(Closed) did I pick the wrong date?

posted 10 years ago in Logistics
Post # 32
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i will give you a perspective from the other side-

 

My sister set her 1st wedding date as my birthday when I was a teenager. It was terrible. As a middle kid I get lost in the shuffle all the time, as I am neither of my parents’ favorite. That year NO ONE remembered my birthday. I got no cards, no presents, no special mention at the wedding. Nothing. When I mumbled about it being my birthday to my parents, I was basically told it was my sister’s day and to shut up.  It really upset me and made me feel like no one loved me. I still resent my sister for choosing that date, of ALL the dates available in the while world, for her wedding.

 

I can understand your situation, but frankly, having been in your sister’s shoes (even if she’s an adult and I was a teenager), I would see if you could pick something else. You don’t want your wedding to be a lifelong sore spot between you.

Post # 33
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I just wanted to add that that birthday was my Sweet 16. I was hoping it’d be somethign special, and it was, but not for me. For me it was a nightmare, since I was the Maid/Matron of Honor and my birthday was totally ignored.

Post # 34
Member
594 posts
Busy bee

I am super close to my sister. And Birthdays are a huge deal in our family. I would never ever plan anything on or even near her birthday. So if you don’t have lots of plans set (deposits and contracts) I would say change it. Something like this could cause tensions for along time after the wedding. But thats just me.

Post # 35
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

wow, I’d be super pissed if my brother got married on my birthday.

That said, your sister may not be like me — can you call, tell her you’re having second thoughts on the date, and ask if she’d rather you not get married on her birthday?

It might help to also remember that this isn’t just going to be a one-year conflict: not only are you getting married on her birthday, you will also have an anniversary on her birthday every year – does your family get together for stuff like that? Will you and your husband constantly have to be choosing whether to go out/away to celebrate your anniversary, or be with your family to celebrate your sister?

Post # 36
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Change the date.  Be the bigger person.  I can understand how she would be upset if out of all the 365 days in the year that you, her own sister, had to pick her birthday.  At best it’s an unintentional mistake, at worst it’s kind of lame & somewhat disrespectful of her feelings.

Yes you are both adults but adults should be respectful of one another.  I’ve heard of other cases like rabbit’s above and although you have the best intentions now, we all know how easy it is during the hustle & bustle of a wedding to forget things.

If it were me, I would pick another date.

Post # 37
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

haha unless your sister is 5, you can just go ahead and have the wedding whenever you feel like it.  I love birthdays, but come on, we are adults!  If you really are stuck on that day, don’t feel bad about it.  I don’t see the big deal.

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