Post # 1
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
This is aimed for the bees who lived with their husbands before marriage. Did you notice any differences in your relationship feom bf/gf/fiance to when you guys were married? For example did you go from hanging out with friends every Wednesday night before marriage and now only see those same friends/family monthly? Or before you didn’t cook for fiance every night but now you do?
For my fiance and I we live in a house together and we live as married. Meaning we attend things as a social unit. I’m not referring to girls nigjts or guys nights obviously. I cook for him when we are home together. While we have separate bank accounts we pretty much combine money. Like if one of us is having major car trouble it doesn’t matter where the money comes from we are a team. But i certainly wouldnt be magically all of a sudden seeing my friends less based on principle because we are suddenly married. That seems unhealthy to me. It is important to always have a good support system. Just because you’re suddenly married shouldnt mean all of a sudden the friends who were always there for you become less important.
I see some posts where women will say oh I didn’t cook for him hefore we were married but now i cook for him every night or I went from seeing my friends weekly to monthly. I’m kinda confused like if you live together the princjple of oh its not important to cook for him or see him everynight after work but boom its like a ligut switch now that we’re married it js important I don’t do drinks Wednesday evenings with friends but every night there is a meal on the table. Seems very black and white.
Reading those posts make me feel weird that my fiance and I are like that in that the only thing that will change one we marry is that i will have his last name.
Post # 2
Member
1175 posts
Bumble bee
For us, it didn’t change after marriage. I think maybe some of those couples that describe a change after marriage is because they didn’t live together. I think living together after marriage when you didn’t comes with a steeper learning curve. However, seems like you’re both already married in the sense that you live together and have practically combined your finances. A marriage is what you make it out to be. If you and your Fiance are content with status quo, then I don’t see why things would change. Now if you were having a kid, then I would say yes, expect some major life changes, but if just getting married and you guys have already established your hobbies/schedule, then I don’t expect much to change.
Post # 3
Member
15395 posts
Honey Beekeeper
We lived together for a year before getting married, and not a single thing changed after marriage.
Post # 4
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
Hi Bee!
We were engaged for almost 4 years prior to our marriage this march and we’ve been living together for 3 years now. And I have to say that actually not much has changed.
Just yesterday someone asked me about how married life is and I answered that after getting used to our rings (especially him wearing a ring) there’s actually not that much that changed lol. I didn’t change my last name, so this would probably be something I would have to adjust more. And we’re thinking about getting a bank account together.
When we decided on a date, though, and began the wedding planning I had some anxiety and issues I had to address with him and with myself.
Post # 5
Member
6104 posts
Bee Keeper
It depends on what marriage means to you/how much. Some people just *feel* different after marriage. In the past people would say that life changes after marriage but that was based on the assumption that people didn’t live together prior.
Post # 6
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
We lived together for 3 years prior to getting married, and nothing changed for us after tying the knot. DH doesn’t agree with me on this, but I feel like we bickered a little more after getting married, but I attribute that to stressful work situations/moving out of state and away from family and friends. Now that we’ve moved back, we DO see our friends less than we used to, but that’s what happens when people start having kids!
Post # 7
Member
35 posts
Newbee
Honestly, I didn’t think anything would change since we had been living together for 2 years before getting married. In terms of lifestyle, zero change. But.. really great things about my SO shine brighter now and I think to myself “wow, I have this forever” – on the flip side, when something is irritating or worse, upsetting.. I also think “wow this is forever”… Double edged sword! There is a level of seriousness I approach the relationship with that I didn’t before.. for example, we’re moving to another country together .. this goes hand in hand with the higher level of committment we decided to get into. I’ve also been more conscious about his health for some reason… 😅
Post # 8
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
Well I can’t speak for after marriage….but like, we own a house together, all our finances are joint, we have a puppy, we already do everything together. We’ve gone through financial difficulty, and financial success. We’ve moved interstate. We’ve travelled.
Aside from the extra jewellery, I can’t see life changing at all come August. like…what else is there?
Post # 9
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: June 2018 - England
Nothing changed for us routine wise, But I have to say it’s a good feeling to know I am lucky enough to be married to my husband! I don’t know if that will wear off eventually 😂.
Post # 10
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
Not really. He can be a real shit sometime. And so can I. But I’d rather annoy/be annoyed by him for the rest of our lives than anyone else.
Post # 11
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
My name changed and I was able to refer to him as my husband but that’s it!
Post # 12
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
mrspuppylove : yeah mine calls me Wifey now. <3
Post # 14
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
mamabat : ahahaha 100% that’s my relationship too. You shit me off, but I would rather be shat off by you than anyone else.
ahhh. modern love.
Post # 15
Member
481 posts
Helper bee
In all of my previous relationships I didnt want to live together before marriage, because I wanted the married to feel like the start of a new phase in our lives. But that completely changed when I met my now husband. From the start, I wanted to be with him all of the time, and home became wherever he was. We moved in together after seeing each other for a month. And I knew he was the person I was meant to spend my life with, because I didnt need marriage to make our relationship feel magical and special. I love being married to him, and our married life has simply been a continuation of the wonderful relationship we’ve had from the start.
