did i ruin my life? Help!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

“It almost felt abusive.”

You need to take almost out of that sentence. Just because someone is paying you doesn’t mean that they aren’t abusive. A demanding job with long hours is one thing, and that may not be a fit for you. But a job with misleadingly long hours out of spite is abusive. 

I agree with prior wording. Also, it is entirely possible that your previous employer is well known for their shenanigans. 

Post # 17
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
girlfromtexas1088 :  

I used to be a career councilor. Just say my last position was not a good fit for me. I’m looking for something with more work life balance like at your company. For example, i love that you have weekends off vs being on call every weekend.

Honestly, my DH was in a situation like yours and just said he wasn’t willing to work more than 12 hrs a day and be on call 1 weekend a month, and his new employers were impressed cuz no one else would have done that.

Post # 18
Member
2544 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You did not ruin your life. I have left a couple of jobs due to unreasonable job expectations. Just don’t say anything negative about your previous employer. Keep a positive spin on why you left them. (The PP’s suggestions are good ones.) 

Post # 19
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

I’m glad your FH supported you quitting. Wedding aside you need some life balance and respect.  The next thing is out there!

Post # 20
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills

Yeah that’s abuse. 

I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for years and kudos to you for leaving a toxic situation. Your life is FAR from ruined. My boss is a dream at my current job (although I’m half out of the business and plan to leave it entirely after my own wedding) but I’ve been in your shoes, working with high profile people, with more than a few abusive bosses along the way and quite frankly, sacrificing your sanity just isn’t worth it no matter how “glamorous” the position is. Life is short. A toxic environment like that can destroy your mental health before you know it. I’ve seen it happen to so many people I worked my way up in the industry with. 

Agree with PPs to not badmouth but just say the position was not a fit when you interview. This industry is grueling and there is so much turnover anyway that it really shouldn’t hurt your chances getting another job. 

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