Did I mess up my invites?

posted 6 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
378 posts
Helper bee

The fact that people find this cringeworthy… is cringeworthy. OP, it’s fine. I think most people in real life are more down to earth than people on here and they probably won’t give a crap lol

Post # 17
327 posts
Helper bee

Agree with @valencia247. I wouldn’t feel offended or cringe or care about that line at all.

Post # 18
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Literally out of the 4 weddings I went to last year, all 4 had something similar written on the invites. I wouldn’t bat an eye. A wedding is a gift giving event, wether etiquette says the invite has to be about you hosting or not, I’m turning up with a gift or putting cash in your card so it’s good to know. 

Post # 19
135 posts
Blushing bee

valencia247 :  +1

OP, I would not care if I received an invitation that addressed gifts. Save your money!

Post # 20
13461 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s cringey and inappropriate, but I probably wouldn’t go through the hassle and expense of having them reprinted if I were you. 

Post # 21
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Only some bees on this site will give a sh$t. As long as no one from this site is invited then no one will care! 

It’s really not that deep!

Post # 22
7142 posts
Busy Beekeeper

glitterweddingbee :  people in real life won’t say anything but that doesn’t mean they won’t think it’s tacky. I’ve definitely received invites with  mentions of gifts (registries and requests for no gifts and requests to donate to a specific charity instead) and I still love my friends but I roll my eyes and judge them. My husband is the only one who knows the extent of my judging on etiquette issues though. 

Post # 23
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

You had a reason for putting it on there, so don’t let the opinions of internet strangers sway you. I agree with some PPs that most people won’t give it a second glance. The only time when I have found the mentioning of presents or gifts tacky is when people ask for money in lieu of gifts. While what you said is “untraditional” according to etiquette it is by no means cringey or worthy of an invite reprint. 

Post # 24
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I’m confused by people saying there should be no mention of gifts at all on invites. I get the etiquette but literally every single invite I have ever received includes a registry, charity, or whatever. I was never offended by it, it’s a gift giving event and made it much easier for me to figure out what to give. How else are you supposed to convey this info? Is having a registry frowned upon too? Wedding websites weren’t always a thing. Word of mouth is inconvenient for everyone. 

Leave your invites as they are. I’d probably still give you a card with money though if I received an invite like that. 

Post # 25
760 posts
Busy bee

valencia247 :  I completely agree! Some of the Bees here take ‘etiquette’ way too far, esp since we live in a much less traditional world than ever before.

If you are otherwise happy with your invites, send them. Literally no one will care, if anything the pressure is off to find a gift/give a monetary gift. It’s not as though you are ASKING for a gift – now that would be cringeworthy!

Post # 26
206 posts
Helper bee

tduck1 : I really wouldn’t worry, especially if it is already done and just on the RSVPs. The last invites I have gotten have all included a card with a poorly executed poem asking for cash… I would much prefer to get your invite but to be honest I would give a gift anyway! 

Post # 27
1196 posts
Bumble bee

There is real life and there are bees. In general bees are a lot more unforgiving with everything including the etiquette. No need for reprinting. Every invite I’ve ever gotten has had all the information. If not in the invite then in a piece of paper in the invite. This includes the hotel info, map, gifts (usually mention of an account where you can do money transfer). So it’s not cringy and no need to worry. 

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