(Closed) Did I overreact?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
5 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

No you shouldn’t apologize! She obviously isn’t a very good friend. She basically said a penis is worth driving 4hrs to but you’re not worth a 45 min drive! That’s nuts! Who does that? I think you did the right thing.

Post # 4
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You might have physically overreacted (with the yelling) BUT I completely understand why. If I had been in your shoes, after her answer to the question, I would have finished the conversation and not bothered with her ever again. It clearly seems like she doesn’t value the friendship quite as much as you do.

Post # 5
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Don’t feel bad! I would have done the same thing. If you want you can apologize and if she’s a true friend she’ll apologize too and tell you that she will come and support you on your big day no matter what.

Post # 6
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I think you and I have the same friend.

I agree with the PP that while the yelling may have been a bit much I understand that it was probably years of pent up frustration finally coming out. Having been in your situation last year I can say to just let it go and give her space. She is obviously more of a taker than an equal friend with give AND take. Focus on your wedding and let her have the opportunity to do the right thing by putting your friendship first over a random male.

Post # 7
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think you have anything to apologize for, it is bullshit that she can’t come be there for you on such an important day in your life just because she is single. What a crappy so-called friend!

Post # 8
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have a friend like that, I lived about 20 (or 45ish she moved) minutes away from her and she had been to our house…ummm twice, before we moved to another country…and the she only came at the end of the two years. I literally bend over backwards, and would do anything for her but she could not come visit me, her bf didnt want to drive “all that way” to hand out with me and my SO so they just didnt come…but every time she invited me out I would go, no matter where it was….and she returned the favor twice and I only think ti was because I was moving away and she wouldnt be able to see me in 20 minutes or less again…. (I also kinda think she realized what she was doing and has changed a little for the better)


I 100% agree with your reaction…maybe the yelling was a bit much but if she was such a good friend she would be such a, pardon my language, bitch…

Post # 10
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would have yelled her ass into next Tuesday..

Just saying.

I had a friend like that once and we dont see or really speak to each other anymore. Too much taking and no giving on their part. Your friendship should be a priority to her and 45 minutes is NOT a far trip. Buh.

Post # 11
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with all the previous posters. She’s not worth you time or energy. That is a total one sided friendship. Screw her. 4 hours for penis is okay but not for your friends wedding. Thats a bitch.

Post # 12
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t even bother calling or texting her back. Wedding planning is hectic enough not to mention dealing with self-centered people. If people can’t be there just for the simple fact of supporting you and your future husband’s union, then they shouldn’t be there at all. IMO.

Post # 13
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I used to have a friend like that up until a year ago… I finally lost it and told her how I felt too and she still didn’t feel bad. She said I was in the wrong, I just let it go and cut my ties.


Post # 14
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i read your post twice, i tried to see things your friends way just in case but yeah, im not seeing it – if she is prepared to drive 4hrs for some guy she met online but not 45mins for a friend then her priorities are wrong. i know going to a wedding alone isnt a great deal of fun but its not the end of the world either and for a friend you suck up the social awkwardness and smile

friendship goes both ways but she seems to want it all about her and thats not fair

Post # 15
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think you over-reacted….sounds like a sub-par friend as PPs stated due to the ditching you over men she just met thing.  I guess it’s good that she’s not a bridesmaid….

Post # 16
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

….she has never been to your house? and it’s been four years? Now that’s crazy!

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