Post # 1
So I’ve been involved in the ring shopping process, picking out my stone, setting (we are now deciding on metal), negotiating the price and hopefully completing the purchase within the next two weeks or so.
Did I ruin the proposal? I keep wondering if I will be excited. I’ve always wanted a surpise proposal…
I told my bf to not show me the ring and wait (so that Im surprised), but what if the ring doesn’t turn out like I wanted? We only have a 30 day money back guarantee.
Did any bees take part in the ring buying process? Did it affect your proposal? Any advice or suggestions? Please share your story, thank you!
Post # 2
I don’t think you ruined proposal. You are involved in getting a ring that you like. When and how he proposes is still a surprise. If he really surprised you a ghastly ring, you would be posting a different title on this forum!
Post # 3
It’ll only ruin your proposal if you let it? If you’re excited to be marrying your SO, you’ll be excited to be engaged. If the ring doesn’t turn out how you want, then it’ll just be a case of taking it to the jeweler to make some tweaks. No big deal.
Post # 4
my diamond was my grandmother’s, i gave Darling Husband ideas on what i wanted my ring to look like and he had it designed, i knew the exact date of my proposal, but i didn’t know the how.
my proposal was still magical.
Post # 5
That’s not your proposal that’s your ring.
Do you know when you’re being proposed to? If not, then it’s still a surprise.
Post # 6
engie : Hell, I was involved in the ring talk, the budgeting, loan (it ended up being cheaper with a payment plan and expect to pay if off before interest rate hits), everything. I also didn’t want to see it when completed, for the surprise element, but I accidentally sneaked a peak – thank goodness I did, since the jeweler did it wrong and had to fix. My fiancee is so bad at surprises – he’s so smug and happy with himself all the time (including holidays and bday’s) that he even said how he would propose. Yet, even knowing that, he put such thought and attention – even brought a tripod – that it still was beautiful and romantic. The words matter, the sentiment matter, and even the actual proposal – could have been just at home – was just as special and romantic. The actual moment brings tears to the eyes, even when knowing it, same as I know I’ll be when we exchange vows.
You did not ruin your proposal, you are both just ensuring that you receive what you both will love, it’s an important buy. Remember, this is just the ring, not the proposal.
Post # 7
I went to the jeweler with my husband (the fiancé). We picked the stone and designed the setting together. When they sent him a 3d rendering before making the ring he showed it to me for approval:)
I knew exactly what day the ring was delivered to him and was pretty sure he would propose the next time we saw each other, which he did do.
It was still incredibly special and I was so happy to be engaged that I’ve never once considered it to be less in any way just because I knew it was coming and knew what the ring looked.
It was still one of the happiest days of my life.
Post # 8
My proposal was not at all the surprise I wanted it to be… btu I don’t care because it still means I get to marry the person I want to, and we have a funny story instead.
Post # 9
No. A lot of people don’t have surprise proposals/rings. Totally normal in this day and age.
Post # 10
sensoda : Ditto. Mine was not all magic and butterflies, but I’m just happy we’re together.
My husband proposed with a $15 placeholder ring from Macy’s, which I think was a really smart idea (why don’t more people do this?), and I was involved in the entire ring-making process. I chose the diamond, setting, and set the budget. It was nice going ring-shopping together, and this all happened after the proposal, so it didn’t ruin the proposal at all.
Post # 11
engie : I helped my SO pick out my engagement ring and it actually made the process so much less stressful for him. Yes, I knew a proposal was coming but it was still very special. We stayed at a bed and breakfast at our favorite winery and as I was waking up in the morning he slipped the ring on my figure and told me how much he loved me and asked me to marry him. Totally worth it. I got the ring I wanted and he didnt have to stress about picking out a ring. Plus the ring I wanted was significatly cheaper than the ones he was looking at getting me so it worked out well and saved him money
Post # 12
Thank you Bees!
merrymargaret : You’re right, that would be a completely different story all together
happyhappywife : Thank you – I will put my controlling tendencieas aside until the time comes
ajillity81 : That made feel alot better – thank you for sharing!
happyroo : I dont know yet, and he hasnt asked for my parent’s blessing yet, so you’re right it is kinda of still a surprise because I dont know when and how. Hopefully he keeps that part a surprise too.
Sunshine528 : Yes, sometimes I have to step back and realize it is just the ring. Though an added bonus, and to me a big exciting part of it, what matters is spending our lives together and when he asks.
sabride2017 : I hope I have that same feeling one day! Thank you for sharing!
sensoda : Life is never what we expect, and I need to learn that one day – havent learned that yet. How did he propose?
slomotion : Its normal, I just hope I still get those feelings that I have been invisioning since childhood
ellsiepig : Thats actually a really good idea, that way you’re surprised and get to design and pick out the ring together.
Post # 13
becomingmichi : Thats the perfect story! How romantic! Thank you for sharing!
Post # 14
Not at all. I think what you did was smart. Some people have this mentality that a proposal should be a 100% surpise. I know of a few people who have proposed without ever having talked about marriage with their S/O (bad idea imo) and blindly picked out a ring. I think the marriage and ring talk needs to be had several times before a proposal is planned. If not, there is always that risk of the person saying no (money wasted) or her not liking the ring. Many people know it is coming, but the when and how is still a surprise and there is nothing wrong with that. You ruined nothing! I showed my Boyfriend or Best Friend examples of rings and described to him exactly what I’d like, and now I’m in the waiting stage as well for the when and how. You have to wear this ring for the rest of your life, and I think it is super special that you both worked on it together.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA
I honestly don’t think you ruined it. It is awesome that you took such an important step together. He may still be able to surprise you with the proposal. That is more or less what happened to me.
My fiancé sent me lots of pictures of rings he liked, and I sent him feedback and pictures I liked. We talked about specs a little bit. He knew I liked intricate settings (cathedral being my favorite) and he was set in getting me aquamarines as side stones (I used to collect gemstones, and aquamarines became my favorite ones after I first saw my fiancé lovely blue eyes). From then on, he found a setting he liked (and that he knew I would love), had it made and BAM! It is more beautiful than what I had envisioned.
I knew he was going to propose sometime soon, of course, since he got a ring and everything. He still got to catch me totally unawares and proposed to me in a (late) Christmas breakfast with his whole family there. What a magical moment that was… His mom got everything on video (still I had no clue he was going to propose, as they are great enthusiasts of recording and photographing nice moments of daily life).
Both of us gave photo books to one another for Christmas, with sweet messages next to our favorite pictures together. Neither knew the other one had picked the same gift – and, hilariously, chose the same cover picture.
You can see the video of me not having a clue he was going to propose, and taking my sweet time reading my photo book (while his family was going bonkers out of anxiety, lol) here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yKcdoUa33Y&t=207s
Enjoy the butterflies waiting for your sweet proposal day! 🙂