(Closed) Should I have let her come to my wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@cmbr:  She’s wrong and they are both crazy! There is a reason people address invitations the way they do. I hope that neither of them can make it because I have a feeling they will just bring drama to your wedding.

Post # 4
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@cmbr:  You’ve done nothing wrong. The whole point of inviting partners is because they are just that – partners – they do things together and are a “social unit”.

You could text your reasoning back (something like, “The invitation was to X and his gf – you’re not his gf” or “Numbers are limited, we can’t invite everyone we’ve ever met”) but it might be better to ignore her because I doubt she can be reasoned with.

Post # 5
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

You followed all the rules- they didn’t! Stick to your guns, and don’t let them make you feel bad. It would suck to have this girl there, especially since it sounds like she is up to something.


Post # 7
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

in the grand scheme of things, it’s really not important if this girls goes. you were already budgeting for a person going with him. i say ler her go, if only to avoid drama

Post # 8
10601 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

You’ve done nothing wrong.  Darling Husband and I went to a wedding where someone had a ‘substitute date’ and people spoke about how odd it was.

Post # 9
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yea – it sounds like this girl is still stuck in college and is hurt because she wasn’t invited to the sleepover.

And texting you guys is her way of bullying her way into your wedding, yet again?   What a maniac.   Just ignore her texts from now on and stand your ground. 

Post # 10
3229 posts
Sugar bee

You could’ve let her come but not now! Don’t back down. She seems like a complete drama queen. 

Post # 11
14 posts
  • Wedding: December 2013

Stick to your guns, she sounds like trouble..more so if she comes to the wedding. You could also tell her its rude to invite yourself to someones wedding when you’re not welcome, or better yet just ignore her texts.

Post # 12
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’ve done nothing wrong, and she sounds gross. Just via your post she was giving me the creepy vibe. Don’t relent!

Post # 13
567 posts
Busy bee

@cmbr:  “we’ve been told by multiple people that she has been approaching everyone to see if 1. they’re invited to the wedding, 2. if they have a date, and 3. could she be their date to the wedding.”

That would definitely tell me I don’t want her there,she sounds desperate to be there… why?

Post # 14
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m not an absolute stickler for utterly rigid etiquette but in this case, it was wrong of your guest to invite this clearly rude and rather bonkers woman. Had she kept her trap shut and not stirred the pot then I might have been more tolerant about letting her attend given that you’d allocated 2 places for this particular guest. But you’d expect him to ask if he could bring a substitute for the unavailable girlfriend. Not just roll along with someone. Especially this particular someone and especially since numbers are tight anyway and there are people who can’t attend that you’d have liked to be there.


Post # 15
3306 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@bebero:  “in the grand scheme of things, it’s really not important if this girls goes. you were already budgeting for a person going with him. i say ler her go, if only to avoid drama”

Actually given the shenannigans this girl has already displayed it seems clear to me that if she IS allowed to come there will be even more drama. As a drama-averse Bride  myself, I’m expert at identifying the path-of-least-foolishness. And in my view keeping her away from your wedding is precisely the right thing to do if avoiding drama is what you’re after.

Post # 16
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

This chixk does not have good wishes for the couple at heart. I’d be afraid she’d try to object or something! Or snark about you the whole evening

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