Did I do the right thing?

posted 2 years ago in Military
Post # 16
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee

Block him. Move on from his constant lies and gaslighting. 

Although SOME cheaters repent after the first time, your ex has a solid history of constant cheating and lying. If you take him back, he’s going to cheat on you again. Then lie about it.  Then he will tell you that you are the crazy one. Do you want that?

Your emotions are a game to him. He’s mad because you “won” by tossing him to the curb. He wants to play another round which 100% will end in him cheating on you.

Post # 17
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

elizabmac123 :  1000 times yes, you did the right thing. If this was a one-off thing, I could maybe even begin to entertain the thought that it wasn’t actually true but you’ve caught him countless times in lies and he’s admitted to cheating on multiple occassions to friends. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking this is in any way your fault. He is a lying, cheating, scumbag, and you were absolutely right to leave because this will continue for the rest of your LIFE if you stay.

Boy, bye!

Post # 18
Member
1593 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

elizabmac123 :  He is a cheater and a liar. He is disrespectful to you and disloyal. When he doesn’t get what he wants out of these girls, he comes running back to you, a real woman. A woman who stands by her man. But you’re standing by the WRONG one and for the wrong reasons, but you know that, right? Stop going back to him and second guessing yourself. I would also get checked out at the Doctor ASAP. I’m serious. 

He is manipulative, too, ‘this is your fault”. Oh b*tch please! He’s not man enough to admit he is the one who fudged over the entire relationship by filandering with everyone else besides you. 

Your brain made the right decision, the logical decision, to cut out this disease before it turned into an epidemic and side swipes your whole life, your future, and you. Now you’re questioning your good judgement? No girl. Forget him!

He needs to get over himself. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, you deserve better. RESPECT yourself!!

 

Post # 19
Member
601 posts
Busy bee

You did the right thing. Please move on and find a better guy! This guy didn’t respect you, lied & cheated on you multiple times. You are so much better off without him. Enjoy your time alone. You’re only 25 and have plenty of time to find a man that’ll love & respect you. 

Sounds like your ex never even took responsibility for his actions, for hurting you nor apprologized. Instead he CONTINUES to blame YOU for the relationship not working out.

He said “you gave back the ring you walked away not me I didn’t do this”

What a jerk!

Post # 20
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I know this is really hard right now and hurts a lot. But your doing the right thing! My first relationship was similar to yours, very toxic. I was cheated on and lied to all the time to the point where I thought I deserved it and couldn’t do any better. 

With time and healing you will feel confident in your decision. Never let a man treat you like that again and do not settle. You deserve much better! 

One thing that helped me was blocking him from social media and saving his number as do not pick up or anything that will make you remember not to respond to him. He is not worth your effort or time. 

Stay strong Bee! 

Post # 21
Member
6828 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Um yeah you did the right thing. he sounds like a fucking asshole. 

Post # 22
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee

Unless you want him to cheat on you forever, you did the right thing. Try to move forward and stop thinking about what could have been. He sounds like a serial cheater. 

Post # 23
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

Girl. Are you kidding me?

Post # 24
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

He’s not worth it.  Find a man who is. 

Post # 25
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

First. He’s a cheater. Do you want to marry a cheater?  Next,  let’s assume that he wasn’t a cheater but just goes around telling all of your mutual friends that he’s a cheater…. Is that really any better? He’s a man who would, at the very least, disrespect you to all of his friends on a regular basis. Do you want to be with someone who would treat you like that? 

He’s not your friend. Friends don’t act like that. He’s certainly not marriage material.

Plus. He actually is a cheater. 

Post # 26
Member
1395 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

Oh honey, he sounds like a true scum bag. While it did take you a while, you did everything right in leaving him. Block him on every media under the sun and move on with your life.

Post # 27
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Um, no. The only mistake you made was staying with a cheating asshole for five years. Clearly all he does is lie and cheat, and that 100% will never change. Block his number and remove all contact from him on social media. If you go back to him, it will be exactly the same. That is NOT what you want in a husband (or a best friend IMHO).

Post # 28
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Only you can make that choice. 

Is it possible to rebuild a relationship after multipul infidelities? Yes. But is is also very very difficult and both parties need to be on the same page about it and both work towards rebuildings. 

Is it possible that walking away is the best thing for you? Yes. But it isn’t easy. 

You need to decide…
1) What will you put up with?
2) Will he truly help you rebuild the trust and relationship?

Post # 29
Member
14965 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You should probably go get tested for Save-The-Date Cards too….

Post # 30
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You did absolutely the right thing.

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