(Closed) Did I totally blow a 'rule' out of the water?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 47
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have you considered a honeymoon registry, if that’s really what you want?  Google it, and you’ll find plenty.  You register for specific items–hotels, plane tickets, dinners, hot air balloon rides, museum admissions, massages, whatever—typically, you get to completely decide what the ‘items’ on the registry area.  Then, some (if not most) just cut you a check for the value of what people gave you.  Read the policies carefully–some take a larger percentage than others.  Friend of mine did this, worked out nicely (although I just sent her a check, so she could get an extra glass of wine isntead of paying a fee to the site!)

Post # 48
15 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

Hi there! It seems that I may be the odd one here. It is YOUR wedding so I say do as you please. I have never had a problem with people requesting money for wedding gifts and I have been to a few with that request. Also, my invitations went out and the packet included a poem expressing a monetary request. Why is it such a big deal? Please do not stress over what etiquette says. I find it odd that we try so hard to play by the rules someone else made up. Make up your own and be happy! This is about your beautiful union so don’t get swept up in the small stuff. 

Post # 49
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I fine this so strange that this is a no no on here. In Australia it is quite a common thing to request cash in lue of gifts. On the invite they just mention they are having a wishing well or are having a honeymoon fund and give account details. I have even been to a engagement part where they had a wishing well total normal here.

Post # 50
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We didn’t word it anywhere on our invites, we just didn’t register either. People will figure it out. We did get some gifts too which is totally fine.

I would take it off the invitation, pass the information through word of mouth and delete some things off your registry to avoid people buying you things if you really don’t want them.

Post # 51
16 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

I dont get the big deal about why people get so worked up about wedding gift etiquette. Its your wedding so just do what you want. Sure it might piss people off but you cant satisfy everyone 100% of the time. I will be having a wishing well at my reception and will include some nice wording on an insert in my invitation

If you are comfortable doing it I say do it 🙂

Post # 52
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It’s disturbing, really, how many people ae so focused on the “gifts” aspect of ther wedding. Do you not get that gifts should be freely given, and chosen, by those who feel like giving them? They are not obligations on the part of your guests.

IMO, weddings should never be staged with any expectations of gifts at all – it’s about having those you love, and who love you, come and be part of this significant celebration. If they should choose to give a gift, it should be accepted happily for the thought that came with it.

Asking for cash is taking this obessesion with gifts to a level of being offensive to many people.



Post # 53
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Some people will not want to give you money, so I would make a small registry of a few things that you actually want. Take registry/money information off of the invite. If you have a wedding website, say on there that you would prefer money rather than gifts, and spread it by word of mouth.

Post # 54
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@hiroshymatetrastar:  Not  a big deal to me, honestly id prefer it so i know what you actually want. Not that it  matters, i usually give cash anyway.

Post # 55
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013



+1  Well said!!


And how many “extra” people get invited to weddings, that don’t really matter to the wedding party, knowing they will not attend and just send a gift?  Quite a few, I bet.  I knew someone that invited 600 people to her wedding.  600! 

Post # 56
8686 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

It sounds like ypu already knew the answer to this question judging from your post AND you are not a “newbee.” LOL

However, remove some items if you dont need it and let your guests know your cash preference via word of mouth.

Post # 58
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@hiroshymatetrastar:  I think you have to contact a moderator to have a thread closed, although I think you’ve gotten some really great advice here.

If you feel like you have to have a registry, register somewhere where items can be returned for cash (BBB), and don’t register for very much. People will get the hint and give you cash, it’s as simple as that. Most people will frown upon putting registry information on the invites (it’s not hard for people to find out where you’re registered), but you know your friends and family better than we do.

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