Did my best to throw a fun bachelorette

posted 4 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee

And she thanked you.

Sorry you didn’t get all the feel-good pats on the head with effusive praise you wanted, but I think you’re going to have to learn to be okay with being thanked a bit more simply.  There’s nothing wrong with a simple thank you.

Post # 3
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Some people truly aren’t great at expressing appreciation. Did the bride do anything that made you think she doesn’t appreciate it? Brides tend to get their bridal party a gift at the end (at the rehearsal dinner) maybe she will write you a nice note expressing appreciation along with the thank you gift

Post # 4
Member
9617 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

But she did thank you? I don’t really see why you need to her gush over you.

Post # 6
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

She did thank you. Maybe it wasn’t effusive, and maybe you deserved more (a nice thank you note, or at least a text.) But she said “thank you.” Typically, we aren’t in these things for the kudos, but for the pleasure we get from doing kind things for people we care about. 

I’m a big, mushy “thank you” person. I sent me best friend an email about how much she meant to me after she accompanied me wedding dress shopping! But that’s just me. It sounds like you don’t know the bride that well, so perhaps she just isn’t a big gratitude person? 

I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt, but it sounds like the best course of action is to lower your expecations. You aren’t close to her and probably won’t be after the wedding. Grin, bear it, and resolve to never put this much effort into a lopsided relationship again.

Post # 8
Member
6100 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

mohsos :  But no one told you to do all of that that? You chose to do those things. 

Sorry it sucks. You did your part (more than your part, sounds like). I don’t see a reason to be “gutted”. That sounds a bit excessive and dramatic. You’re a generous person trying to do something for someone else. I think this is just an invitation for you to be more discerning about how you share your generosity in the future. A good gauge is- if you feel like shit afterward, you did too much.

Post # 9
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I can totally understand you. I also think that you should give a thank you form the heart when someone did something like this for you.

But sometimes I also forget to express that especifically. More so when I have a lot of things in my head and am just glad that something worked out and I can move on to the next thing.

If you’re really worried about it then you could ask her if she enjoyed the party and then maybe she’ll going to say more.

Post # 10
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

mohsos :  lol honestly i would stop helping her with ANY wedding stuff at all. Say you’re too busy & drop out. She sounds rude, entitled,  & she’s an unappreciative wench. She didn’t deserve all the stuff you did, & also you did way too much. 

Like, “uhh ok, I’m eating bologna sandwiches for the next 2 weeks & had to cut Netflix for 6 months to throw you this effing party buuut yea. No prob. Happy to-” *door closes in your face*

 

Post # 11
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2019

beepboopbop :  

I might not go this far, but I agree with you that the bride seems kind of ungrateful. 

Call me extra or old fashioned, but no, a simple ‘thank you’ isn’t enough! That’s what you give soemone who holds a door open for you, when you get change back at the coffee shop or a sales person helps you find something in a store. 

You definitely deserve more gratitude, bee! 

Post # 12
Member
11974 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

She needn’t gush, but let’s be real here. A quick “thanks, bye” was pretty lame. 

Who knows why she’s this way, but from what you’ve said, it’s consistent with her behavior in other situations. Maybe she’s socially clumsy, has social anxiety, is self centered or was resentful and unsatisfied with the party itself. But yes, she should have been more gracious and made a point of thanking you for all you did. 

Maybe she’ll write you a note, but I would not hold my breath. If she knows enough to do that, she’d know enough to express some gratitude. 

Post # 13
Member
8820 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

mohsos :  It doesn’t make sense to martyr yourself for someone that you’ve already admitted you don’t like and who you described as selfish, and then be surprised that she didn’t gush her appreciation for it. If she’s as bad as you say in your previous post, what else would you expect from her? And if she’s not that bad, then she could probably tell you weren’t sincere and were only acting out of obligation, which doesn’t usually inspire greatfulness.

Post # 14
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Iʻd let it go for right now, sheʻs probs caught up in wedding craziness… but if you donʻt get a little extra thank you written in a card or in person or as a gift more so than anyone else who did the minimum Iʻd definitely either say something like “hey I worked really hard and just felt it earned a little more appreciation” or just reevaluate the friendship altogether, especially if sheʻs a selfish person in general. Sorry, Bee. Hang in there, weddings are crazy.

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