(Closed) Did I mess anything up?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@FSUGirl99:  I know how you feel!! Every time my SO mentioned buying a $6000 heater for his garage, I cringed inwardly. I would have a complete panic attack in my head. You can’t help but think these things! I don’t think you messed anything up at all. It doesn’t sound like he was upset or anything. And I feel like he brought it up again the next day to assure you that he did have the money. My SO had his little ways of telling me he had the money for a ring, probably so I wouldn’t panic.

It sounds like he was just letting you know he’s got it under control. At least now that you’ve said something, you know he does have a plan, so that’s a bonus! But I really don’t you ruined anything by just asking that! I doubt he could get scared off that easily or let one little question bother him that much!

Post # 5
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@FSUGirl99:  Is it moreso bothering you that he keeps saying “yeah, I’ve done this before” kind of comments? I know that would upset me! So if that’s the part making you upset, I would definitely say something. Other than that, I agree with Emily, he sounds like he’s got it together and won’t disappoint! Good luck!!

Post # 6
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sounds fine to me ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@FSUGirl99:  I don’t think you are overreacting at all!! Those are all thoughts that go through my head and I think they are perfectly normal!

I think that is a great mentality to have actually, and complete opposite of so many others! You are right though, he should propose when he wants to, and he will do it when he wants to! Obviously I don’t know him, but just those few comments make it sound like he’s got it under control and he’s going to do it how he wants to.

Oh April isn’t too far off!! And that sounds like a fantastic vacation!! I hope he makes it even more special! If you figure out how to get inside his head, please share, I’d pay good money for that! haha .

Well my timeline is March, I think that’s why I’m getting so antsy now haha. I was lead to believe ring shopping would begin in December and he told me It wouldn’t be coming that month, but soon… He’s also hinted that he knows my timeline and that it will be way before that… But seriously, men are so cryptic.

 

Post # 8
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

@FSUGirl99:  I don’t think you messed up at all. Married couples need to communicate about emotions and money and everything else. I think it would be strange if you didn’t feel comfortable talking about that sort of thing. 

Post # 10
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FSUGirl99:  I think you were alot more tactful about it than I might have been.  My SO got a bonus at Christmas and mentioned stuff he wanted to buy and I didnt miss a beat with the “…dont forget you have something else to save for!”  <—not so cute.

So no, I think you were fine.

…I would have given him a smack for the “not-my-first-rodeo” comments though ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 11
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

 

@FSUGirl99:  My SO will be 40 in a couple months, so trust me, I get it.  Get the lead out already, men!!

Post # 12
Member
5002 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

So he has 1 year and 8 months before he’s planning to propose? He can probably save up more money by then! Heck, even next year’s tax return. I wouldn’t sweat it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
Member
585 posts
Busy bee

Doesn’t sound like you ruined anything at all! You sounded very calm and reasonable, and had a legitimate question.

At least… if you ruined it then I did too, lol! Almost the same thing happened to me last night when we were at dinner. He was talking about some things he wants/needs to spend money on (a new paint job for his sports car, a little Honda or something to drive to work as he doesn’t want to put a lot of miles on his nice car). We also have to buy a bed asap. So all this money talk and I blurt out, “so where does my ring factor in on all this??” lol. He just smiled and said “All you need to know is that it does factor in.” ๐Ÿ˜› Not nearly a satisfactory answer, but it’ll have to do.

Post # 15
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I did the exact same thing. There was some money last August and he was listing things he wanted/needed to spend it on and I said “what about my ring” and he just laughed at me and said “don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about that!”

We didn’t get engaged until the end of October which was several months past my patience expiring. We had originally had a timeline of when the money came in and I had to wait and it was horrible for me because we live together AND have full custody of his two children so I was already mommy and wifey without the ring…..all’s well that ends well and we are very happy but if I had to do it again I wouldn’t have moved in without that ring!

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