! A series of conversations really, where we discussed our future. In the beginning we just talked about what marriage and kids eventually. Then a few months later we talked more openly about wanting those things together and how/when that might happen. I knew he had asked for his Grandmothers ring but he told me he wanted to wait to make it official until after his travel season at work. That was fine. A month or so before his travel season we were making dinner and talking about it more when I asked if he wanted to do a traditional proposal. He told me he would do it if I wanted it but he honestly didn’t care. I said it didn’t make sense to me so wait for a proposal when we both know we want to get married. So once his travel season was over we decided to announce our engagement at the next Holiday since we’d be seeing both our families. No asking, no knee bending. He didn’t even put the ring on my finger when it arrived. He opened the box and showed me and I just put it on. 

I like our story. The only people who ask how he proposed are older ladies (relatives and friends of my parents mainly). I really enjoy telling them that there was no proposal we discussed marriage as equal partners and agreed to get engaged. 

It helps that I really lack any sort of romantic bone

Post # 42
10315 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

He got down on one knee. 

Post # 43
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

My husband took me to London for our one year anniversary. On the day of our anniversary he brought me flowers and my favorite Starbucks in the morning, later in the evening he took me to Hyde Park and told me he had organized a photographer for a one year anniversary shooting. (I am dressed kinda touristy as I didn’t know what was going to happen) During the golden hour we made it to the Fountain of Joy of Life and he proposed. On one knee. With the most gorgeous and perfect dream ring. 

Post # 44
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts

Yes, he kneeled. It was in our office. I was very confused at first. Apparently he had psyched himself up in the laundry room lol. Came upstairs, told me to get out of my computer chair. I was again like “what’s going on?”. Then he got down on one knee and I said “what are you doing?” I thought he was messing with me haha. Then he started with his little speech and was soo so nervous, showed me the ring, and asked! I woudln’t have wanted it any other way.

Post # 45
407 posts
Helper bee

We were walking by the lake. It was something we had done with regularity, so I didn’t expect anything. It was drizzling out, but I really wanted to walk/exercise. When we decided to head back, he got down on one knee. I started crying immediately and repeating “are you serious?” a few times while he was saying what he was saying. It was a rush of adrenaline, so I honestly have no idea what he said. 

He knows me well and takes pride in that – he had planned and schemed to surprise me. I thought we were still looking at rings up until the night before he proposed. After he proposed, we attended a play he had tickets for in a nearby city and stayed at a bed and breakfast. It was really a sweet way to start our engagement, taking the weekend for just ourselves. 

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