- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
My fiance has a huge family. As in, his dad has 7 siblings and just one of those seven has seven grown children of his own. We extended guest invitations to anyone who was in a relationship at the time the invitations went out, but because of space and budget limitations, we didn’t offer a +1 to anyone who was single (unless they were bridal party, flying in, wouldn’t know anyone there, etc).
We had two people contact us to ask if they could bring someone they had recently started dating and we’ve accomodated that. However, a more recent situation really kind of threw us. When we didn’t receive the RSVP card back by the due date from one of my fiance’s college friends, we contacted him to find out if he and his long-term girlfriend (also a friend from college) would be able to attend.
He responded and informed us (not asked) that he would be bringing instead another girl they went to college with. Apparently his girlfriend is unable to attend, and although we addressed the invitation specifically to the two of them by name, he decided to invite this other girl as his “date” without clearing it with us first.
We’ve tried to be reasonable and understanding with this whole wedding planning process. Really, we have. But this particular girl we really would prefer to not have there. She’s obnoxious, she had a thing for my fiance in and after college, my fiance hasn’t talked to this girl in years, and we’ve been told by multiple people that she has been approaching everyone to see if 1. they’re invited to the wedding, 2. if they have a date, and 3. could she be their date to the wedding.
The whole situation just seems super weird. Besides the fact that we don’t want her there, we have single cousins that we didn’t extend +1’s to. I’d really prefer to give my cousin the option of bringing a date before I let this distant friend bring this girl just for funsies.
My fiance and I were on the same page with this situation and attempted to use the standard lines that people always recommend on Weddingbee. We told the friend that unfortunately, we wouldn’t be able to accomodate this extra guest, that the invitation was specifically for him and his girlfriend. He tried arguing with us several times, saying how disappointed this girl would be, how excited she was to attend, etc, and we said, “I’m sorry, we hope you can still attend.” Well shit hit the fan today when she started sending my fiance messages about how “rude” the two of us are for not allowing her to come to our wedding.
Am I seriously the wrong one here? I feel like she was rude in fishing for an invitation to our wedding (when she’s not friends with either of us) — this is our wedding, not a kegger or a college reunion. I feel like the friend was rude for not clearing this whole thing with us first. I have good friends who I see every day that I would like to invite to my wedding and couldn’t. I don’t want this girl there!