Post # 1
We sent out beautiful invitations to our wedding, which included a Monogram. I used the married name we will share and have since read this is not proper! I’m freaked out this will be noticed and I feel bad about not realizing this. Is this a pretty well-known rule? Is this a huge deal?
Post # 10
No, I put my maiden name on the invitation. It’s just the botton corner has the first letter of my fiance’s name, as a monogram, like as a decoration. I didnt even think twice about it! 🙁
Post # 11
This is a well-known rule among people my age (which I would imagine is about your grandma’s age). Obviously it isn’t that well known among your peers (witness the bemusement of your peers here on this board). So, your own friends won’t think twice about it. Your fiance’s great aunts will go “tut, tut, she probably didn’t know any better; but she’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?” In between are a whole bunch of people who — if they notice at all — will shrug and say “well, everything’s changed nowadays; I suppose that’s become the done thing.”
ETA actually, if it’s just an initial in one corner, the rare people who notice may just think you’ve put it on in honour of your husband-to-be and not consider that you had any idea of using it as your own monogram.
Post # 12
I didn’t even think about that either. I definitely used his last name initial on our wedding invites for monograms. Really, we’re getting married and it will be my last name so its a mute point. I hardly doubt any of your guests will even notice it.
Post # 13
so you used your soon to be married first initial surname – its the same thing i would have done to be honest and i would have thought it would be considered quite the normal thing to do
Post # 14
No problem in my mind but I’m pretty lax about those kinda things.
Post # 15
Oh dont freak out. I think that is perfectly acceptable.
Post # 15
I’ve seen this done plenty of times. I think you’re overthinking it. 🙂
Post # 16
Never, ever knew this.
First pearls are bad luck.
Now a forbidden letter on the invite.
Post # 17
Yes, it is considered improper but it’s probably not that big of a deal in the scheme of things. Feel free and proper, however, to order your thank you notes with your married monogram:)
Anyway, I think I would have been more superstitious than worried about a breach of etiquette. Luckily, you don’t have long to wait. lol
Post # 18
Who is it to say what is or isnt proper? I cant stand the whole “ohhh my gosh, thats an etiquette no-no” PPPFFFTTTTTT is all I have to say about that! Although my maiden name in on the invitation itself, I put our married Monogram on the back seal of our envelopes and was tickled pink to do so. You definately shouldnt worry about it. Any one that cares about you wont be bothered by it at all.
Post # 19
I did it, but my FI’s grandma said it was really cute, and she is VERY conservative, so I doubt anyone will care. (Might be different in Holland where she is from)
Post # 20
we did that for our invatiation! On the front of it we had an “R” which is the first letter of my new last name. I didnt think about it for a minute!
Post # 21
Thank you all for making me feel so much better!! 🙂
Post # 22
OHH in that case, I wouldn’t worry at all. It’s just a monogram!! If your actual maiden name is on the invitiation, no one will think twice! 🙂