(Closed) Did I do the right thing?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My gut reaction is to just walk away and move on.


I think that says it all, you’ll find someone who doesn’t have these doubts!

Post # 4
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think this was the right decision for the both of you. I think I would give him time, but there will definitely be a point where he needs to stop thinking and start acting, so don’t let him string you along because he is too afraid to let go.

I can only speak from personal experience, and I know each person and relationship is different, but I am definitely in the “when you know, you know” category. I dated a guy for four years and it was tough. We fought a lot, it was difficult, I loved and cared for him because we had built a life around each other, but the good times never outweighed the bad in the end. I would always try to fool myself by saying, “but when things are good, they are really good” which just sounds like something a woman in an abusive relationship would say. Looking back, NO they were not that good. We were not a good fit and when I walked away it was HARD because I knew I was leaving a sure thing. If I had hung around, we probably would have eventually gotten engaged, and I would have been miserable. 

During those four years I waffled back and forth on the marriage issue. Some days I was so in love with him I wanted nothing more than to get engaged, others I was disgusted with the idea. I think he probably felt the same about me. After we broke up I met my current fiance. It just clicked. Our relationship is like breathing. It’s not hard, it just works. We rarely fight or argue about anything, and certainly not about big things. We work together and live together and we’re an awesome team. I started looking at engagement rings online two or three weeks into our relationship. It just felt right. We had the marriage talk a few months later and we were both on the same page. 

I guess my point is that good relationships shouldn’t be this hard. Your boyfriend is 33 years old, not a young boy, but a man who should know what he wants in life. As you said, I think you DO deserve someone who knows he wants to marry you. 

Post # 6
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My gut reaction is to just walk away and move on. I tell myself I deserve someone who doesn’t have a doubt about me at all…. My plan is to take this moment in time to just not worry about him. I need to tend to my wounded heart/ego and realize how awesome I am regardless of his answer. I’m def sad but I already have some much needed activities lined up to keep my mind off of things. I will hope for the best but prepare for the worst.



All of this.  You are doing the right thing. go with your gut.

So sorry this is happening though.

Post # 7
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My gut reaction is to just walk away and move on. I tell myself I deserve someone who doesn’t have a doubt about me at all. But that would be unfair to him I think. If he wants to make a rational decsison on things then he has the right. I have the same right as well. 

@handcraftedG33k:  In my experience, the gut is ususally correct.  Listen to it.

Post # 9
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Glad things have improved.At least he is working towards making himself a better man.Good luck!

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