Did knowing he was going to propose ruin it for you?

posted 7 days ago in Proposals
Post # 2
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I knew exactly when and how, and that changed absolutely nothing about how amazing it was. I was no less excited when he started his speech or dropped to his knee. Knowing made it no less special or meaningful. I didn’t have to rehearse a reaction or pretend to be surprised. My reaction was the same as if I hadn’t known.

But, I did not let on and I will never let him know that I knew what was happening. He always tries so hard to surprise me, but never can, either because he spills the beans himself, or because he is the least subtle person in the world. I knew it meant a lot to him to surprise me with this, and knowing didn’t make it any less special for me.

Post # 3
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Like PP, I knew it was coming but he thought (still thinks) it was a total surprise. I found out because I snooped and I do regret that, but it was still so amazing! I remember it so vividly and I wish I could go back and re-do it the exact same way because it was so awesome. 

Even if you know the when and where, you don’t know what it feels like to be proposed to, that will still be a surprise!

Post # 4
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I was pleased, not overwhelmed with joy. I’m also not the sort to be overcome with emotion. We were already committed and living together, getting married was just checking a box that we both wanted to check. It was a joint decision that we both had control over.

Post # 5
1 posts

I haven’t gotten my proposal, but we both wanted to know if our relationship was going to be permanent early on.  I’d say we discussed whether or not we’d be willing to get married at the 6 month mark (both of us said “Yes, eventually.”)  Then we moved in with each other.  1 and a half years later he asked me what general style of ring I wanted.

For us, the feeling of security discussing marriage before the proposal brough was well worth it!  We’re both also interested in having kids, so it was important to sort out expectations given the biological clocks involved.  We also didn’t want to rush into anything (both my parents divorced their original spouses before they met each other due to rushing to get married.)

For me, not knowing the exact date he’s going to propose is plenty of excitement.  I don’t know where we’ll be.  I don’t know what the ring will look like.  But I do know that it’s going to be a heartfelt proposal from the man I love–That’s all I really need!

Post # 6
1658 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I knew for the most part. I know he had a ring and I knew what week he was going to propose. We talked about everything. To me, it was still super exciting and fun. I know some people really want a surprise but it didn’t bother me. 

Post # 7
183 posts
Blushing bee

I love surprises, so I wanted my proposal to be a surprise. But I also like puzzles so I always guessed and tried to figure out when he was going to ppropose (without digging and asking his friends and family and such). I guessed correctly and saw it coming when we went on a trip to Seattle and he wanted someone to take a picture of us. I knew he was going to drop to one knee when the picture was going to be taken and he did.

Although I do wonder what it would have been like to be caught completely off guard, I wouldn’t say knowing it was coming ruined the proposal. I was still overwhelmed and excited. I couldn’t hear what he was saying while he was down on one knee because I was so busy thinking with excitement, “Omg is this actually happening? I am actually getting proposed to from the man I want to marry?! Is this real life??!”

Surprises are lovely and I absolutely wanted one, but being engaged to the love of my life was what I wanted more than a surprise proposal. So if you keep that mindset, you won’t be disappointed when you know he is about to propose. My advice is to focus more on the fact that you get to spend forever with the man or woman you love more than the proposal (and wedding day) itself. And trust that your man is trying his best he make you feel special when he proposes, even if it isn’t 100% perfect. 

Post # 8
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I knew when, where and how he would propose and it was STILL the most magical, romantic moment in my life.  We knew early on that we would be married and simply waited the next couple of years so that we could save and have the wedding that we wanted.

Post # 9
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I knew it was going to happen on our trip back in March as he told me, but didn’t know what day and it was still such a special moment for us. I didn’t have the water works, but was still surprised that it was really happening. 

Post # 10
33 posts

It didn’t ruin it for me! I know he was going to do it before the end of this year because that is what we discussed and we bought the ring together about a month prior. I didn’t know when exactly and where he was going to do it. I also knew he wanted to talk to my dad (who texted me and told me my fiance called him the day he spoke with him!) but I just thought “oh he’s moving along in the process”. He proposed to me at home (we live together) the day I got back from a trip on a red eye flight, the day AFTER he spoke with my dad and two days after he picked up the ring from the jeweler. I had no clue he was going to do it so quickly. Even though I knew it was on the horizon, I was taken aback and very excited, surprised and emotional!  Looking back, it was absolutely perfect!

Post # 11
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

natasha0b :  didn’t make a difference to me!  I knew he was going to propose soon and I even guessed the correct weekend/day.  And even having an idea that it was going to happen that day didn’t change how exciting and joyful the moment was.  I didn’t know what he was planning, where, or exaclty when, so it was still a little bit of a surprise.  Plus I hadn’t seen the ring so that was of course super exciting as well.

Post # 12
1762 posts
Buzzing bee

I knew he was going to propose on a long ski weekend we had planned, six months after we started dating. He certainly had thrown a lot of hints around, from “this is going to be a special trip” to “I got a bottle of Veuve Cliquot”. I’m not really a drinker and we had skied a good bit already that winter, so I knew what was going down. Of course it didn’t ruin anything, and I wonder at the maturity level of those who insist the proposal must be a “surprise”……after living together for years and picking out a ring, no less. Give me a break.

And I will say that you really get to know someone when you travel (and ski) with them. I have fond memories of standing at the top of some miserable black diamond run that we wound up on with patches of ice and moguls and feeling like I wanted to cry. And my then fiance shouting from below me “Sunburn! Just point your skis down and go!”. And so I did.

Post # 13
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

I had a general timeline (“it will be within two months”) and I don’t think it ruined it.  It was far more difficult than I expected though.  I was super anxious and I remember the pressure was super intense to get rolling on wedding planning.  But I was still incredibly happy.

Post # 14
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Did not ruin it for me, and he still managed to surprise me with the “how” (a scavenger hunt that included a cruel twist ending that tricked me into thinking it WASN’T the proposal after all, that brat! :P) It was still an amazing moment for me, even knowing what was coming 🙂 

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