Did I do the right thing? Possibly long.

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4924 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

BeeinBlush :  

I think you did the right thing. You can support her by helping her find rehab programs and such. You can support her in ways other than having her stay in your house. Keep in touch with her and help her find the help that she needs.

Honestly, I think you made a mature and informed decision.

Post # 3
Member
10033 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You did the right thing.  She’s 23, not 12.  However, is there a way you can try to help her find a place to get some help or into a treatment program?

Post # 4
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee

You absolutely did the right thing.  Your Little Sister is an adult. While her grandmother’s attitude is unfortunate, and the timing is certainly not great, there are other resources she can access and use, and due to your job experience, you could help her find these. 

My suggestion would be that you dedicate what time you can to her.  Focus on you and your growing family, but also offer to help her come up with a plan to get sober.  You have a relationship with her grandmother, so as soon as you’ve formulated the plan, reach out and let her know what you and Little Sister came up with.  If there is a plan in place, the grandmother may be more willing to let her stay.  

You are the only one who knows how much time you have to spare, but maybe set aside an evening per week to check in and follow up.  Perhaps dinner together.  Maybe accompany her to her AA meetings.  It would be the support she needs from you without you having someone else in your home 24/7.  

Post # 5
Hostess
7903 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

BeeinBlush :  I think you did the right thing bee. You and your baby come first. There will be plenty of ways in which you can love and support and help her without having her under your roof. 

Post # 6
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

You did the right thing for you and your baby. If I were you, I would still offer emotional support and guidance and try to help her find a place to go.

Post # 11
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee

BeeinBlush :  Skype dinner dates work just as well!  You’re an awesome Big Sister, she is lucky to have you.  

Another thought, if she’s struggling after a time has passed, is that perhaps there is a program in your area that will help her with treatment and lodging.  That way, she can be closer to you without actually living with you.  If part of the issue is her environment, it might be best for her to move. 

Post # 12
Member
4924 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

BeeinBlush :  

She is incredibly lucky to have you.

Post # 15
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

BeeinBlush :  definitely. While the situation sucks, you have to think about more than just how it would affect her. She is an adult and by helping and guiding her, it will do more for her in the end then just having you take care of her.

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