Post # 1
I need to know if I handled this appropriately or if I’m a Bridezilla..because I’m feeling pretty awful about it. I’m usually a pretty flexible, open-minded, caring individual, but this issue has made me feel a little mean.
So my venue is pretty small and has a maximum cutoff number for guests. My fiance and I wanted to invite our closest friends and family only to this wedding. My mom wanted me to invite a few additional people (her friends) to our wedding. I realize that this is a very special day for her as well since it is her child and she wants her special friends to be there. To be honest, one particular friend she wanted to invite is someone who I don’t care for (she used to talk down my father to my mom, is out of touch, etc). I didn’t want to invite this woman at all, but my mom insisted. To not hurt my mom’s feelings, I chose to invite this woman and her husband only (they have two adult/early 20s children). I wrote “Mr & Mrs ____” on the envelope of their invitation and for their RSVP only listed “MR & Mrs____” (so as to imply that only they were invited since I’m near capacity at my venue). As it turns out, they now want to bring their two children. I realize it’s only two additonal people, but I think I’m about to go over my venue capacity and I will not have enough seats or food for two more people (as I think there might be a few more extras in the bunch). I will also be fined by my venue if we go over capacity.
Anyway, I told my mom this, that I only invited the parents and that I might not have room for the kids. Uggg I feel like a jerk about it though. I mean, it is only two people. I just didn’t want to invite these people from the start….
Help! Did I do the right thing to say something? How can I look at this situation. I feel so bad. )o:
Post # 3
this is not your fault, if they would have read the invite they would know that it is not acceptable to bring their adult children. good for you for standing your ground!
Post # 4
Nothing you did was wrong, what your guests did was wrong. Stop beating yourself up over it!
Post # 5
If you are over capacity, then they can’t come. It’s not like you invited their children. I feel that they are being rude by adding people to the guest list.
Post # 6
Don’t feel like a jerk. I think you were super nice by inviting the couple you didn’t even want to be there. My mom had a friend she wanted to invite (and it was only one person) and I said – NO WAY. 😉
So – tell you mom that she got to invite her friend and their spouse, but you cannot and don’t want to invite the adult kids. Trust me, she’ll get over it and so will the couple.
And, btw, it’s rude for them to ask to bring them, when they clearly weren’t invited.
Post # 8
I was just feeling bad about it because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I feel better now.
Post # 9
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. We’ve just started telling people we are AT fire code and cannot have any more because it’s true. You did the right thing.
Post # 10
If there’s no room…there’s no room. Nothing you can do about it. Weddings are expensive enough without having to deal with penalties and crap. You aren’t being a Bridezilla at all, just following the rules of the venue.
Post # 11
You have every right not to allow them to add their children. That was rude that they tried to anyways – especially if your not close with them (I highly doubt your buddy-buddy with the kids then either!). I bet your mom will understand if you keep standing your ground!! 🙂
Post # 12
Yeah I would agree. You are correct in the way that you are feeling. We had one couple (FI’s Brother’s Inlaws) who even though their invite stated just them they RSVP’d along with their adult daughter and their other daughter who is 12. I brought it up with my Fiance and we agreeded it numbers became an issue then he was going to talk with them and let them know that their daughters were not invited. The thing is it still frustrates me and I feel myself getting worked up over it each time I think about it.
Post # 13
no thats perfectly acceptable. you can only allow the mr & mrs. it’s pretty simple. they’re lucky their invited, never mind their kids!
Post # 14
I just want to agree with everyone and tell you that you are TOTALLY in the right and not being a bridezilla at all…. for all the reasons listed above : )
Post # 15
No, THEY are being rude. Guestzillas.
Post # 16
@JennyW1: Guestzillas. Love it.
Totally agree with everyone above. Put that foot down girl!